love lane and lists…

June 17, 2009


I traveled down a love lane with a soulsister this week, hers, not mine. She gave the gift of reflection via photos to her man to celebrate 14 years together. We put a gaggle of kids in the car and drove to the places where it all began. I listened to stories of livin’ on love with just a hibachi grill and a cooler big enough for a 12 pack. No refrigerator, no air conditioning…just hot city summer nights with a table pulled out on the sidewalk.  Romantic dinners by candlelight and the neighborhood kids wandering in and out of the light to see what real love looks like. and maybe grab a piece of garlic bread. 


The tiny place where the view of the city goes on forever was where he asked her to be his partner forever, the secret garden where promises were made to care for each other no matter what, the bright yellow house where babies were made and  born in a tub of  water filled with joy and welcome, we sit at each place and take it all in. I turn to her, we laugh, the dreamy in overload.


“But what about the inbetween?” I ask.  What about working hard at a job you care about with little pay, what about postpartum hell, what about all the need of the little people around you, how did you find your way to each other then?


We exchanged stories of deeper love then, like the old cracked and tired houses we drove to. You find yourself in the same place you started. Staring at the simple truth before you- that no matter what happens,  love rests at the bottom. And you choose each other over and over again…forever.

I went home and sat next to Jorge feeling in the inbetween place. Wondering how he could choose me after being tired, pissy, annoyed, drained for the better part of the last year. And we sat quiet, I started typing our own love lane list since we are far from our beginning place. 

Things that are great about US

and we wrote and wrote and wrote, it flowed so easily. And I thought about Hobie beach in Miami, and the sunset that day, the place where it all began…and so it goes.

11 Responses to “love lane and lists…”

  1. Amber Says:

    I think maybe going back to the beginning is good for all of us sometimes. Otherwise you forget, you lose sight of where it started and why you’re here. Thanks for the reminder, Patience. 🙂

  2. Jen Lee Says:

    This post totally meets me right where I’m at. Thank you.

  3. debbie Says:

    Ah! Three years of graduate school behind us, three more to go…girl, we are IN that in-between place, with two babes orbiting the madness. This was good to read as we stare down sixteen years of Us this week! Beautiful photos and what a nice journey for you and your soulsister…

  4. Kristin Says:

    ooh, i love this post. happy anniversary to christa & christian & thanks for the reminder to honor the in-between as much as the beginnings & high points.

  5. Em Says:

    I love the phrase “the in-between” and the images it conjures.

    You and Jorge are so very fortunate to have found one another.

  6. Anne Says:

    wow, I do love reading your words-I can hear your voice with all of its hope, love, nurturing life as it comes to you. thank you.

  7. Nan Says:

    So easy to lose sight of the US when life is swirling around us. It feels so good to land and reflect.
    Awesome post – 2 awesome couples. Lots of love.

  8. Jess Says:

    *sniff* I’m feeling so inspired by the way you describe your friend and yourself! Time to get back to feeling inspired by my own romance. Thanks for the nudge.

  9. Christa Says:

    Thank you dear friend….for traveling down that love lane with me….and what a sweet trip it was…. for all of us. Remembering the simple things and where everything began will sustain us…..
    So here’s to beginnings, the in between and the love that’s underneath it all.
    love, love, love, c.

  10. Jennifer Says:

    This is a lovely essay… your words are able to express love so sweetly and deeply.

  11. Ann Says:

    Love. That’s what it’s all about. At the beginning, the in-between, and at the end. Beautiful post, my dear!

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