November 24, 2012
her face when I asked her what her power feels like
“Mom, I don’t know how this happened but it did….” she said as she strapped her bag on like Angelina-Jolie in a super-power-kick-ass action flick.
Me: What happened?!!
Her: Well, you know how I used to not be so fast, couldn’t jump, got tired and stuff? Well, you know, that was when I was six, but I am seven now and I just feel fast and like a good hiker. I feel so much POWER, like I am a great artist and good at ballet…mom, I am hard core Parkour.
Me: Oh, Luce, that is so rad. It feels so good to know your power huh?
Her: Yeah, it totally does.
…and she ran away to hop rocks in her hot pink suede boots. I have no idea how she even knows about parkour. * …and she turned 7 months ago, so I don’t know why this was the day she called it out, but she did.
I know she felt the thrill of free running, just like those crazy, amazing men hopping across buildings in France. She saw herself just like that and every leap across the rocky terrain exposed her manifestation…her power was stacking.
She reached her first obstacle, the divide looked too big and she started to doubt because there is always a moment of doubt.
Her: Mom, I am afraid.
Me: I know…I feel like that too sometimes, but just because you are afraid doesn’t mean your power is gone. It just may take a minute for you to find it, but it’s still there.
Her: (just a minute later) Okay, yeah. I think I got it.
…and she did.
…and I seriously started to wonder if you can wake up one day and decide for something to be true about yourself …and then it is.
…that someplace inside you there is a power that will give you the courage and strength to take on something that feels so outside your reach. There is no guarantee that you will be perfect at it or that it won’t be hard but that maybe you will have the power to live and be it. …and the chance of obstacles is so high, but maybe that just isn’t a good enough reason to not do it anymore. …because you are 7 now.
It feels so, so hardcore parkour.
On our way hiking back, I was thinking out loud and said, “Hmmm, not sure which way to go.”
Her: Mom, take my hand, I know the way…even grown ups need someone to help them find their power some times.
She lead the way and I wondered what the power of 37 or 43 or 56 may be. …because today I found out my inner seven year old ain’t no joke, and has some power free running left to do.
If you feel like connecting in the comments today: What power of your age is waiting for you to call out? What one thing do you wish you could do or be? It’s never too late to find your power.
*I can only guess from 2 You Tube lovin’ older brothers, the same people I had to convince just yesterday that taking video of your baby sister (Lyra) accidentally saying “damn it” was NOT appropriate to upload to the internet. (or video for that matter) They thought it was hilarious, which felt sort of ironic to me. …and mildly funny.
August 6, 2012
“I am so excited mom…but I am a little nervous too.” she said while she shuffled around staring at her new chocolate boots and the chalk art on the ground.
“I know, me too.” I answered, staring at this girl of mine. “I think it’s always like that when you start something new.” I said with my you-got-this confidence voice.
Truth is- I’ve been a little more than a little nervous. My brow has stayed in the mother furrowed position.
Do you think she will be okay?
You know she has that funky way of processing…it probably means she’s brilliant or something, but that stuff never fits in school. I don’t even care if she’s brilliant or not, she’s so persistent, bossy, loving and can be so intense, and don’t forget her insane desire to do, be, make art…this kid needs to be heard, understood…seen. Awww hell, we all need that.
Do you think this was my big sign from the universe that I should homeschool? …oh God, I am not sure I can handle it.
We really should just save our pennies now for that magical middle school for girls that we can probably never afford.
…I am not even sure who I was talking to but my mind went on and on.
…and then I did the only thing I knew to do, I took her out for a girly day. A new uniform, a pixie hair cut, a big flower headband…and lots of fill-her-soul up stuff, friends, books, nature,and nail polish. Her excitement was building, she was so blissed out. So ready for the next step.
…and somewhere in the middle of all the soul filling I realized I was actually the one being taken to school. I didn’t see it but at some point she crawled out of my body and became her own person. I mean, my body doesn’t even keep her alive any more, she doesn’t have any trouble saying how she feels or asking for what she needs, and every skill that drove me crazy at age 3 turned out to be the best tricks in her bag to navigate life so far.
How did this happen? How did I get enrolled in the school of independence? What. The. What?
Ohhhh, I knew it. I know one day…
she will have a crappy teacher that may not get her
she may rock the hell out of her art show
she will figure out some boy/girl is just not for her or she may get dumped
she will have to stand up for herself or walk away
she will hate me when I tell her she can’t wear that trashy skirt
she will be wounded, and find a way to heal
she will be be brave and kind
she will stumble, make a horrible mistake and be sorry
she will put on the most perfect outfit and feel so full of every part of her beautiful body and self
she will wonder if she is enough
she will dance
she will feel alone and have to give what she needs to herself
she will drink too much and regret it…and then do it again
she will fail
she will triumph
she will love deeply, with all of her heart
…she will live her very own life.
…and there’s nothing I can do about it. …and that’s wonderful and terrifying. …and then I took a deep breath and looked around. I looked at her papa wrap his arms around her…and I looked at my friend Emily hold her Marie close…with the same look of confidence in her eyes. the same look of love.
…and every spot I looked held the same love she’ll need, the same love she knows, the love birth gave her, the love her soul has always held.
So I cursed the school under my breath knowing I have so many more classes to go to…but sat down in the love, remembering it has never left me either.
May 9, 2012
A few weeks ago Lucy asked if she could have a tea party. I instantly said yes as we both needed something to connect us as things have been high drama lately in girl world over here. We went straight to my bed and crawled in to start Pinteresting.
I think parties for no good reason may be the most fun to plan. There is no pressure of a birthday and it all can be done in your own sweet time. We had a magical Harry Potter party a few years back and ever since then I realized this is a sweet spot for us.
Luce decided on tea and strawberry parfaits. I have never made a parfait in my life, but this strawberry cheesecake recipe was just lovely. Things got crazy the day before party day so I did most of the prep myself.
A few things I figured out:
1. A twin size fitted sheet fits a rectangle table perfectly and won’t blow up in the wind.
2. Port wine cheese can be put into a pastry bag to decorate crackers with the sweetest little hearts.
3. Tiny blessings can be left on each seat and the perfect girl ended up sitting at the one meant for her.
a few of ours read:
You are Powerful
Your wisdom is magic
Your joy is contagious
You are deeply loved
You are beautiful in so many ways
You were made for adventure-(this was Lyra’s response when I read hers)
4. If your kid wants to switch up the party and do an incredibly messy and involved art project, just let her…it wasn’t worth the navigation of party dynamics. I won but totally realized my agenda shouldn’t have been as important.
5. Invite something meaningful in, we all need it and little girls rock at embracing it. We decided to do tattoos.
I asked each girl what word best represented or described them* and then I painted the word or phrase on them where ever they wanted. Their answers were awesome…and then the girls took turns drawing tattoos on each other with these VERY rad tattoo pens that our friend Jen lent us. (I wanna buy like a bagillion of them) There were sleeves of flowers and vines and henna-esque flowers of all rainbow colors. I sat for a half hour with my buddy Nora taking turns drawing pictures on each other.
She was the Queen of Water and Air and her bestie was Adventurous. I can only imagine what the combo will do one day.
There is something sweet about calling in the celebration of girlhood and mixing it with a bit of power and claiming parts of yourself together, before the world tries to chip it away.
…and nothing calls it in better than tea and tattoos.
*thanks to Katherine Center who is the queen of painting words on women.
August 15, 2010
Things that make me smile:
this girl, this face, her girl power:
“Mom, we are the girls and when we get big together we are gonna have a big girl party and dress in diamonds because we are best friends, right?” she said while brushing our teeth together.
Me: “Oh yes! …and when you get big, I’m going to take you to New York City!”
Lucy: “And when you get big, I’m gonna take you on a playdate.”
Me: “Perfect, I would love that!”
Lucy: “Yeah! Pinky swear because we are the girls!”
and we linked pinkies and kissed our thumbs…forevah!