madonna, the divine mother and reinventing my faith…

August 25, 2006

my sister and i were talking on the phone the other day when i was telling her that i just felt like the divine mother or whoever was trying to tell me something. this made her chuckle and smile i’m sure. “oh, i love that, the divine mother.” she said. “i know, right?” i said.

we’ve been calling him, or um her that ever since. it’s who the divine is to us this week. maybe it will change next week, who knows. the conversation instantly reminded me of madonna. i mean who can go from material girl to like a prayer to justify my love to knitting mother to kaballah queen? somehow that woman pulls it off like whoever she is in that moment is exactly what she should and the rest of the world should be too. she owns the room, the music, even the future reinvention…and i don’t even really like madonna.

my faith, my god, is forever being reinvented in my head.
i went from this god i desperately want to please and pray he loves me back
to
maybe he doesn’t care so much about me trying so damn hard
to
the god that isn’t even about that shit anyway
to
god must be about loving the world
to
mother theresa and saving the world in my own way must be the god i am about
to
maybe god is like the divine mother whose lap you crawl into. she strokes your hair while you cry…she gently calls you out to do the things you are afraid to do. she whispers the truth of her deep love for you at the moment when you feel the most alone. she reminds you how strong you are and how her dreams for you are so much greater than you can ever imagine…

this is my god, she’s my favorite by far. i feel safe in her arms, i want to hear her voice…

come to me divine mother….reinvent my faith again.

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One Response to “madonna, the divine mother and reinventing my faith…”

  1. chris Says:

    I was pondering your post this morning while I was running (by myself…man I miss SEAL team!). I think what you say about being reinvented is true. I once heard someone say that if we are not moving forward we are moving backward.

    As I think about reinvention for myself, it feels like God is reinventing me – through suffering, growth, time spent in prayer/reflection/meditation, etc. Yet, I drag my feet kicking and screaming because I get comfortable with where I am and I fear change and growth – i fear reinvention.

    I admire the way you actively seek that reinvention, your attempting to meet God in the whole sanctification process. Your authenticity and seeking encourage me. Thanks for the thoughtful post!


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