the truth about trouble….revisited.

October 24, 2011


jackie boy, (because that’s what we called him back then, he thought it was his actual name for forever), age 6, 2009

With another kid just turned 6, and the realization that our time with little kids is dwindling…I went hunting for memories over at the ole’ PBS Supersisters blog. I came across this little story…and I remembered that night like it was yesterday and reminded myself the truth about trouble (I kinda need it.)…whether we are 6 or 60, we can probably all stand a little more love when we are screwing up.

March 17, 2009

It was late and they were fighting again. Jack knows just how to push Lucy’s buttons to get that shriek out of her. I try to ignore it most of the time because that little girl can sure hold her own. This time however, she cried, it was the hurt feeling cry. It seemed the usual little sister and big brother bother had a little mean thrown into the mix. It was a sign something needed to be said.
“Jack, buddy, I think you’ve reached your limit my friend. I gotta take some Wii time away tomorrow.” I said.

 
There was a look of instant panic. It’s kind of rare at our house to have an actual punishment, lots of logical consequences but this, the Wii, it was a biggie. He started crying and it soon escalated into a full out tantrum. A tantrum at the age of six. I was kind of stunned. I started questioning my decision a little since the response was so strong and so rare for this kid. I guess maybe it had been building for awhile and a release was in order. There were so many big feelings and that can be tricky sometimes. I wasn’t sure what to do but then instinct took over.

 
“Jack, do you know what can happen sometimes when you are getting into trouble a lot?” I said.
“No, what?” He said while trying to catch his breath in between the sobs.
“You can forget that you are loved. And the truth is, when lots of trouble is around it’s a time when you need love the most. Do you think that could be happening to you right now?” I said.
His little face kind of changed. His eyes crinkled and his own hurt feeling cry started.

 
“Yeah! I need more love mom, I need more love.” He threw his arms around me and buried his head in my chest and sobbed big, heavy sobs.
“I know Jackie, I can tell. And I know you are a kind boy with a good heart, I know this about you, it’s okay. And papa is away and he is the one who snuggles you so much, I think you are missing that too.” He nodded and we sat together in the moment.

 
We climbed in bed, all four kids. My arms too full with babies to even hold him but he snuggled up against me. He fell asleep with a red and puffy face and a quiet sigh, the drama behind us. I closed my own eyes knowing we would all wake up to less Wii, but maybe a little more love.

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8 Responses to “the truth about trouble….revisited.”

  1. debbie Says:

    “Jack, do you know what can happen sometimes when you are getting into trouble a lot?” I said.
    “No, what?” He said while trying to catch his breath in between the sobs.
    “You can forget that you are loved. And the truth is, when lots of trouble is around it’s a time when you need love the most. Do you think that could be happening to you right now?” I said.
    His little face kind of changed. His eyes crinkled and his own hurt feeling cry started.

    i love that..I love that perspective…thank you, thank you thank you xxd

  2. Julie Sulik Says:

    ooohhh…every time I read one of your blogs, my little girl inside is healed a little more. so thankful you have the grace to share these moments/memories with the world. such salve, so many times.
    love you!


  3. When my babies were little…I read somewhere…”We need love most when we deserve it least”. I’m not always the greatest giver but so much better with my granddaughter than I was with my children. Thank you for this beautiful story.


  4. Yesterday, I forgot that I was loved. I was clumsy and careless and broke something precious and irreplaceable, and decided in my shame that I was no longer worthy of love and belonging.

    I know exactly what Julie (above) meant when she said the little girl inside is healed with your words. Thank you for sharing your words, your kindness, your stories.

    It is a grace for the world that you are raising children with your kind heart.


  5. What a great post. It’s so easy to forget that at our worst is when we need to be loved the most. I’m also with Julie, the little girl inside is healed with your words.

    Happened to stumble upon your blog a week or so ago and I’m so glad I did. Loving everything I read.


  6. Wow! This touching story brought tears to my eyes (and I am at work- trying not to let them fall) I wish I could have read this when my son was 6. (He is now 25 years old) We did teach his little sister to ask if he needed a hug when he would tease her, and that helped. but now looking back, he probably need a “little more love” from his Mommy. (sigh)


  7. […] the article here: the truth about trouble….revisited. Posted in News Tags: archives, month-october, select, twitter, twitter-select « Mummy […]


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