Kindnessgirl

I do this little thing, I police happiness. I have my entire life, hoping people are enjoying themselves, holding and feeling their emotions if they are not, trying to figure out how to fix it, make it right, and on and on…it is exhausting. Big family helps to cure this in you. It is just so hard to get 6 people in a good mood, all want to do the same thing, and enjoy themselves…all the time. I fired that officer, she needed to retire anyway.

I learned in 2010 that sometimes…

you are willing to do something for someone you love and not exactly be thrilled about it
you don’t have to be responsible for the feelings of the world
grouchy and sad are good, they show us what we need and help us grow/change
our highs are as great as our lows
when your 5 year old tells you “You are one grumpy girl”, it is so good to feel no guilt and even a smidge of pride/satisfaction
you can love your shadow side
we need to let all the parts of our selves out and be seen to be whole

So our entire vacation I have wanted to go hiking by the river with my family. There is a serious woodsy girl in me always wanting to get out. I take the kids lots in the spring and summer, it’s all very Maria Von Trap, if you will. I knew that the cold, dead of winter might be a stretch but I still had the movie vision in my head (like always), we all know the Captain was grouchy for like at least half the movie.

There we were, it was cold, the leaves icy and slippery, the river in all her beauty and parts were just lovely. However, I will tell you…there was some whining, a shoe in the water and even a very bad snowball-to-the-face incident, but I felt happy in my heart my friends. There is some kind of major freedom in letting go…and being deep in it all and yet be able to find your own joy, even in the grouch.