sleep is your friend and other middle of the night conversations…

August 27, 2008

It’s 3:53am.

Five of the six people in our house are wide awake. Me, Jorge, Jack, Lucy and baby girl in belly.

We have had a variety of insomnia at our house recently…pregnancy, kid, life stress….none of which is good for anyone. It hasn’t helped that we have been running a frat house all summer either. People up all hours with no bedtimes and routines. The mavericks in us are perfectly fine with this arrangement but the parents in us know it will catch up with us at some point. Tonight is the night.

If you just mention the word “bed” to Lucy she begins to wail loudly.

“I don’t wanna go to bed!!!” She fights sleep with everything in her tiny body and let me tell you, there is A LOT of power there. She went to bed at decent hour but woke around 3:30 and insisted she didn’t want or need to sleep.

Reasoning with her is near impossible but my tired brain started to believe it might be an option. And crazy things happen in the middle of the night. Things are said, conversations had that just can’t be in the light of day…

Jorge, Lucy and I sat on the couch in the dark.

Me: Luce, sleep is your friend.

Lucy: (while wailing) What!?

Jorge: Sleep is good Luce. (very gently)

Lucy: WHAT???!!! (like we are crazy)

Jorge: Sleep is good baby…

The exchange goes on back and forth getting quieter each time until it has become almost a whisper, a mantra is born. She finally buries her head in his chest and he whispers words of safety and kindness that I can barely hear.

He holds her and I slip away to climb in bed with a very awake Jack. I close my eyes but there are more middle of the night conversations to be had.

Jack: (in a whisper) Mom, do you know sometimes when you have a baby another kid can get left out? …because the baby is so cute.

Me: Oh no! Did that ever happen to you?

Jack: No, I don’t think so.

Me: Are you worried it could happen to you this time when our baby comes?

Jack: No.

Me: Do you think it could happen to Lucy?

Jack: maybe…

Me: There’s something you should probably know then. There is A LOT of love in our family. There is enough love for everyone…papa, me, you, josiah, lucy AND our baby.

Jack: yeah, I thought so.

Me: oh good, do you think you can rest now?

Jack: yeah…

Why is is that so many little thoughts creep in at night? Doubts and fears…things that weigh in the back of our minds. But there is so much beauty and quiet to the night making it the perfect time to sort things out, give things up…find love in the whisper.

6 Responses to “sleep is your friend and other middle of the night conversations…”

  1. ginevra Says:

    how sweet and a little sad that we all get worried at night! my dad calls that “the thinks”.

    so sweet that Jack is looking out for the whole fam. πŸ™‚

  2. nikole Says:

    guess who else was up at 3:52 am πŸ™‚

    thank you for a beautiful post

    sending lots of love your way…

  3. kate Says:

    i’m just incredibly grateful that i am doing something right enough that the love each other no matter how frustrated with us

  4. kate Says:

    so, i have forbidden myself to read your blog while at work or class. because i think of lucy being stubborn or jack being thoughtful and i read all the loveliness that is my sibling….and i cry.

    then everybody is like, “why is katie crying?” then we have to have a big group meeting because you know us bureaucrats love to waste time and tax dollars to talk about our “feelings”.

    you could totally be a psych nurse, just so you know.

  5. Ann Says:

    Sleep is your friend …
    I love this story! And I just love dear Jack.

  6. Gina Says:

    Oh Patience,
    Being your friend is like walking through parenting Disney world… there is magic and wonder everywhere. I learn so much from reading your posts and listening to your stories about your kids. Thank you for offering yourself so fully to all of us. I learn so very much.

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