the raw you…

March 16, 2009

self portrait

I really, really do not like pictures of myself. I always look at them and think, “Oh, I hope I’m cuter than that, yes, I’m definitely cuter than that.” And then I put it on the muppet-o-meter in my head. I have a sort of muppetesque looking quality to me but I measure each picture in my mind, “Hmm, yep, at least I don’t look too much like a muppet in that one.” The silly games I play in my head…

But for some reason I love this self portrait. I’m not exactly sure why but maybe because I think it might be one of the truest pictures I’ve ever taken. I look a little raw, and weathered, a little old. And I am, but suprisingly it’s okay. Each one of those tiny wrinkles came from love. From dark and joyous places, from living, from trying, from growing. There is nothing to cover, at least not today…

8 Responses to “the raw you…”

  1. Amber Says:

    I saw that picture someplace else first – maybe Flickr? Anyways, my first thought was that it was such a lovely photo. I’m glad you’re able to embrace this one, too.

  2. jeroldssis Says:

    You are stunning. Truly. And getting to know you through your blog? Well, that just makes you down right gorgeous. You rock, girlfriend!

  3. Kristin Says:

    Oh Patience, you’re gorgeous inside & out – truly.

  4. Jennifer Says:

    The “raw you” touches me deeply every time…I’m the block of cement that wants to be a garden, and you are one of the many hammers and chisels trying to help. And your photo is gorgeous, too. 🙂

  5. becky Says:

    beautiful you…
    through and through.
    so true.

  6. Linni Says:

    Dear Kindness Girl,
    I just stumbled upon your beautiful blog…was looking to find a photo of you…and you are BE.AUTI.FUL!
    When I look at this specific photo…I see…
    a little bit tired…:-) (being a mama of 3 that can happen)
    oh! and kindness…

    Don’t want to sound ‘cliche-ish’…but your words changed my world tonite! Totally! xx

  7. […] last weekend. The experience left me wishing I had been on Sesame Street. I think I would have fit in perfectly with the […]

  8. Talwinder Says:

    Bman, in addition to ulagiltrhts and light sport aircraft, sailplanes are a nice way to go in some areas. Down here in AZ, you can join a club with reasonable annual dues and sign out an aircraft to fly pretty much whenever you want. Sailplanes have a faster learning curve than powered aircraft, and experience flying sailplanes translates well into powered aircraft. You can also fly those things all day here in AZ not a drop of fuel required after release from tow.For me, flying has always been more about being in the air and less about going from point to point. In my Air Force days, I soloed in a sailplane. I was about to solo in a plane before I stopped the powered lessons (medical red tape at the time). I switched to hang gliding (referred to as free flight or foot-launched flight) for quite a few years, and that was really more my style. I liked carrying my aircraft on my back (~60 lbs) and storing it on a ladder rack in my garage. I liked understanding every single bolt on my aircraft, and I liked being able to do a truly complete pre-flight check. I liked being able to buy a brand new aircraft for less than the cost of a used car. I especially liked the feeling of complete and utter freedom while in the air. I was not in the aircraft, I WAS the aircraft. No claustrophobic cockpit. What a feeling to thermal up over 13000 feet and fly over the back of a majestic mountain range.I gave up the hang gliding when I nearly killed myself on a steep mountain launch. For those of you that don’t believe in God a near death experience followed by a miraculous save all the while KNOWING that God was in the glider with me that day would have cured me from a lifetime of atheism. I would like to emphasize that the incident was completely due to pilot stupidity, and I believe hang gliding is inherently safe as long as you are properly instructed, current, and flying within your capabilities.I still think about free flight often and long to be back in the air. I have a little powered harness that converts a hang glider into a foot-launched ultralight, and I might one day take to the skies again.

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