kindness 101…it starts with you

March 8, 2008

Ever so often I have this fantasy of running off to a hotel for a few days. In my head it’s 5 star, of course. I order an offensive amount of room service and lay around all day in the yummiest robe my skin can imagine. I lose the terry heaven only for massages and candle lit baths.

The Jefferson isn’t exactly in my budget these days but this can not keep me from practicing acts of kindness upon myself. A 3 star hotel courtesy of Priceline (at a third of the price) and Panera’s portabello/mozarella pannini does the trick for me.

My friends laugh- “You’re what? You’re in a hotel, by yourself, in our city?”

Yes! Gloriously, yes! 24 hours of silence, a dark and cool room, a ridiculously long hot shower, a large bed by myself, uninterrupted reading, listening only to my own needs…this is exactly what mothers of young children need.

Don’t have the money you say? One time after a particularly horrific night with Lucy I called a dear friend with a large house.

“Hey, I had the crappiest night with Luce. I desperately need a hotel night but I have no money. Can I come take a nap in your guest bed?”

This dear friend couldn’t be happier that I called. She picked up lunch for us, I took a 3 hour nap and she brought me tea when I woke up.

So my friends, here are some kind ideas for you:

Nature Escape (a low cost option):

Start with a long walk in your favorite nature spot. This is one of mine…

Find a nice spot and practice some form of creativity (draw, sing, knit, paint, etc) or just lay in the sun (rest, read)

Meet your favorite friend for lunch on a outdoor patio somewhere yummy…

Find a friend’s house you can retreat to for a nap, girlfriends without kids are best…or go home, I bet your mom will let you sleep in your old bed that is now the guest room. A nap in a lumpy bed is still inviting.

This retreat is great for mom’s who can’t be gone too long or have nursing babes…

Hibernating Heaven (a moderate cost option):

Book a hotel room in your favorite part of your city.

Download a few of your favorite movies or pick up some DVD’s to watch on your lap top.

Buy snacks, good chocolate, and silly magazines.

Bring your bathing suit just in case you want to take a dip in the hot tub.

Check-in as early as you can. Spend the afternoon napping and relaxing.

Invite a friend to join you at the hotel for a take-out/delivery dinner and watch a cheesy girl movie.

Take a soak in the tub/whirlpool and turn in early.

Order room service for breakfast, leisurely pack up and head back to the real world.

The Whole She-Bang (a lot of bananas):

Mix an experience w/ rest.

My sister swears by Portland, OR– this artsy, funky city has the best markets, dining and culture for the best get-a-way.

My heart, well actually stomach, adores Miami. Digging your feet in the sand, the best people watching and yummy dinners and mojitos at Versailles, you’ll never want to leave.

Immerse yourself in the biggest nature…the California Redwoods, The Grand Canyon, Yellowstone, any coast….nature is powerful and almost always good for the soul.

If all of this sounds completely out of your league- way more than you can give yourself at the moment or too frivolous for you, start small…a new book, good shampoo, a movie by yourself.

This requires effort and intention on our part and it always doubles our ability to extend kindness to others.

Leave your own suggestions of self love in the comments…it’s good to be kind.

2 Responses to “kindness 101…it starts with you”

  1. Ragamama Says:

    Wow! That’s just what a Ragamama needs. On easter I will be dining with my best friend Marie at our favorite french restaurant Cafe Degas (, in mid city New Orleans, then we will head down to the French Quarter for Cafe Au Lait and Beignets at Cafe Du Monde, ( on Decatur. I will only have one baby with me so this still counts. I hope.

  2. Chris Says:

    Hello…I came here from somewhere but now I don’t remember. Nevertheless, I’m glad I found you. lol. I will be taking myself to a hotel close by next week for the night. Just to get away. I am going to do everything you said to do, too. I’ve planned this awhile ago and my hubby is all for it. My two boys, ages 8 and 11, think I’m going without them because I’m mad. I’ve been giving lots of hugs and kisses to reassure them but they still can’t believe I’m doing it. They’ll be just fine. I’ll be even MORE fine!

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