the school of hard knocks…
January 26, 2011
I’ve been attending the school of hard knocks faithfully lately. I’m trying not to get all Annie dramatic but I have been singing “the sun will come out….” in my head on occasion. There have been lots of experiences in the business/corporate world where wearing your heart on your sleeve and seeking connection ruthlessly are not exactly recommended. I feel like I am in a completely different country and fully aware I am a tourist.
The heart and truth of kindness are the same, but I am discovering some times kindness calls for a certain strength, it is one I am very unfamiliar with. It isn’t gentle or tender, it’s honest and direct…. all new for my soul, and new for the professional part of me. I’ve been stumbling around, picking myself apart to death, trying a million different ways to avoid it, trying to figure out where I went wrong with the old ways, but truth is, it’s kind of how this thing goes.
Every time I think I’ve got it locked down, something new is revealed to me. The frames of kindness have no end and it isn’t always easy. The dark side of kindness, the places that show us where we have been unkind to each other, or to ourselves are often the most difficult to look at, but also so close to the deepest part of ourselves that are calling for healing, courage, redemption… love.
When we stand there, we can begin to see it, in ways we never imagined, opening doors we never knew were there.
Kindnessgirl 
January 26, 2011 at 10:33 am
What’s that song–I get knocked down but I get up again…?
January 26, 2011 at 12:08 pm
Your wide-eyed, vulnerable sharing continues to be my sanity-restorer, a reason to smile, my moment to exhale the pent-up sigh of bumping into a lack of kindness…or realizing, sadly, that I have been unkind. Being a light worker aches sometimes, lots of times. I am so thankful for your light. Hugs.
February 3, 2011 at 8:02 am
oh julie….how i miss you. *sigh*
January 26, 2011 at 12:42 pm
I love that face. Be brave, sister.
February 3, 2011 at 8:02 am
thanks D! i’m tryin’ brother…
January 26, 2011 at 3:36 pm
I’ve been sitting in the row behind you at Hard Knocks school this week. Thanks for passing me this note…
February 3, 2011 at 8:01 am
ughhh, sorry to hear that. I’ll take one back anytime you wanna pass. 🙂
January 26, 2011 at 11:33 pm
I’m sorry you’re at the school of hard knocks. Sometimes, I think it’s necessary, but it’s still not much fun. I hope you graduate soon.
February 5, 2011 at 1:03 pm
so necessary…bleh. thanks for being here A.
February 1, 2011 at 8:28 pm
Patience, your writing style is so beautiful. I haven’t been on your blog in a while and I’ve missed it–so glad I jumped in for this post. Sorry about the hard knocks, but I’ve found they always make me stronger; hope they do the same for you. Hugs! Kate
February 5, 2011 at 1:05 pm
I think you are so right, stronger indeed. thanks K!
February 2, 2011 at 11:38 pm
so sorry you are having a hard time. your blog and your outlook always make me feel better!! thanks.
February 5, 2011 at 1:04 pm
that is encouraging to me julie…that makes ME feel better.
February 3, 2011 at 1:43 am
hard knocks are sometimes just gentle nudges in disguise. 🙂 It’s all about perspective…Be kind to yourself…you are lovely.
February 5, 2011 at 1:05 pm
true, true…lookin’ for the nudges now B!! thinking of you and your girl DDD’ing makes me so happy, you have no idea.
February 3, 2011 at 8:00 am
thanks friends for being right there with me…
February 3, 2011 at 9:48 pm
You are brilliant and shining and smart. I am so glad that you exist. I must say that I did not fully graduate that school of hard knocks you seem to be in right now. But I hope that you will and let us know the lessons learned. You have many supporters behind you, with you. Keep looking forward to your goal, whatever that might be, and don’t be distracted by the BS. You are on the right path. Kindness is always the way to go, girl!
February 5, 2011 at 1:01 pm
Donna! oh man, when any tells you that they are glad you exist?!! Thank you, thank you…so very kind of you. Looking forward to getting to know you.
February 20, 2011 at 3:35 pm
I can totally identify with this post. I tend to want to save the world and feel totally bummed when I realize that the business of helping people is just that..a business. I’m taking the first step, however, in a new direction–I’m becoming a nurse. I may still deal with doctors and insurance companies and generally grumpy people, but I know that I can share love with my patients, and no business can take those moments of caring away. ❤