February 6, 2010
There was a minor crack in the snow bliss today…the snow being beautiful as ever but I was losing it. Maybe it was the stomach bug during the week or the 10th consecutive day inside or the push pull of toodlerhood and acrobatic nursing or the children literally tying each other up but whatever it was, I was way past the edge.
“I don’t want you to do it mom, papa can help us, you’ve had a hard day.” Jack said as he headed downstairs to get ready to play outside in the snow. This is how you know you have expressed all your annoyance too well…and you can’t exactly help it because it’s how feel, even if you don’t want to.
“Oh Jackie! It’s alright, I can help you.”
So we all went out at dusk, just when the snow stopped falling. While we can’t keep the lawn mowed in the spring, we are always the first on the street to have our sidewalks shoveled. The boys made snow angels, Lucy shoveled snow paths to nowhere and Lyra chased me while I tried to take pictures of the sparkle of snow.
This is everything you signed up for and didn’t all at the same time, the quiet snow falling over you like a blanket, the crazy strung out kids, the tiny birds finding shelter in our small tree, the thoughtful kind boy worried for the well being of others, the toddler who wants endlessly, falling apart with your partner and friend…a snowy night.