breakdowns, breakthroughs and O Magazine…

September 11, 2011

Kindnessgirl makes the October issue of O, The Oprah Magazine! I know, holy heck!!

About a year ago almost right at this time, I was a giant puddle on the floor. I was struggling so deeply with my kindness work, well, not my kindness work, just myself. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get out of my own way. I knew this work and way of life was meant to be shared and become a community in a new way but I was stuck. So many fears, mostly of being seen, being afraid of the power of it all and my long list of inadequacies, petrified of putting my heart and self completely out there, trying to figure out a way to do it safely. The big truth was, there was no safety, and deep down I knew it and then I sort of melted.

Sometime after that, I just started to find little bits of courage, to peel back the layers and be this sort of beautiful mess that I am in my head and heart. Slowly but surely, I could see I was always meant to believe and stand in this work fully, and just be the girl I am. Over and over again, like a broken record, I told myself that was all I had to do…live my life, follow each idea, call and say the words I know and am learning about kindness…and let kindness lead the way.

So, and I can’t even tell you how…but here I am. All I know is that I feel whole when I am in each moment of kindness, even the broken kind. A million of these moments, all added up and pieced together are the joy of my life. …and maybe my some kind of Wonderful. So I guess it was my breakdown that brought my breakthrough…and now to be seen and get to share my work and life in the O Magazine* is humbling, incredibly humbling…that despite myself, kindness finds me again.

If there is something hiding around in the back of your mind or heart, now is the time my friend. Everyone is just waiting for the goodness you are holding, it’s bigger than you anyway…it’s time. Anything, anything is possible…

and from the home front:


The lovely thing about children is that they have no idea or really care that you are in O Magazine, Lyra thought the mag would make a good hat. …or the lovely elderly woman we asked to take our picture with the magazine at Barnes & Noble was more concerned that I know my husband was very handsome and I should be nice to him…and she said she was too old to take any pictures. We ended up talking about her life for quite a bit…it couldn’t have been more perfect.

Lucy was obsessed with putting this bouquet together from the backyard garden flowers for the host of the football party we were late for. …and then I came home to this, I had been ding-dong-ditched by my good buddy Nora- with a picture of all the people on our street. And all the excitement over O and everything simple and true just sort of mixed together, and that felt so right. So very right.

So I have some things for folks to do to get their kindness going very soon, but until then, if you would like to know more, the guerrilla goodness page is a nice place to start, and here are a few stories about us finding our way…

Kindness is Magic

Sitting in Kindness

Of Mice and Lice

The Cycles of Great Kindness

If you think we should be Facebook friends or TwitterΒ geeks together, please friend or follow, it would make my day!

And now about you…please tell me what has melted you this year in the comments, I’d love to hear.

*very special thanks to Joan Tupponce for writing the article and to Judi Crenshaw for sharing my story. ..and to my dear friend Meghan McSweeney for taking my picture in the article! Β SO much gratitude to you all!

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49 Responses to “breakdowns, breakthroughs and O Magazine…”

  1. Melissa Says:

    you inspire me! Congratulations! Can’t wait to see the magazine. Lauren misses seeing you. You inspire her also! πŸ˜€

  2. Heather Says:

    Oh my goodness! Very exciting and think of all the people who will be inspired by what you do. I’ll keep my eye out for when that issue hits Australia, but meanwhile I am content to check out your blog and enjoy your beautiful words and sublime photos.

  3. Patti Martin Says:

    Beautiful, Patience!!!!!

  4. kristen Says:

    So excited for you and KINDNESS!!!


  5. So proud of you!!! Way to go! your kindness is contagious (as it should be)! The kindness of others has truly melted me this year… I mean physically melted me. I was given a new lease on life this year, when I won a session of Body Back at Mom’s TreeHouse, then a dear friend donated my second session, if I went to every class in the first session. I didn’t miss a class! I started on March 1 — by August 11, I’d lost 50 lbs. I’ve now lost 54 lbs.! All started by the kindness of one individual donating a session to be given away via Richmondmom.com!!! Melted… yes, I am melting.

    And the previous year, I was melted when my daughter was diagnosed with Congenital Heart Defects at 2 months of age. I wasn’t so much melted by the diagnosis, as I was melted by the reality of the responsibility that had just been heaped upon me to become involved in Congenital Heart Disease awareness. I knew I’d been given an opportunity to help fight this horrible life taking disease. I knew this mission was placed upon me, because my child’s defects were not life threatening, but other mother’s didn’t get the same diagnosis for their children. How irresponsible of me would it be to NOT get in this fight on their behalf? It has been life changing. I’ve learned so much and started a chapter of The Children’s Heart Foundation here in Virginia. I am coordinating our first ever Congenital Heart Walk of Central VA. I think that was the most important meltdown I’ve had in my entire life. I am so blessed, and it is time I pass blessing on to others.

    Thank you for being a shining example of how we should live and how we should give. If people only realize how wonderful giving feels, how wonderful a smile or a hug from someone feels… oh this world would be such a much better place. It all starts with one act of kindness… πŸ™‚

    I’d love for you to read Cora’s Story (it’s a blog by Kristine Brite McCormick) — Cora’s legacy lives on through random acts of kindness, as well as through other means. But it really is a touching and amazing story that Kristine lives every single day!

    Thanks for all you do!


  6. […] find an online link to the article. Luckily the subject of the article Patience Salgado, aka Kindness Girl has a post upΒ that is less about the article and more about who she is. Congrats on the article it […]

  7. jag Says:

    What a wonderful story! And a fantastic way to spread the message of kindness… THANK YOU for feeling the fear and doing it anyway. Inspiring…
    jag xox

  8. Dave Says:

    Congratulations! I’m very happy for you and couldn’t be prouder. πŸ™‚

  9. weezer Says:

    Found you as a result of the article in O. So thankful to have found you and looking forward to more encouragement on kindness πŸ™‚

  10. Maggi Says:

    First, I am not a bit surprised that you are spreading your kindness message to a big base of magazine readers. Second, CONGRATULATIONS! Third, I really missed you at the MM picnic yesterday, recalling the quilty handoff of three years ago ~ XXO


  11. Wow! How exciting to be spreading the kindness to that huge of an audience!

    I am melting and reforming as I type. πŸ˜‰ I recently left my job of many years (teaching the 8th grade) to homeschool my stepdaughter and create a different (simple, broke, and happy) kind of life for my little family.

    You’re an inspiration. πŸ˜€

  12. Kelly Says:

    So so so so excited and happy for you Patience! And very proud of you! You are a inspiration and you DESERVE this. The work you do is an inspiration to so many people and you are lighting a beautiful path for others!

  13. Christi Csaky Says:

    Now more people know how truly beautiful you are, inside and out. The world will be better. Amazed by your kindness…

  14. Anne Says:

    when you know something is right, from so way down deep, it is a powerful force to ignore. You are so beautiful my friend, way to go…..

  15. lisa Says:

    i am busting out in wild applause and uncontained grinning over here! bravo!

  16. Brenda Says:

    Oh Patience…YAY for YOU…YAY for Kindness! I’m so over-th-moon excited for you!!!

    Seriously, people know when they come to my house I’m gonna drag them in to my computer to see a post of yours…that’s just how it is…something that you’ve posted has always just melted my heart and I’m one of those people who MUST share! πŸ™‚

    So keep doing what you’re doing…you are going to reach so, so, so many more people…love, love, love to you!!!!

  17. tita buds Says:

    Just a couple of days ago, I was so happy to have found your blog and now you have this. The recognition is very well deserved and I’m thankful that even more people will know about this project. Kindness FTW! πŸ™‚


  18. Hooray Patience!!! I am doing a happy dance for you and your kindness! You are so amazingly inspirational and I’m so glad to hear your magic is going to spread even further!!! Wheee!!!

    You are beautiful inside and out…

    Big, Big Hugs to you πŸ™‚

    xo
    Kristin

  19. Ali Hines Says:

    Hip Hip Hooray! cOnGrAtUlAtIoNs, pAtIeNcE!!
    It’ so wonderful that your message and example is being shared to so many!

  20. charbatkin Says:

    No wonder you wanted to get that web site up!

    Sincere congratulations, Patience. Humbling, but how affirming of the path you’ve chosen!

    I admire your openness, and your surrender. Your willingness to put yourself out there. For me, personally, that has always been the greatest obstacle. Deep seated insecurities that haunt me. Excuses for not doing.

    Nevertheless, safety is a serious concern, not just for the moment, but for the future as well, in ways difficult to anticipate. Always remember that you deserve your safety, and your privacy. You can choose to take risks, but it is not a requirement, and need not be a default.

    Take care of yourself, as you take care of us all.

    You are loved!


  21. Oh wow, CONGRATULATIONS! I am a new reader to your blog since you were featured on the ‘freshly pressed’ page, but love your message and your posts. And I know exactly what you mean about the fear of being seen – I just started my blog recently and don’t know how ‘public’ I want to make it. It’s scary to put yourself out there! I admire your openness and think you’re doing something wonderful here with this blog.
    Congrats again!

  22. Gail Says:

    Your pictures are amazingly crisp and clear! What type camera do you use? Do you shoot on auto or manual?

  23. Kim Says:

    Congratulations! Can’t wait to read your story!
    I also want to know what type of camera you use, ALL of the pictures are truly amazing! take care!

  24. Eileen Says:

    What a wonderful idea! Something I have thought about, but lack the courage to do. You are remarkable, keep up the good work.

  25. Nici Says:

    Saw you in Oprah and am inispired. What a great thing you are doing. Also, read through some of your posts. Thank you for being “real” πŸ™‚ I have a 3 year old also, and some days are just not all glorious and fun as some blogs may have you believe πŸ™‚ Can’t wait to get started.

  26. Tamara Says:

    So cool! I’ve been wondering how to get some school kids involved in charitable activities….this is great! Everyone needs kindness! I’ll put the kids to the test and see what they come up with!

  27. Melinda Says:

    Patience, I just got my magazine in the mail today and I can’t tell you how excited I was for you! I think you are such an inspiration and I have included you in my blog tonight. Thank you for everything that you do. I hope this article really goes a long way in helping you reach people all over the world.


  28. Congratulations. I just received my issue today. I really like the ideas you presented as ways to spread kindness. I am always looking for easy, affordable ideas. Thank you!


  29. sorry that was me who just posted and the computer went crazy. keep up the great work!

  30. Nikko Says:

    I just read the piece in O magazine and had to come to your website right away. You are an incredible inspiration, and I thank you for having the courage to share your ideas. The world needs more people like you.

  31. Lulu Leath Says:

    Yay Patience! How exciting for you and your family! So happy to see nice things happening to good people! Congrats!
    Love,
    Lulu Leath

  32. Nota Says:

    Congratulations!! Melting…melting…melting…
    Last week was a particularly rough week, and I kinda of got ding-dong-ditched with a VERY unexpected belated birthday present from a friend I had not seen or heard from in months upon months – maybe even years. The present was a collection of things that had been on my mind – that she had no way of knowing were on my mind – and literally brought me to tears. It was the most perfect and amazing box of things. But that isn’t what melted me. What melted me was contacting her to say Thank You, which led to arranging a lunch adventure for the two of us, where I told her how much her gift meant to me in person – and letting her know she’d touched my soul in such an innocent way – THAT turned me to goo. Her reaction. She had no idea what she’d done, so I’m glad she got to know how appreciated she was in a personal way.


  33. Thanks to O magazine you have a new follower – actually I’m sure you have thousands of new followers – and I am one of them! Looking forward to getting to know you better πŸ™‚


  34. Really, just THANK YOU. For doing what you’re doing and for inspiring us to be better. Thank you.

  35. Beth Miller Says:

    Hi Patience,
    I found you because of the article in O – and I’m so glad I did. Your work is inspirational. The words in your blog melted me, “being afraid of the power of it all” “beautiful mess that I am in my head and my heart” “the truth is there is no safety” – what a wonderful way to articulate the chatter that goes on in our heads. You are SO right – there is NO safety in life- which is why your mission is so essential. What do we have to guard against the cold but one another? Thank you for everything you do. It’s the right message at the right time.

  36. Skye Says:

    My best friend just told me about you & holy cow, I’m so glad she did!!
    The past 2 days were chock full of unexpected kindnesses & I thought i’d tell you about it because…well, I dunno, except it’s just nice to hear about random kindness!
    My family was vacationing at the beach & we took the kids to the arcade on the boardwalk. My husband won the kids a few tickets to turn in for prizes. Just enough for them to each get the smallest prize – but it was an unexpected treat. The kids pick out their prizes & the woman behind the prize counter with a big smile, gave them each a much bigger prize “just because”. We ended up talking with her for quite awhile & the kids were so excited. We were overwhelmed by her genuine niceness. The next day we go back to the arcade (my kids are addicted to the “granny grab” games – their name for those claw games where you try to lift up a prize. Anyway, they weren’t having too much luck with it & we were leaving when this man walks up to us & hands us a big bag of tokens to cash in for prizes for the kids. Just because. Just to make total strangers happy. AND THEN his wife comes up to us while we were waiting in line & hands us MORE she said “so the kids can get something really good”. Well, my kids got what they liked best, then we got a voucher for the rest (over 3,000 tickets worth), and gave it to another kid who didn’t look like she had any tickets. Who knew the arcade was a jot spot for niceness?? πŸ˜€


  37. […] you are a new friend from the O Magazine…here is a good place to start! So happy to have you… Share this:TwitterFacebookStumbleUpon […]

  38. becky Says:

    I remember those seeds of kindness sprouting long ago…What beautiful flowers they have become! Congratulations…love you.

  39. lifeisart Says:

    how absolutely awesome!!!

  40. Andrea Price Says:

    Thank you. I’m feeling very lucky to have found you.

  41. Florence Says:

    Thank you for the inspiration.

  42. MooseysMommy Says:

    I think what you do is inspiring and incredible.

  43. Bessie Says:

    What has melted me in 2011? I lost my sister in February. She was three years younger than me and one of my best friends. She had neuro-surgery in 2007 and went into a coma. She held on for that long and I missed the her I had been blessed to know, but loved her all the same. My husband said he didn’t know how to support me. He wanted me to return to my family. I thought that was interesting since I married him and he was supposed to be my go to guy. But, I found healing this summer working with the youth from my tribe at a youth camp and found my silly side as well as the ability to look outward instead of inward. I am blessed to have good family and friends in my corner and even my husband, who is working to support me the best he can, and I can’t ask for more than what he is capable of supplying. I look forward to learning from you and more about me as I follow your blog. Thanks.

    • kindnessgirl Says:

      So sorry about your sister Bessie… I bet she loved you so very much. Thinking of you as you walk through precious grief, may kindness find you in all the ways you need it most. I’m so glad to meet you.

  44. Emily Says:

    I discovered you through O Magazine, and I could not be more thrilled. Cheers to you and for the beauty you share (which causes me to share, which causes her to share, which causes him to share….).

  45. Mariella Says:

    Holy Moly! O Magazine?! Just saw your article highlighted on FB! Even though I don’t know you personally, I’m so excited for you! Congratulations, girlie!! πŸ™‚ xo ~ M.


  46. […] you found your way here via Oprah, this might be a good place to start! …it explains the breakdown and breakthrough of this kindness […]


  47. […] the Oprah article hit there was a swirl of energy, the kind of swirl that turns you upside down and you start […]


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