liamstein and all the things…
November 2, 2011
Liamstein
It was dark, pouring down rain and cold no doubt, but the kids just kept going. “The NEXT one!” Lyra would shout and on we went. Those kids sure worked for that candy.
Even in the dark, the kids were still coming together because nothing brings children together like Halloween, costumes and candy goodwill.
“What are you?” the small child, no older than three asked.
“I’m Frankenstein!” Liam answered.
“Who is that? A scary monster? the little boy said.
“Actually, he was no monster, he was gentle and very misunderstood.” his mother piped up.
All I could think about is how we are kind of all the things…
Written in 2008-
You are not so small to be just one idea, thought or emotion. You can be pissed and grateful, brave and scared, tired and hopeful, sad and yet full of joy…you can be all the things. There is space for all the hues, dark and light. When we try to be just one, we quiet something else.
Let it flow…and everything starts to make sense.
…maybe part monster, maybe part gentle soul, maybe part scared or misunderstood. This thought or concept has brought me so much comfort over the years and taught me so much about family life. It took me forever to figure out, my kids could be grouchy, or we could have a rough family outing and *I* could still have a good time…that I could be kind of annoyed yet still give myself permission to enjoy a moment or have my own experience entirely. It sounds small but was so big for me.
I have found myself in new ALL THE THINGS territory this week…somehow it spilled out onto forgiveness and conflict, which is so very hard for me. I don’t like being wrong because for so long I worked so hard at being “right”, thinking of it from every angle, trying so hard…making friends with my humanity has been a long struggle-caring so deeply, not wanting to think I have been unkind or thoughtless, those mistakes feel so deep for me. I end up justifying behavior or explaining a reason for my actions…when really I am still all the things.
I realized I can be sad, disappointed or even angry in a conflict and still own my part, be sorry. I can be wounded and make space to forgive or be sorry little by little, I can be wrong and a little bit right, I can honor each part. Then the light moves in, giving you the kindness you need for yourself, the kindness you can now offer. It doesn’t feel so big, so deep anymore…
…and once again kindness changes everything.
November 2, 2011 at 8:58 am
Very nice. And I love the ‘Kindness concept.’ To self, to others. I make it my mantra and when those occasional negative feelings/thoughts filter in then thinking key/motivational words such as kindness can be enough to get me back on track. This a very lovely site. Thank you!
November 2, 2011 at 9:03 am
Very nice. This is a lovely site. Kindness is a great word and one I often use as my mantra. When those occasional negative thoughts and feelings filter through. Thank you all who share, This site is a little bit of sunshine in our lives.
November 2, 2011 at 9:08 am
Ooops, I didn’t think my first post went through and as you can see I’ve ended up posting similar words. Kind thoughts please!! 🙂
November 2, 2011 at 9:13 am
I love the sentiment that we are “all the things.” So true. And so important to remember.
November 2, 2011 at 9:14 am
kindness to myself is something i struggle with…i love this way of looking at who i am. it helps to think of me as being light and dark…and that i don’t have to be wholly one way or the other. it feels so much more doable!!! thank you 🙂
November 2, 2011 at 9:14 am
How very true. Each and every one of us possess “all the things.”
November 2, 2011 at 9:16 am
And I see that I am not the only one who accidentally double commented this morning, thinking their first didn’t go through. Sorry, Patience. I am going to be kind to myself and go grab some coffee. 🙂
November 2, 2011 at 9:30 am
Yes! Being “all the things” is a concept close to my heart. Human life is complicated, it’s mixed-up, it’s multi-layered, it’s nuanced, it’s messy!
November 2, 2011 at 1:16 pm
Funny…I’ve got to double up on your sentiment, too!
http://allenharrelson.wordpress.com/2011/11/01/flower-prayer/
November 2, 2011 at 5:20 pm
Wow! This really touched me today. It just captures the essence of my being. Thank you.
November 2, 2011 at 11:22 pm
All the things. When those mistakes feel so deep, when we are not who we want to be all the time, shame has a way in. Have you seen Brené Brown’s work on shame and empathy? I believe kindness is a huge component to shame resilience. What a gift to your children to see – and hear and feel – you being all the things.
November 3, 2011 at 12:11 am
“Let it flow…and everything starts to make sense.” ❗
November 3, 2011 at 11:46 am
I carry this quote in my wallet!