i need your love…

May 13, 2012

It was my child that has been the hardest for me lately that has been the most intent on nurturing Mother’s Day this year. There were hours of creating a giant flower card and a trip to the park to pick mulberries and wrap them in leaves decorated with flowers.

It is a sweet moment where the artist’s persistence of creating is for me, the same intense love in which she pours all of herself into is manifested to celebrate my love for her. The exchange was important, for both of us.

She woke me up yesterday, unable to wait to give me her card.

“Oh Luce! I see so much love in this card…thank you! I really need your love.” I said.

“I need your love too mom. ” she replied.

…because there are years when the fullness of your heart tells you all you need to know about your place and role as a mom and then there are other years where you really, really need to know from the people you love that what you do matters, that you are seen, that someone cares and forgives you even if you haven’t been the greatest mom, that it’s okay that you are finding your way, that you rock this shit day in and day out, that the intent of your heart trumps everything. That they know just how deeply you love them.

So years were spent hoping they could see all that and mirror it back to me on this one day…the expectations held were enormous some years and others light as a feather.  It wasn’t until I owned my need that there was real space for them to love me. It turned almost comical… “Guys! This has been a terrible mothering year for me, I NEED TO KNOW YOU GUYS LOVE ME! Okay?”

Some children shocked at such honesty, “Mom! That’s not true! You are a GREAT mom!”

While some other 3 year old nodded in the corner, she knew things actually had been pretty rough…but somehow love rises in our authentic need. I said where I wanted to go, or what I wanted and left just a little space for surprise. These were the best Mother’s Days…and some years there was no energy for even that and those are the years when we have to take care of each other.

This is when the circle widens and mothers celebrate mothers. This is when you Ding Dong Ditch flowers to mothers you love my friend. When you text the words you know she needs to hear. When you call her and whisk her away to chalk kind messages of love on other mothers’ sidewalks, or just escape for coffee to listen.  This is when you receive what you need by offering it to someone else.

Whatever Mother’s Day you are having, there is space to need love and to receive it.  Someone is holding it for you today and tightly, whoever it is, they are. You are loved.

Feel free to leave words of love to other mothers in the comments today…they will be for all of us. 

12 Responses to “i need your love…”

  1. Jake h. Says:

    Happy mothers day to all mothers and amen to that post

  2. Pamela Figg Says:

    Patience … you are truly an amazing lady!!
    Happy Mother’s Day to you and all the wonderful momma’s out there 🙂

  3. Amy Says:

    I needed this post today! Thank you! It is amazing how you speak from your own heart and somehow magically know that others need it too. You are amazing!

  4. Annie Delgado Says:

    Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms. It’s an adventure being a mom whether your children are young or adults. Enjoy your day!

  5. Lisa Says:

    May all women, whether you are mothers, want to become a mother or just love children…may you all know deep in that place where only you go, may you know there that you are amazing and loved. Happy Mother’s Day!

  6. Amelia Says:

    no one is perfect we are all just aiming for OK, and we are all OK 🙂

  7. Jen Bailey Says:

    “Most of all the other beautiful things in life come by twos and threes by dozens and hundreds. Plenty of roses, stars, sunsets, rainbows, brothers, and sisters, aunts and cousins, but only one mother in the whole world.” -Kate Douglas Wiggin

    Happy Mother’s Day to you Patience! What another wonderful and touching post…

  8. Heather D Says:

    Love goes out to all who have lost either mother or child. Lets wrap our love around those that this day maybe hard for & give gratitude for all we have to share & give!xoxoxo

  9. jules423 Says:

    For Patience, this is a post for me too. This was a tough week getting along with my 15-year-old son – a lot of back talk, defiance and attitude. It’s a tough age. But then there are times when he comes to watch something on TV with me, or asks me to listen to a song or to discuss something he thinks is interesting. So… today, as Heather D. posted, I believe in giving gratitude that I am blessed to have two children, that I celebrated another Mother’s Day with my own mom. I am grateful for what is good and there is a lot of that. Happy Mother’s Day to all who come here…

  10. LizI Says:

    This post really hit home for me. I am not a parent, but I would like to think that I am a caregiver and I love people. I do this without the expectation of anything back. However on occasion, it feels like I give so much and whether it be done well or at times with major flubs, it would be nice to know that the love is returned and acknowledged. Sometimes I think I will stop giving so much, but to do that would be like stopping breathing. I also know that this world truly needs more kindness and for the most part kindness is easy and costs nothing. But there are days when it would be good to say I need your love too.

    Thanks again Patience for articulating so well what I have having a hard time realizing.

  11. A beautiful and touching post, blog, and lady that you are~ thank you ~Deborah

  12. moonlily78 Says:

    This hit the mark for me. This Mother’s Day was hard with my husband tdy again, and a sweet lil’ man acting so out of character. I get what you said about your heart being so full and confident sometimes, and other times knowing when to ask for what you need, and that it’s ok to ask. Sometimes the best thing to help ourselves is to recognize that same need in others. I forgot about what I didn’t have and focused on giving the extra attention my son was needing. By the end of that long toddler day, he was covering my face in kisses, making everything alright!

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