5 things to do when doors are closing…

April 9, 2012

The doors have been closing lately, big doors…and the image my mind always returns to is Maria Von Trap (in The Sound of Music) sighing and say, “When God closes a door, somewhere he opens a window.” . I always end up at Maria or Mother Superior, this delights me so.

And a window may be opening, but I keep thinking and saying to the Universe, “Noooo, really, THAT one?”, because it doesn’t look anything like I thought or really what  I planned or wanted. There in lies the mystery of my life and the revelation that once again I am not in control of the world or parts of my path…and this is probably a really good thing. Right? or this is what I tell myself.

So on about the 3rd round of doors closing and after prior episodes over the years of freaking out, sucking it up or taking it in stride, I have come up with 5 things you can do if you don’t have The Sound of Music or a Reverend Mother in your life:

1. Let it be. Just let yourself be disappointed, sad, angry…don’t try to fight it. …but if you are one of those that is convinced your life is now over, cut that ‘Let it be’ time in half- literally set the timer because we know you will want to obsess and analyze.

2. Give it over. Often times, these disappointments are too big and exhausting for us to hold in the moment or long term. Find a ritual or someplace/thing to hold your worry, pain, fears, unknown, or the future. After one enormous disappointment (because I happen to be one of those obsessors) a few years ago, I was a total mess…the only thing that got me through was my kitchen altar candle. Every morning I woke up and wrote what I needed held on a tiny piece of paper, put it under the candle and lit it. The wax poured over the stack of papers and my heart. When I pulled them apart months later, I found the same message written about 100 times, I never even realized.

Worry boxes and jars are also great ideas, and releasing things into a body of water also happens to be magic for a tender soul.

3. Return to play. I always forget this step. What got you to the place to want this thing? This joy? Go back to the beginning. The simplicity of play unlocks a certain joy that fuels our hope and drive, and gives us a grounding to move forward. This is why children hold a wisdom and strength we forget as adults. Return to your love in that grown-up way, and if that wasn’t it or you aren’t sure what to do, I suggest these kid things- jumping on a bed, dancing, blow bubbles, swing, have a silly string fight, ride something fast, make simple art.

4. Do something Kind. There is a point where stepping outside of yourself or your situation is a really good thing. Sometimes we forget what is going on all around us, that we aren’t alone, or that there is another story or perspective we may find comfort in. I love anonymous kindness for such times because we can offer someone else the very thing we may need ourselves- and by some kind of magic we get it by doing this. It also helps to connect to do something kind for someone we know, making the face-to-face connection makes life real and clears our vision. If you need ideas, check out www.guerrillagoodness.com, or GG Facebook. Kindness changes everything… everything.

5. Gather the Love. Now is the time to gather the caregivers and believers. Calling in the hope and strength makes space and shares the burden. It invites a tribe of people to love you into a new place and be part of finding windows or opening doors, or even celebrating with you when the moment comes where everything makes sense after all.  To all my introverted friends, it may be people in smaller doses or in nature and books, there are many ways to gather the love.

In the words of a very wise Jen Lemen:

Whatever you do, hold on to Hope!

The tiniest thread will twist into an unbreakable cord.

Let Hope anchor you in the possibility that is not the end of your story;

that change will bring you to peaceful shores.

Okay, so if you STILL aren’t feeling better and just need a believer, text DOOR CLOSED to me today (from now until 9pm EST tonight 4/9) at (407) 900-KIND and I will text you back a really simple message of HOPE….or forget all that and just go find the The Sound of Music, you can’t go wrong with TSoM, ever.

18 Responses to “5 things to do when doors are closing…”

  1. This is a brilliant reminder, thank you ♥

  2. Kati Says:

    You, my friend, are an amazing soul. May all the open windows have the scent of a mountain breeze coming straight toward you… We should talk soon. xoxo

  3. Kelly Says:

    As always, you inspire. Thank you, my friend!

  4. Julie Says:

    Thanks so much for the Sound of Music reminder! One of my favorites as well. Giving it over is the hardest thing to do, but gives great peace.

  5. Jeri O. Says:

    Thank you Patience…I so so so needed this on this Monday morning! It’s so easy to get very focused on, and immersed in, what isn’t working, happening, opening. When that happens I also realize how little I’m laughing, how little I’m listening to music, how rarely I’m dancing. It’s also easy to forget that time passes and light always follows dark…always. Thank you for the reminder and the advice and the inspiration. xxoo

  6. Annie Delgado Says:

    Your advise and wisdom reminds me of Marianne Williamson. Nice advice.

  7. Lisa Says:

    Patience…. With each blog post i am more and more amazed by you and what you are doing. I forwarded this to many of my friends, who really need some hope, love and kindness. Good on you for reaching out and touching so many. Ni think you are a blessed person for doing this.
    May wonderful things come your way!!
    Many blessings,

  8. […] morning I read a post from Patience Salgado, also known as KindnessGirl, about 5 Things to Do When Doors Are Closing. Doors close on us all the time, whether we ready or not. Read her post, bookmark it, write the 5 […]

  9. Meg M. Says:

    Such a good blog. It’s so true about this blog, one door might close but there’s alway another.

  10. jules423 Says:

    Thank you Patience for your words of advice. Today didn’t start off so solid for me – but your words do help. Whatever your trials are today, let peace come your way as well – we have to help each other – blessings to all who come here. Jules

  11. greenstreetgirl Says:

    Love to you my friend….

  12. pathwriter Says:

    Reblogged this on pathwriter and commented:
    Such good/wise advice here I’ve experienced my share of closing doors in the last year and have had to work hard to “let it be” and “give it over”…but that’s exactly what you have to do if you’re ever going to move forward.

  13. Miriam Says:

    I just love this! I needed this reminder today–thanks, Patience!

  14. Bessie Says:

    I have a friend who was acutely aware that his future is going to change direction and he used this phrase that when a door closes a window opens, but I think his heart is processing how to accept the pending change and move forward. He has been hurting and I was talking to my Mom about sending him a care package and this post just gave me something tangible to share with him, your words and a copy of The Sound of Music sound like just the thing. Thank you for sharing your heart. I hope that the windows will open wide for you and that in time the reasons will be revealed to you and you will end up right where you were meant to be.

  15. […] And one of my favorite entries is about 5 things to do when doors are closing… […]

  16. butterfly effect :@ Says:

    hi! you are in my blogroll eversince, and i visit your site once in awhile and you are really inspiring…. actually, I share your blogsite in my blog, and post and link your site… hope you dont mind…. thanks…
    have a great day…


  17. Alyssa Says:

    Sweet, kind and wonderful! I love this entry, very motivating; in fact I love everything here in your blog. Thanks for the inspiration. 🙂

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  18. […] here’s a link I wish to share as well, written by a friend about 5 things you can do when doors are closing. (P, I have read this […]

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