Kindnessgirl

My friend Kristin reminds me every once in a while of the way things used to be. People living in tribes and villages, or your grandmother living down the street, an adopted auntie who buys you new pajamas every christmas.

While I’m sure this made life complicated due to many an annoying old elder or mother-in-law, these are also the same people that pass babies around and cook for you. Besides, there were always adopted sisters/friends to complain to. This is the tribe. People that circle when you face something hard, everyone offering what they have to get you through. People, families, communities, the world, just work better with them. In fact, we need them more than we know.

Because of my own little urban village, I have discovered new parts of strength I didn’t really know about before. I always knew it was within but it’s the gathering and offerings that have brought me to a new place of understanding.

Strength is found in tiny exchanges of love. It’s been given in small ways, I hold it in my hand for a little while until it’s gone and then someone else hands me another tiny pile.

It’s a neighborhood friend that accepts your two-year-old’s blueberry offerings every single time, even after she’s eaten 57,000. It’s sitting next to your partner for 8 hours while he lets you tweak the minutia of your new blog. It’s lounging in the pool with a sister until your toes are like raisins, because you have exhausted every topic of family annoyance. It’s short e-mails from a friend reminding you everything is going to be okay, and you believe her because she’s been to dark places. It’s a phone call from a wise woman who tells you to listen to mother mary and let it be.

And I feel stronger until I am weak again, the villagers keep passing the piles until I won’t need them anymore. and then I’ll hand them to someone else, until everyone is strong…