letting go of struggle…
May 17, 2011
I’ve had a tight grip on struggle for as long as I can remember. I’m not really sure of all the reasons but maybe I felt like it on some level it should or had to be that way. It would mean I cared, or was working hard…I told myself it added to my value, or made me who I am. There were moments when all of that was (is) true but recently I’ve had a soft spoken voice in my heart and I am listening…the kind of listening you do when you are a little girl and someone reads or sings you to sleep, when your mind and heart want and are ready to rest.
It is kind and gentle, letting me know it might be okay to loosen the grip, ever so gradually…for fingers pressed white to fill with life blood, to feel what it is like to have hands start to unfold, for old callouses and skin to be nourished, to look, to see, to show, to even honor their work…to let something new fall into these hands.
It some times feels a little scary and awkward to walk around with tired, open hands, with nothing to hold on to…yet tender and good…and something is happening, that one thing I know for sure. Something.
Kindnessgirl 
May 17, 2011 at 10:00 pm
Mama, we soften, we become more of who we are with this loosening, no? Proud of you. 😉
May 18, 2011 at 12:34 pm
When our grip is so tight on one thing, it closes off opportunities for other things to fill and nourish us, and smooth off the rough edges.
You have taught me this very thing.
You, kindnessgirl, have taught me to let go of so many things and regroup and adjust as needed.
Thank you…
May 19, 2011 at 4:14 am
Leting go. So simple but so hard sometimes. I’m inspired to keep trying after reading this beautiful post. Thank you, Kindness Girl!
May 19, 2011 at 11:15 am
“for fingers pressed white to fill with life blood.” YES.
After loving and bearing 4 little souls into this world, maybe you deserve some time/space for yourself to play, relax and create. 🙂
Looking forward to who you become when you let go and TRUST.
take your time. 🙂