the pregnancy pull over…

September 21, 2008

my view looking down, no more feet in sight

I was driving home from the country late on a Monday night. My friend Heather had just literally healed me (but that is a different post entirely) during a massage. I don’t know if you have ever been healed in your heart by a touch, a word, an act of kindness but there’s sort of a hazy feeling after. This can all be heightened by pregnancy (especially my particular brand) but I never thought it would get me in any kind of trouble with the cops.

I was on the highway almost to my exit when I noticed a police car following me closely.

Hmmm….I thought to myself. I’m not speeding, I’m totally legal. I even have my inspection sticker up to date, I’m straight. Whatevah! I kept driving and went right back to my thinking.

Now, I have been known to miss exits and be late to pick up children at preschool due to my deep thinking and if I’m very honest I have been in a few (a few is more than 3 right?) minor accidents in my day but still…

The lights go on. I’m baffled. I pull over. Both cops get out of the car, one checks my back seat and trunk with a flashlight and the other comes to my window.

I kinda laugh, there are 2 car seats and a bag of golf clubs in the trunk. The cop has a very intense look in his face, he is about eleventeen years old and very cute. Maybe 2 days out of the academy.

Cop: “Maam, do you have any idea why I pulled you over?”

Me: “I have NO idea, please tell me.” I say in my most upbeat positive voice.

Cop: “Are you feeling alright maam? You were swerving back there.”

Me: “Umm…yeah. I guess I was just deep in thought, ya know? I just had a massage, I probably should have had some more water after, maybe I’m not feeling that great? Oh, I don’t know.”

Cop: as he points the light closer to my eyes

“Are you sure you are okay?”

Me: “Well, I am pregnant.” (which really should explain everything)

He points the flashlight at my belly. I start to wonder if I look suburbia pregnant or crack mother pregnant as I remember the massage oil must make my hair look very greasy in his light. And who has a massage at almost 11:00pm at night? Oh dear, this is either very funny or very bad.

Cop: “Hold tight maam’, I’ll be right back.”

Me: “Sure.”

He eventually came back with one more flashlight look in the back seat. Looking for empty PBR bottles, Bud Light cans or needles I’m sure.

Cop: “Okay maam’, you are free to go. Just try to stay in your lane okay?”

Me: “Absolutely, no problem. Thank you and sorry!”

Only me, only pregnancy craziness and healing would make me a danger to my fellow driving citizens. Don’t worry my Richmond friends, I’m on my best driving behavior.

A pregnancy pull over, it’s one for the books…

3 Responses to “the pregnancy pull over…”

  1. Kristin Says:

    That’s hysterical!

    I had a Heather massage a week before Skye was born & it was amazing! I can see why you were swerving a bit with all that good energy moving throughout your body!

  2. nyjlm Says:

    ahh, that loose limbed post massage feeling- and on top of regular ol’ pregnancy loose limbs.
    I have tried to think of something useful to say on your supersisters post all day- alas, with my dd (baby #2) I went 16 days post dates and mostly glared at people all the livelong day. Hopefully you will not be waiting that long!

  3. Kelly Says:

    that is hilarious! I passed that story on to a friend who is ready to give birth to her 5th any moment and we had a good chuckle together.
    I have to know what the cop called in to dispatch when he went back to the car…lol

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