Kindnessgirl

2 things:

1. I think we could seriously have a problem with our addiction to Enchanted. We watch it (ALL of us) almost every day, even if it’s on for background loveliness. Jorge thought we should watch it after we watched a crappy movie, just to redeem our day.

I don’t thing we have ever had a collective addiction together. Who can blame us? You have to feel joy watching it…

2. I’m starting to think Jack should write a book. His 5 year old soul is so freaking connected right now. I think each of my kids has this superpower in a different way, actually we all do.

so here is the word from Jack today –

Josiah and Jack were lobbying to buy a new video game. They pooled their money together but Jack was carrying like 80% of the weight.

Me: “Jack are you sure you want to do this, this is ALL of your money? Are you sure this is what you want? (in my head- and you aren’t being convinced by your sometimes persuasive older brother?)

Josiah: (who makes me feel like a loser for my previous thought) Yeah Jack, it’s a lot of money, I don’t want you to give it all to that, maybe it’s too much.

Jack: Mom, mom, I don’t care about money mom, it’s about joy! That’s what people think about mom. ( i think he meant care, not think)

I do not know where he came from, seriously…

welcome yoshi’s island…bring your joy because it’s all about joy….

the title is for you old amy grant fans…

A sore throat, fever and a test of love kept us from our kindness adventures today. We had a grand day planned- guerrilla goodness and then we were off to celebrate Lucy Goode Brooks at a local event held in her honor.

Lucy was born into slavery to an African American woman and a white man who we don’t know much about. Lucy’s owner allowed her to marry another slave, Albert Brooks. She learned to read and soon taught Albert. This skill which was scarce among her peers and proved to be very valuable through out her life.

She tried desperately to keep her family together, so many families had been torn apart. She managed to keep 3 children with her and the others to places and people she knew. Her oldest daughter, Margaret Anne was sold after an owner changed his mind on a pledge he had made to Lucy. Her girl was gone to Tennessee, she was devastated. She later received word that Margaret had died.

The war ended, Albert was able to purchase their freedom from their owner. Lucy, the head of her sewing circle had an idea. She gathered her friends and approached the Quakers for help. She wanted to start an orphanage for slave children who had been displaced by slavery and war. This former slave and her friends convinced the city to deed her land in the JacksonWard area to care for those left and alone. The Friends’ Asylum for Colored Orphans was opened in 1872.

Although it has changed over time, this organization still operates today, 136 years later. The Friends Association serves the community by providing services and resources to families, a way to uncover all the potential inside, and a firm but loving guide to finding a healthy and successful path for over 4000.

I hold Lucy’s story very close to my heart. I picture her feisty and strong, an advocate during a time when she was not even considered or treated as a human being. I think of the partnership she must have had with Albert. Her struggle and resolve…Her strength has shown me that love will always find a way.

Love is an admirer of tenacity and a keeper of hope, it sees right through the dark all around, it is the place where truth and goodness meet. The struggle is sometimes great, which is the best time for love to prove herself. I have been called to hold this faith very close and very tight this weekend. Every time I start to lose my grip, love has pulled me tighter, reminding me of the strength and my TRUST in the way home…

you are my home

for j

to learn more about Lucy and the bracelet telling her story and honoring her life go to http://www.friendsassn.org

I love getting packages….brown paper packages tied up with string.

I could barely contain myself yesterday when the brown box was sitting on my front porch. I think my kids were more excited than I was….this is definitely a guerrilla goodness project to do with kids.

While my husband is out playing golf somewhere on Saturday ( he needs it desperately) we will be leaving magic wands all over our city with messages of encouragement and empowerment. Actually, this could go a million different ways but if you feel inspired to join, you can take it any way you wish…

here are a few messages we have so far…

YOU are Magic!

Be the Magic you want to see in the world.

Kindness is like Magic- practice some today.

Today is FULL of possibilities!

You have the power to change the world! (josiah’s idea)

You are powerful!

Jack’s vote is to start with the ice cream place to leave these little treasures. So here we go!!!!! If you decide you want to spread some magic, here is where we got the wands or send me your address(thekindnessgirl@gmaildotcom ) and I’ll send you a few to start your own guerrilla goodness adventure. We’ll post pictures on Monday…

p.s. we bought the good old school black and white wands too for the purists in the world…

Jack standing in front of the mirror this afternoon:

“Hi”!

“Is it you?”

“It is you!”

(in a whisper)”You are so handsome…”

“Thanks, you are too. ”

I was dying, SO wishing I could have seen his face…He is his father’s son.

I have 2 modes of operating in pregnancy. Deny and Defy. I pretty much spend the first 12-20 weeks in complete disbelief that I am actually pregnant. I think for sure it won’t stick because I never get sick- horrible, I know, but its probably some deep seeded self protection from a long ago miscarriage.

When I decide I am in fact, well, pregnant, I then spend the rest of the time trying to defy it.

“Of course I can move the refrigerator, I’m pregnant, not dead.”

“Run a couple miles at 32 weeks, yeah, sure. Lift weights on the 6th day of the 39th week? totally.”

“Come on, the women in the fields had babies and kept on goin’? Why can’t I?”

“and yes, I will be wearing my bikini until the bitter end.”

It’s quite obvious I’ve been failing beautifully at pregnancy for quite some time now. I hear from Anne Lamott that all kinds of amazing things spring from failure. Everything seems different this time, the opportunity to claim a different way lies so clearly in front of me. My expertise in failure has primed me for a hopeful start to change.

Lessons learned so far:

1. Denial is sort of a joke on me…the connections are there far sooner than I ever imagined. It takes me one little scare to realize just how much I care and have all along. It’s okay to love too soon.

2. Pregnancy calls me to be very present in my body, in the moment, in the experience. Sometimes, this is (literally) a pain in the ass, but other moments it is almost sacred.

3. Vulnerability is my friend, not a foe. She makes us human and creates opportunities for nurture. Pride can make you miss out on acts of kindness and love you really need. Strength is not always something to be admired especially when it stands in the way of growth.

4 . Receiving is almost important as giving…it levels the playing field and requires that we all rely on each other.

5. It’s good to bask in “my delicate condition”- doors being opened for you, fuss over how you are feeling, rest, concern and care…these are to be welcomed and savored.

6. I need to stop saying- “I don’t have time to be pregnant!”- yes, there is time, more than enough time…my life will continue because I know no other way but this time, I am pregnant in that life. It sounds completely ridiculous but it all makes perfect sense to me.

Truth be told, every one is birthing/growing something. It’s happening all around. May the universe treat to you with all care and concern accordingly…

Ever so often I have this fantasy of running off to a hotel for a few days. In my head it’s 5 star, of course. I order an offensive amount of room service and lay around all day in the yummiest robe my skin can imagine. I lose the terry heaven only for massages and candle lit baths.

The Jefferson isn’t exactly in my budget these days but this can not keep me from practicing acts of kindness upon myself. A 3 star hotel courtesy of Priceline (at a third of the price) and Panera’s portabello/mozarella pannini does the trick for me.

My friends laugh- “You’re what? You’re in a hotel, by yourself, in our city?”

Yes! Gloriously, yes! 24 hours of silence, a dark and cool room, a ridiculously long hot shower, a large bed by myself, uninterrupted reading, listening only to my own needs…this is exactly what mothers of young children need.

Don’t have the money you say? One time after a particularly horrific night with Lucy I called a dear friend with a large house.

“Hey, I had the crappiest night with Luce. I desperately need a hotel night but I have no money. Can I come take a nap in your guest bed?”

This dear friend couldn’t be happier that I called. She picked up lunch for us, I took a 3 hour nap and she brought me tea when I woke up.

So my friends, here are some kind ideas for you:

Nature Escape (a low cost option):

Start with a long walk in your favorite nature spot. This is one of mine…

Find a nice spot and practice some form of creativity (draw, sing, knit, paint, etc) or just lay in the sun (rest, read)

Meet your favorite friend for lunch on a outdoor patio somewhere yummy…

Find a friend’s house you can retreat to for a nap, girlfriends without kids are best…or go home, I bet your mom will let you sleep in your old bed that is now the guest room. A nap in a lumpy bed is still inviting.

This retreat is great for mom’s who can’t be gone too long or have nursing babes…

Hibernating Heaven (a moderate cost option):

Book a hotel room in your favorite part of your city.

Download a few of your favorite movies or pick up some DVD’s to watch on your lap top.

Buy snacks, good chocolate, and silly magazines.

Bring your bathing suit just in case you want to take a dip in the hot tub.

Check-in as early as you can. Spend the afternoon napping and relaxing.

Invite a friend to join you at the hotel for a take-out/delivery dinner and watch a cheesy girl movie.

Take a soak in the tub/whirlpool and turn in early.

Order room service for breakfast, leisurely pack up and head back to the real world.

The Whole She-Bang (a lot of bananas):

Mix an experience w/ rest.

My sister swears by Portland, OR– this artsy, funky city has the best markets, dining and culture for the best get-a-way.

My heart, well actually stomach, adores Miami. Digging your feet in the sand, the best people watching and yummy dinners and mojitos at Versailles, you’ll never want to leave.

Immerse yourself in the biggest nature…the California Redwoods, The Grand Canyon, Yellowstone, any coast….nature is powerful and almost always good for the soul.

If all of this sounds completely out of your league- way more than you can give yourself at the moment or too frivolous for you, start small…a new book, good shampoo, a movie by yourself.

This requires effort and intention on our part and it always doubles our ability to extend kindness to others.

Leave your own suggestions of self love in the comments…it’s good to be kind.

Watching Gandhi and Enchanted in one weekend makes you believe you can save the world and your true love even with morning sickness…that and love and truth always win.