a fall redeemed…

November 11, 2006

jack and i have been properly worshipping the leaves this fall. sadly our sanctuary has been the car, we still ride down my street and pray to the blue sky and orange trees. the yellow oaks are a call to prepare our hearts right before the wind blows her blessing on us.

“jack! do you see that?”
“yeah, mama!”
“it makes me happy jackie-boy.”
“me too mama.”

the leaves fall and our car pushes right through blowing the holiness to someone else.

the only dark part of this beauty is that we should be outside, not confined by glass and steel. we rush through unable to really soaked up the magic.

i have been spending most of my days in the car. i hate this…this life that is dictated by school hours, homework, bedtimes, schedule, laundry and the like. i can’t find my rhythm, responsibility is calling the shots. spontaneity has taken a back seat, i love that dear girl. she is full of joy and i miss her desperately.

i thought all was lost, the winter-like air has swept in quickly during the month of november. the days of walking to carytown to get a little piece of chocolate , a yummy lunch,
or play and be inspired felt pretty much over. i am not yet ready to switch gears to starbucks and hibernation. winter can be long and harsh and i never had a chance to say good-bye to my good friend fall. she was kind and granted mercy today. the sun was shining proudly, t-shirts and flip flops had one last show.

lucy and i almost skipped to all our places in town. lucy waved and said, “bye!” to every stranger along the way. it didn’t matter whether we were coming or going, her gift was happily received. the smiles were deep and genuine. after finding lots of treasures we made our way back to our haven.
naps were in order, they seemed the perfect benediction. i was unable to sleep and found myself in the kitchen making homemade macaroni and cheese. the thought of an inevitable winter still was looming in the back of my mind. the season of so many things are coming to an end for me. my spirituality will try to live off the new harvest i’ve been gathering, hopeful that peace will be born by spring. it weighs on my heart today.

acoustics sounds of a guitar and bass start to fill my kitchen. they mix with the aroma of the comfort food, all of my senses being tended to. the guys next door are preparing for their gig tonight. it could not be more perfect. the live music finds it’s way deep into my soul. i sit on my porch, the only one at this show. fall has not allowed me to despair, like a mother she knew i needed her to be redeemed and find my own redemption so that i may embrace a new hope…

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