the baby within…

October 20, 2008

She isn’t my easiest baby. Screaming erupts when she can not feel my heartbeat. Her body is constantly close to mine, we are in the fourth trimester. I am tired and completely touched out but I hear myself saying over and over again in my mind, “but she is my baby.” I instinctively know how precious this time is and I’m willing to do almost anything for her.

It seems everyone feels this way as they look at Lyra in sheer adoration and wait patiently for their turn to hold her. I imagine what it must be like to be the object of such love. It’s like a puppy that never grows up.

My mom reminds me of the days when I was the baby before my younger sister came. My older sisters dressed me, sang songs and read books to me for hours on end.

We all had a time when every little cry was settled and every smile celebrated. A time when arms were all we knew. I can’t help but think there are still parts of us that are like a tiny baby, still needing such intense love to grow. These parts are longing to be cradled and nurtured. Some of us have given it to ourselves while others have screamed, cried and required it from those closest to us. Either way, we must not leave, ignore or put off the tiniest part inside for it is the most precious and deserves all the love it can hold.

10 Responses to “the baby within…”

  1. Amy O C Says:

    Oh how this reminds me of when I had Elijah and because of the fear of losing him.He and I both couldn’t stand to be apart…She will soon be running around, feel it and breathe it in, every minute i love you..

  2. Jenna Says:

    I am so grateful to connect with you and glimpse your world through this portal where you share your life with each of us. I know just finding time to write this and to post a new picture of your sweet Lyra is precious time to you. Do not feel a need to call or email when you are exhausted and just need some time, but know that you are all being thought of and we miss you. Take care of yourself in a time that when I am sure you have put yourself at the bottom of the list. Promise to let us know when we can do ANYTHING to help. Hope you can feel all the thoughts and love that are surrounding all of you, all the time. Love you!

  3. nikole Says:

    It’s so good to hear your “voice.” As always, I appreciate your wisdom and insight. Take care of yourself, wise mama. Love to you and your family.

    ps- she’s gorgeous!

  4. kate Says:

    you know us, babies…..we come out of the womb holding court.

    just think, she will probably be an independent kid. 😉

  5. jen lemen Says:

    love this so much pache. thank you.

  6. Mariella Says:

    Lovely….thank you for sharing such enchanting and beautiful insight. ~ M.

  7. Ann Says:

    She’s an incredible little person — so confident in her communication skills already! She totally charmed Peter the other night! Mark out your 100 days on the calendar and know that so much will have changed by then …

  8. Becky Says:

    so sweet to “hear” your voice about listening to sweet Lyra Grace’s voice. Thanks for sharing that still small voice within you. much love and may peace surround you in the coming weeks.

  9. tracey Says:

    how impossibly sweet she is. and what a lovely post. congratulations and love to you patience.

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