the sonogram mother…

May 10, 2008

I am always nervous before I go for a sonogram. I find myself watching the discovery health shows the night before. I spend the rest of the evening convincing myself all will be well when they tell me I am in fact having a dwarf baby the next day. The weird part is, I do think I would be okay.

We sat in the waiting room with a wiggly Lucy requesting that we draw various animals on the back of crumbled up papers found in my bag. I laughed at Jorge’s attempts at a cow.

Renee never opens the waiting room door, she just calls my name in a loud bellow from the next room.

“I remember you, I did this pretty one right here right? That was a long time ago and you’re back again.” the big, lovely African- American woman says.

“He just keeps getting me in trouble, what can I say?”, I reply.

“Like you weren’t there?” she says with one eyebrow raised. I laugh.

“Yeah, thanks Renee.” Jorge agrees.

Lucy, Jorge and I file into the dark room. Lucy would prefer to lay on the table with me except I barely fit on the table myself. “Scoot over, there’s room for her.” the older woman persists. I give in because there is no crossing Renee or Lucy for that matter. They understand each other even though the last time they met was when Lucy was only a shadow on the screen above.

We all stare in amazement at how busy this baby is. Jorge’s goofy grin returns, it’s the one reserved for all things baby.

“My, my, look at that.” Renee says.

“Spill it Renee, we’re dyin’ here.” I say.

She makes us wait as she spells our news on the screen. Girl. I instantly feel a camaraderie with Lucy and her sister. We are the girls now, equal in number to the boys. It’s all too cheesily perfect. I never walk in with preferences and I always walk out feeling that things are exactly as they should be. Everyone is especially giddy today.

“Oh wow!” Jorge says. I smile.

“I’m hungry mama.” Lucy says. “Didn’t you bring her some snacks?” Renee asks.

“I know, I know, I was too excited, I forgot.” Renee ignores me in deep effort to get her measurements. This baby girl is not cooperating. She is way too busy to stay still for pictures. The minutes pass and I gently urge her to be kind to Renee.

“Oh, she’s not gonna do it, she has too much goin’ on girl.” Renee insists. My girl stops for a brief second and Renee gets the shot. “I guess she’s listenin’ to you.”

We laugh, tell a few more stories, and gather our things to leave.

“You have a good Mother’s Day now. ” she instructs as we leave.

“Do you have any babies of your own Renee?” I ask.

“No, just these babies here…” she says.

“Well, that’s lots of motherin’, so Happy Mother’s Day to you….”

It’s just that some woman carry the motherin’ for us all. They call us out, they listen and nod, laugh when we are being ridiculous, they remind us of truth within, they remember the place we are in, they bring peace to our chaos, they are constant.

All the mothers in the world, so divinely placed, we honor you. Please feel our love and know we would be a puddle on the ground with out you. Of course, you would tell us we would be just fine.

And we are, just knowing you are there, in dark sonogram rooms, grocery store aisles, next door, a phone call away…

Blessings on your head.

8 Responses to “the sonogram mother…”

  1. Amy Says:

    g…i…r…l… I’ve got goosebumps. I was secretly hoping for an even score and a girl for little Lucy to love all over. big congratulations from one mommy to another.

  2. Amy Says:

    So excited that your new addition is a precious baby girl! It’s about time things were evened out in your household! 😉 Congratuations on another “it happens just as it should” moment! Happy Mother’s Day!

  3. kelly Says:

    oh god, patience. i am totally crying. could she be more perfect? she is so beautiful! it took my breath away seeing that perfect little person. i don’t know, sometimes i feel like surely i am not growing a person, but rather some awfully wriggly bean stalks or something. or fish, or piglets. but surely not a human being–that would be too big of a miracle! and then to see that little person on the screen makes it all so real. they have a head and a face and a spine and everything that makes a person. they have a human SOUL. and suddenly the months of puking feel not so cruel and the months i have to wait to see their face feel so long…

  4. Kristen Says:


  5. Anne Says:

    I love that I can hear your voice when I read your words! A girl, wonderful, way to even things up! Thanks for sharing your wonderful life in a small way. Anne S.

  6. YSJL Says:


  7. kristen Says:

    do you believe in magic in a young girls heart??? there is magic IN you!! may all the love of the universe wrap you in it’s embrace.

  8. Ragamama Says:

    Ah girls! We LOVE girls too! How darling she is already. Blessings on your head and belly.

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