i want you to know…

May 29, 2012

I want you to know…

you can crash and burn at trying to be brave and kind…and it’s okay.

it’s a different kind of bravery to decide to care for yourself or lick your wounds

being who we really are brings us much closer together than trying to be something we think we should be

your words and comments stay with me, I think it’s so rad when you guys talk to each other

I am more intense and less gentle than I thought

I am learning so much about myself right now, this is both marvelous and maddening

I am still not done writing notes of encouragement– this pains me everyday, I know people are waiting

I want to learn how to listen as an act of kindness

I am finding my way

This is coming soon, very soon from the soulsisters…and I can’t stop staring at it and holding it in my hands

we can be brave and kind together,

because kindness changes everything.

(and I hardly look like this picture, it’s a really good picture.) 

27 Responses to “i want you to know…”

  1. Cindy Tyra Says:

    I actually envy the journey you are on. Your journey to discover yourself. Some day…. when the world slow down, I may be able to start my own journey, but in the meantime, I am enjoying sharing your journey with you and all these other soulsisters! Blessed Be!

  2. jules423 Says:

    I also envy you your journey as I have been on such a negative one for the past three years and I so desperately need to turn it around into something positive and to find joy again. Your words do touch my soul. They give me “hope” that “everything will be okay.”

  3. Jen Bailey Says:

    I love that we can be all of it-the human experience of being both beautiful and terribly messy at the same time. It’s something I struggle with daily. But I breathe a bit easier knowing we all go through this, and that we are hopefully richer for it. I spent years mimicking other people, because I thought allowing myself to be “myself” was an abject lesson in failure and I wouldn’t be loved. I’m also still slowly filling in the puzzle pieces and allowing space for my joy and pain, my frustration and hope. I love reading about your journey and how wonderfully open everyone here becomes. This is a safe place for us. We are all baby stepping along the path of bravery and kindness.

    • kindnessgirl Says:

      we are baby stepping, aren’t we? ….and every time I read your comments Jen, I wish you had a blog- you are a beautiful writer.

  4. Annie Delgado Says:

    I enjoy your blog very much. It helps me to stay grounded. I enjoy seeing people being kind out in the streets of NYC. There are many out there. Kindness can spread when we are an example to those around us.

  5. Donna Koch Says:

    You are a diamond in the rough for me girl…and I mean rough in the hats we wear daily; in our efforts to be mom, wife, professional.; to be loved and accepted; to be super Mom, super-duper wife and mega-super professional. I seek constant affirmation that I are not messing up our kids, ignoring my spouse and carrying my weight (and others) in the office…I want clean rooms, well rounded kids, an understanding husband and a raise at work and someone, just anyone to acknowledge my efforts. I have a mouth like a sailor, yet cringe when I hear it out of one of my 4 kids; I want to be better at just listening, but I am rough around the edges. It’s hard to accept help from others, yet I feel the need to do it all; be there for all, and accomplish it all. I get discouraged and disappointed in myself when I fall short of the mark I have set for myself. The sad part is I know I put a lot of these “unrealistic” expectations on myself…there is no one telling me the world will end if I let a few “issues” bounce like a ball for just a bit instead of treating them all like glass in my life; rather than learning to juggle better, I watch them crash like glass. I get upset that I am not good enough or trying hard enough, lash out at others because of my own ineptness, and then sit back and lick my wounds for being such a crudy person who has such high aspirations that I always fall short of…
    and I do it to myself…and I just keep falling into the same trap. And I am not getting any younger; and my kids are slowly leaving the nest; and I wonder the type of role model I am setting for them…and sometimes I just want a do-over…

    and kindness really DOES change everything, and for that I bless you Patience!!

    • Cindy Tyra Says:

      You sound like me about 10 years ago. I thought I had to do it all. I was the sole breadwinner, the cook, the maid, the den leader, the soccer coach, the gardener, the handy man around the house, you name, I probably tried to do it. What did I get for all my hard work? I lost “ME”. It has been a long, hard road to find “ME” again. To this day, I still feel a little selfish when I take some “ME” time. I don’t know where the concept of super mom came from, but if she kept it up long enough, she is probably in a loony bin by now. It IS so wonderful to know it’s OK not to be perfect. It’s OK to have a bad day. It’s OK to dream of the day our home will only have empty nesters living there. We aren’t bad people for having those thoughts, and I’ll be the first to admit, having a cuss word here or there in these post, well… oh damn… makes it real for me. Thank you Patience for sharing your life, both the good and the bad, and for all you “Commenters” like me out there, keep it up. I LOVE THIS!

    • heather childress Says:

      Wow! This really hits home…..thank you.

      • janet lamont Says:

        A diamond in the rough..yes. We have so many hats to wear, and some of us have to be more than moms, wives, professionnals. some of us have disabled family members we are responsible for, and that just adds to it. Affirmation? You bet I need it. but, as you say, it comes, and usually just when you need it the most. If you are doing the best you can, and for me praying about things and asking for help from above is essential, you won’t be alone. Things work out for a reason, even if you don’t know the reason right now. Encouragement is so neccessary, and you are blessed to receive it. Hang in there! Be positive, and do positive things. Keep positive thoughts in your head, and remember, a smile is contagious! Good luck!

    • kindnessgirl Says:

      ohhhhh, SO much of what you wrote resonates for me Donna! You have no idea. Your brave honesty really holds the space for me to safely share my own struggles. So many times I often have to pretend no one is reading so I can really, really write but comments like yours help me access my own brave heart. So thank you my friend…

  6. TM Mitchell Says:

    Thank YOU for being who you are and for allowing us all to share in your journey. And thank you for letting us know that we, too, can be our authentic selves, as well. The love, support and camaraderie is overwhelming and welcomed with arms wide open. Quite simply….you rock!!!

  7. You’re such an amazing person, Patience! I’m so glad to have found your blog 🙂

    Listening is something I need to work on as well. I never really thought of it as an act of kindness but it totally is!

    • kindnessgirl Says:

      oh, it’s hard for me as I ALWAYS have some thing to say! 🙂 my friend Suzanne is teaching me a lot about this…I even have a mission brewing. thanks for your kind words!

  8. Nicolette Says:

    Thank you. Your words have helped me today.

  9. janet lamont Says:

    I am so happy I found your blog! three years ago the absolute love of my life abandoned me. I don’t drink or do drugs, so I spiriled into a deep depression. I saw your blog, and realized it was OK for me to grieve. It was OK for me to mourn the life I had but won’t have again, at least not with the same person. I decided to pick myself up and begin again. You have so many positive thoughts, and I have copied lots of them down and have them posted around my home. I know I am better than what I felt like these last three years. I know I will be a “whole” person again. I have practiced your acts of kindness, and they really work! I got ten of your Kindness Changes Things stickers, and have posted them randomly around for people to see, and hopefully, try. thank you so much for your positive affirmation that I am OK , not perfect, but enjoying the characteristics I have. (I am a little quirky!) You have made my life so much better!

    • kindnessgirl Says:

      Oh Janet, I love quirky so much! Thank you for sharing your story and being part of this sweet community. There is some thing about allowing grief that I am realizing brings healing, doesn’t it? What a strength you have to have found your way….and your comments make MY life better, so thank you.

      …and send me some pics of where those stickers end up…Suzanne and I love seeing them out in the world!

  10. Katelyn Boisen Says:

    You are a lovely, inspirational, and soulful woman. You’re doing wonderfully- keep going!

  11. pathwriter Says:

    It’s okay to crash and burn. You can’t keep putting yourself out there without giving yourself time to take something back in, to fill your own tank, so to speak. As for the notes of encouragement, don’t fret about them. They will arrive at their destinations at exactly the time they are needed. I had forgotten all about mine, and then one day, there it was, and the timing was perfect. I wrote about it here: http://pathwriter.wordpress.com/2012/05/05/special-delivery-from-kindness-girl/ The kindness work you are doing is so special and wonderful, Patience…just be sure to be kind to yourself, too. 🙂 Viki/pathwriter

    • kindnessgirl Says:

      ohhhh, thank you so much for saying that V! I am glad your note came at the write time…and it was so great to see your creative space and imagine you in it!

  12. […] kindness… It chronicles one mum’s ideas, projects and actions of kindness…. Ms. Patience Salgado must have a very big heart and she inspires so many people. BEING kind by itself is one thing but […]

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