party of five…

February 21, 2005

so it seems i’m pregnant. it feels unreal somehow, like i’m not sure it’s really happening.

i waited a whole week to tell jorge, anyone that knows me is shocked i could keep such a secret for so long.
i’m just not great that way, i can keep other people’s secrets but anything that involves just myself, forget it. the filter is barely there. i’ d like to think it’s a sweet, endearing, vulnerable quality about me, but it has gotten me into trouble in the past. this is also the reason i suck at poker. after the initial shock, jorge just had a silly grin on his face the rest of the night.
we have been joking for months about how awful it would be if we got pregnant right now.
“wow babe, we dodged that bullet this month…” ha,ha,ha…
“oh my god, dude, can you imagine if we got pregnant, that would suck.” “i know, right?”
so you can imagine my hesitation to tell. but jorge reminded me this is how we do things, we aren’t really planners, we like it to just sort of happen. and then of course, we wax poetic about how this really is the best timing ever and discuss trivial matters like what kind of car we should buy. the x-terra is just too small. i can see my husband’s mind ticking, mixing the practical with the mushy. i am however, still cautious…pregnancy has always been a lonely time for me.
it brings back memories of hard times and experiences. the process sounds tiring and long but the idea of a baby sounds so right. we weren’t complete, party of four only sounded right for a while. i know we always have been waiting for our party of five…

8 Responses to “party of five…”

  1. Cathy Says:

    Wow Pache! Congrats to you and your growing family. 🙂

  2. patience Says:

    thanks c! i felt sort of guilty after that post, i sounded so cavalier about being able to get pregnant (and not wanting to be)…it really is wild and wonderful, just sort of surprising too.

  3. Cathy Says:

    Pregnancy is such a wild and surreal journey. I think it’s always a little surprising. I think even those who “plan” their pregnancies have to step back and catch their breath a little in the beginning.

  4. Anonymous Says:

    you’ll be happy when you are old..children are a blessing..YMGH

  5. Lara Says:

    Wow! I hadn’t checked in on you in a while, and when I do there’s big but exciting news. I like the way you describe waiting to be a party of five.

  6. Urban Mama Says:

    So excited for you guys; If ANYONE can have a big family, it’s you two. 🙂 Maybe it will be a girl this time. I hear you on the timing issue. I felt that way with both of her pregnancies. I’m not allowed to even think about another child until I’m 31-32, as per Hans’ orders!

  7. Simi Says:

    Wow. WOW! Patience! Wow. I’m just speechless. You are seriously my parenting-idol, so I’m with Sandie in thinking that if anyone can do this with absolute grace and humor, it’s you. I tried to call you a bunch of times, but I’m finally admitting that the phone # I have must be wrong. Thinking of you (guiltily, for not being a better friend and keeping in touch) often.

    Miss you!

  8. Anonymous Says:

    I’ve been meaning to come by and say…CONGRATULATIONS! How exciting for your family.:D


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