Kindnessgirl

her: Do you wanna pick flowers with me?
me: yes!

Is there ever a time when I do not want to pick something, anything? Hardly anything grows in our yard except long grass, so long that we are “those neighbors” on the street. Yet Lucy and I have 2 flowering trees, I don’t even know what kind but various times through out the year something  is blooming or trying to…and we will pick what ever it is. She sings, warbles off key like Snow White while I listen and smile.

It is deep in her, the joy of seeing something beautiful and taking part to carry the joy to a new place that is longing for something fresh.

so we pick…and I find I don’t want to do much else these days…except maybe…

text Josiah all day long as we unlock a whole new level of conversation and connection

laugh at Lyra’s animal sounds as they are the most wonky you have ever heard

dance with Jack in the living room to the silly fireflies song

wander the thrift store for pretty (and insanely cheap) dresses to wear to fancy parties 

take more and even more pictures making me feel less like a photography poser every day

make lemon bars and worship how delightfully addicting they are

sit in the sun by the river watching kids deeply immersed in the bliss of nature

go ding dong ditchin’

hold smooth river rocks in my hand

getting up with the sun to pick strawberries

dream up new short videos I want to make

eat roasted veggies, fresh fruit, something cheesy and finish with sweets for every meal

try to forget, think, let go of half of all that is in my head

be held

…and another week goes by that I’m out of touch, not keeping up, behind…no kindness revolution, no book writing, no speaking, no networking, doing nothing that all the movers and shakers are religiously doing to build empires…sometimes I worry if it will all still be there but then I see a berry, hear the little girl warble, get a new idea and feel the ground move, cracking open to reveal even more…more trust, more magic, more faith to follow all that is right before me.

I’m discovering I can take pictures or write, but not both at the same time. My brain has lost all ability to string words together to create meaning, so I’ve been taking lots of pictures…and settling down into family life. There are kindness projects in the works and new learning that is spawning some big plans I can’t wait to share but for now it’s been a week of cats, sticking my foot in my mouth and family friendship.

The tiny cat strolled up to our door on Monday night. The kids were out of their minds and played with him for hours. I suddenly turned into my mother or father yelling, “Absolutely NOT!” out the window.
“Please don’t say you are nervous about the cat!” Lucy wailed, “You can’t be nervous about it!”
“I am Luce, I am nervous no one will take care of this cat, like no one takes care of the dog.” I replied.
“We can get rid of the dog mom!” she said. Like this will solve my problem.

The cat disappeared as quickly as he came leaving everyone devastated, until Friday. It was a sign, he was back, even I was warming up to him. He was a nice little cat. The kids named him Silver…and 42 minutes later our new neighbor came over.
“You met my cat!” she said cheerfully as four tiny faces fell. “His name is Monkey!”
“oh.” was the collective reply.
I liked Silver better.

This article got me into a heap of trouble this week. It was written pretty impulsively, completely off the cuff yet kind of honest. I mentioned a question I had in my head (when we were considering our school options years ago) about homeschool kids being a little weird, but wondering if it was a “good” weird.
Oh, to try to get my foot out of my mouth on that one was near impossible. Who wants to be called weird, and even worse who wants their kid to be called weird?!!! I know, I know. The stereotype was perpetuated, feelings hurt, it was a disaster. No sooner than I hit the send button on my e-mail, did my life instantly become a homeschool experiment. The universe is funny that way.

The truth is lately we have been considering the homeschool option more than ever, my son Josiah is practically begging. I think my own fear of if-we-do-this-will-it-make-my-kid-weird feelings are in overdrive. Throw a little ignorance in there and you have a recipe for disaster. Please forgive me homeschoolers and please feel free to share your own thoughts and fears about homeschool before you took the plunge in the comments.

I don’t know or think we will do it for 322 other reasons but the whole drama ignited a little fire in me to be present with my kids in a deeper and more meaningful way. Let’s just say we are gently exploring…barely, maybe.

Josiah, Jack and I were all up at the crack of dawn on Sunday morning when I decided to make pancakes.
“Can I help?” Jack said.
“Sure!” I replied.
“Can it be like a lesson mom?” He asked. (we have been having “get some manners” lessons at dinner because I realized the children are practically babarians. The kids strangely love them, it’s like cotillion, Salgado style, without the debutants)
“Yes! We are doing pretend homeschool, on the weekends, but not, really.” I answered.

They both cheered and we went on to make pancakes and let the math, science and measuring goodness unfold. There was SO much pancake pride floating around, you could feel it in the air…and smell it. Surprisingly, they are MUCH better at making them than I am, especially after I explained that there is a pancake dud in every batch (3 or 4 in my case).
I instructed everyone to have recess after we were done which was a wild hit. Oh homeschool, you are lovingly weird and maybe partly wonderful…

Every once in a while, Jorge will do something so incredibly sweet and endearing that I’m literally speechless and this covers any assholery the man has ever committed. It is usually delivered in a quiet, round-a-bout way. This week he came home and up the stairs and laid 2 small bracelets on the bed.
“I got somethin’ for you.” he said “Give me your hand.”
It was a brightly colored bracelet like the kind we made in the 6th grade.
“What is this?” I said as he tied the neon red, pink and purple bracelet around my wrist.
“It’s a friendship bracelet.”
I instantly was returned to puppy love and girlhood. I went downstairs to get the kids ready to go out and realized he gave one to everyone in the family. I’m telling you, family friendship is where it’s at people…wonder twin powers activate.

and so goes another week in this crazy and beautiful life…

she whispers in my ear:

don’t tell the boys but the girls are rock and roll, that’s you and me…and maybe papa if he doesn’t tell the boys.

take this flower, we are rock and roll…

on my 10th mother’s day there was…

a field of purple wild flowers

a cool breeze for early morning strawberry picking

handmade presents made with such care

a needy baby

a family video expressing thanks and love

a touch of sadness

a new altar complete with a family rock we found at the river

our wishes written on the rock for spring

a sick papa

an inbetween feeling of happy, tired, weary and very,very loved

I missed this little guy’s entrance into the world by 10 minutes because his mama was so incredible and suprised us all! Thank you Alexis and David for being so understanding and allowing me to hang around to capture those first sweet moments…I’m still in awe of you all.

As women, there is a space and moment where we sit knowing, seeing,  feeling all that is before us… bringing life into the world, surrendering every last inch of our bodies, facing our biggest fears, unlocking a whole new part of ourselves, stepping into becoming, the beginning of being …and in the most intense place, or in the total bliss, there she sits. She is “with woman”…a midwife.

Letting it unfold, helping us find our way, guarding our bodies, space and safety, believing in the power of women, babies, and in being completely invested in the most amazing part of our humanity.  So this day, May 5th, we invite you to honor Midwives around the world.

Join OmMama as we give our offerings of kindness to Midwives for Haiti on behalf of the great joy it is to both hold the space for women everywhere to know this kind of love and care that midwives offer and learn all our Haitian friends have to teach us about togetherness and birth.

If you would like to celebrate, join us this Saturday at the Oh Mama! Birth and Baby Fair at the Lewis Ginter Recreation Association from 10am-2pm.

*I will be offering a mini-photography session for baby/kids at the raffle, digital copies included. Hope you can make it!

It’s almost here…my sisters and I over at www.PBSParents.org are getting ready for the Supersisters Great Day of Gratitude on May 5th to show our appreciation to teachers across our country.

Now is our chance to say “Thanks!” to teachers, librarians, administrative staff, crossing guards, and janitors for all they do and how they care for our kids. You can even be sneaky about it. We just went to pick strawberries so we thought our teachers might enjoy some fresh picked goodness to go along with our thanks. We folded paper boxes and made signs that said “Thank You Berry Much!” which the kids thought was hilarious.

If you plan to join us, share your pictures of your gratitude projects on our Flickr Pool.