Kindnessgirl

My Boys-photo by jen lemen and posted at shuttersisters

Charlie and Sam came over yesterday, they are the same ages of my boys. It’s good when things are in pairs, everybody needs a partner. I casually looked out the window and saw a child literally flying through the air.

The foursome were on our water slide (and thank god i didn’t pay that much for it)…the collective testosterone had multiplied the dare devil attempts. I think, although I’m not sure, they were trying to jump OVER the second hump. This makes the mother in me a little nervous but it makes the kid in me completely impressed.

I love the energy “more” brings….more boys, more running, more jumping, more pizza please, more pushing the limits of life- the body, the joy, a mother’s sanity. These are the virtues of little boys on a hot summer day.

I come from a family of exaggerators….our lineage feels like that of the Big Fish variety.  I have decided to settle and commit to the number I often use to enhance my exaggeration skills- it’s 57,000. It makes everything more dramatic and interesting.

it goes something like this..

“Babe, there were like 57,000 kids at that birthday party, never again am I going alone.”

“I could eat like 57,000 of them.” (strawberries just picked from the patch)

“I’ve only asked them 57,000 times to brush their teeth…blah, blah, blah”

what’s your number?

It only took me telling them 4 times that today would be screen free (no tv or computer) before they disappeared for awhile. They returned with this…

A message in a bottle, this was inside…

if you follow the arrow, you will find your prize

A unexpected treasure hunt? yep, these are my children. This is seriously the best thing that can happen to a mother all week. I was told this would help me find my way…

Lucy (who, btw, dressed herself, obviously) made this while the boys laid out the carefully hatched plan…

I was off on my adventure with lots of different paths to choose from.

The first path brought me here, I was excited to find out what was under this…

Unfortunately, all I found was this…

I didn’t give up, I picked another room only to find this…

I was getting a little discouraged until Jorge helped me out…he was on the last path and found the treasure.

An old ticket to Natural Bridge which Josiah is convinced is still good and a compass ring.

This time it was my turn to hide the treasure although Josiah was bummed there was no message.

The treasure, however, was very well received.

Compliments of Aunt Kate who mailed treats from Disney World. All in all, a good screen free day…

I overheard this while driving the other day. This is the conversation in the back seat.

The boys were trying to teach Lucy knock-knock jokes.

Boys: Lucy, knock-knock…

Boys: Luuuccccyyy, knock, knock…

Lucy: BOYS! I not a door, I a Lucy!

I have discovered that the first hour of being at the laundromat is fun, after that, it’s a toss up. It’s fun to load like 8 washers, get a zillion quarters out of the machine, and give the kids rides in the baskets but after awhile it can get a little hot and boring.

Except, of course, if there are strangers around. Who knew that girl loved funky thongs? And can you imagine only having to do like 2 loads a week? She just said #7 is the best dryer- note to self…

…but by the time it’s time to fold ALL 8 loads (at the same time) , everyone is cranky and ready to go home.

Today was different though. It was quiet and Lucy inherited some old dora magnetic/paper dolls sort of things from Kira and this seemed to keep her occupied for hours which gave me time to clean out my bag/purse. I came across this paper given to me by my friend Gina just the day before. It was an affirmation.

It says: It is going to be OKAY! …Actually, it’s going to be GREAT!

This affirmation was a result of a heady doula conversation about my birth. When doulas or birth enthusiasts have babies, their minds can travel so many more places because of all they know and have seen.

We were deep into my evaluation of optimal fetal positioning, a previous posterior presentation and how this would all affect my labor. I decided to throw in my projection of of this baby’s personality and how that will make it more interesting…in plain language- I was needlessly obsessing. Pregnant women are experts at this.

“Patience, you are over thinking this, you need an affirmation.” Gina said. She was so right.

“Awww, I’m too smart for affirmations right now.” I replied. What? Too smart? Did that just actually come out of my mouth? I meant I can psyche myself out of them too easily but come on! My heart was resisting.

Never mind that that the bulk of my work is writing blessings, holding space for affirmations to become true, promising to hold hope if others cannot or aren’t ready to…I underestimated the power of truth written on a tiny paper. I wasn’t sure it could be the same for me but luckily this time, I have Gina. She is my kindness girl.

I sat on the hard seat at the laundromat, I stared at the paper, it’s was working on my soul already. By the end of drying I decided this could be the best affirmation I had ever received. So simple but with lots of intention and hope. I want to kiss it! It was too good to hide in my own heart and mind, it had to be shared.

So I pulled out scrap papers out of my bag. I wrote the little phrase on the back of receipts and doodle papers. I hid them all over the laundromat while Lucy put our left over quarters in various machines.

You just never know when you’ll need an extra 5 minutes of time in the dryer for the towels that are still wet and the laundromat is the perfect place to discover that it will be okay, actually it’s going to be GREAT!

1. Kimmy from Shimmer.Glimpse

She’s smart, like really smart, you can see the wheels in her head turning when you talk to her. I’m pretty sure she’s about 10 steps ahead all the time. The best part is she’s honest in a really articulate way, it calls you to think and ask new questions. This mixed with a deep love for her family and neighborhood/community, a connection to nature and wholeness, and a soul-based way of life makes her someone you should know.

2. Amy from Knit…simply Knit

I admired Amy from a far for quite sometime before I really got to know her. I had to know her because her kids are some of the dearest I’ve ever met (and I’ve known A LOT in my day). My hunch that the mother had to be wonderful was dead on. Amy is one of those rare people that has a gentleness and strength all mixed together. She lives in an old farm house in the country that is so dreamy it has actually made a city girl like me consider a move just to be her neighbor. She is a knitting artist, a deep and tender soul and owns a spirituality rooted in kindness and truth.

You can find her art at www.sheknitsamy.etsy.com

and now at the Goochland Farmer’s Market every Saturday from 8am-12pm.

3. Jim Johns at My Values Journey

Jim is an emotional intelligence genius, no really, it’s the man’s job for a living. He knows every Myer’s Briggs, color, strength finder, work-related test under the sun. Besides being one of the nicest guys you’ve ever met, he’s famous in my mind because he’s married to my dear friend Nancy.

I love his blog because of the very practical, hands on approach to saving the world. The guy lights up at old copper pipes found in his father-in-law’s basement and coworkers who save cans for him to turn in for yet another donation for the work in Africa he is supporting. It’s everyday, it’s humble, and yet making a difference, just like Jim.

4. The Flobots

I LOVE when music and social change live together and get married. It doesn’t happen very often but The Flobots have it going on in a serious way. I can’t stop listening and feeling both kinda old and very hopeful. I am sure I am like 10 years too old for their music but I am totally addicted. It helps that my husband is ubercool this way and always has a pulse on the best bands. Their call for change, the deep belief in the power of their message, their very open and determined hearts will make a mark on even more than they can imagine. I’m sure of it.

It’s hot and very hazy in my new little neighborhood, the kindness is as thick as the air. I woke from a much needed rest this afternoon to Jorge standing at our bedroom door. “You aren’t going to believe this, 3 guys in a white truck just dropped a shed in our back yard. I think Therese and Paul did this.” he said. This shed being the answer to the rest of our storage woes. I never thought one could feel so much love from a shed.

“What? Was there a note? Who dropped it off? What?”, I replied.

“I don’t know, this was too much Patience.” He shakes his head, I can see how touched he is. He brings in a card with a Celtic home blessing, the words couldn’t be more perfect.

I want to cry, the lump is growing. It was guerilla-style…anonymous, a surprise…whoever did this knows me well. I pace around, not sure what to do, walking in a haze of love…

I start calling around to find some answers, this act of kindness was performed by my new neighbors. It was Ann, famous first in my heart for this, then this and this, and Melissa, my running doula, who always seems to appear to nurture me when crisis erupts. and then apparently, a whole HOST of other dear souls ( with jorge’s hunch about Tand P being right), I don’t even know how many or where to start expressing my thanks. It was probably the same group of women who organized 3 weeks of meals in my nausea-filled first trimester, or sat in a circle just a week ago trying to help me navigate new pitfalls in parenting, or have listened to my dribble time and time again. They are my tribe.

I feel hazy like the air, overwhelmed, but mostly I feel a deep sense of honor. You see, kindness has been following me my whole life. How did I get picked by the divine Mother, God, the universe, to experience and live in this space in such a deep and profound way? Kindness changes everything and anything, this I am sure of. That and the magical appearance of a shed on a hazy day can humble a large pregnant women into truly soaking up all the love the divine has to offer.

Do you remember the picks of last summer?

1. This summer is the summer when your mother makes you read…I know, totally boring but very necessary.

These are a good start:

Josiah- Prince Caspian

Riding bikes to a pizza dinner and movie date night to follow the finishing of the book. He’ll do almost anything for riding bikes together, pizza and movies.

Jack- Elmer and the Dragon

An after school program studying My Father’s Dragon had Jack completely obsessed with maps, knapsacks and dragons.

Lucy- All board books known to man. Animal picture books preferred.

2. Popsicle choice of the summer – we have returned to our old school ways. and you can eat like a 1,000 and never get sick of them. Verde is always gone first.

3. Josiah and I were daydreaming about going to one of these stores and a workshop after listening about them on NPR.

That Dave Eggers… TED award, awesome books, kind of screwed up like all good writers and artists, he’s my kind of guy…

The Superhero Supply Store in Brooklyn sounds like a great stop on a short summer vacation to NYC. a girl can dream…

4. I have a feeling Mika (Me) , The Flobots (Jorge and Josiah) and Queen (Jack’s new personal favorite) are the music choices of the summer.

I swear I hear “We are the Champions” at least 10 times a day.

Lucy is still holding strong to the Across the Universe soundtrack.

5. Picking blueberries, or picking anything for that matter. Picking is part of my spirituality, always touches me on a core level.

6. Going semi-vegetarian… for us this means eating veggie all week and ordering a Cuban sandwich at a restaurant on the weekend. Does that make any sense at all?

1. It still baffles me after 16 years of being with someone, there is still more to discover…I kind of hope it never ends.

I don’t think I have ever mentioned it here, but I have my babies at home (that means no drugs). I love and chose this way for a lot of reasons but mostly because of the level of care I have received. I thought Jorge thought this was just the way we do things and not something special. Apparently, he is proud- of me, this way, the birthing process in general. Who knew? Good information to have after 3 kids.

2. Last week Lucy made me crazy, dumbfounded actually, no, maybe just tired. What do I do with her? or not do? The further I get in parenting the more I feel have no idea what the hell I’m doing. I’ve been making some huge discoveries lately, I’m seeing stark differences that are new (or at least to me) in my kids. It could just be new development but it has me mildly obsessing.

I feel slightly humbled as I thought I had a handle and natural inclination on this parenting thing. It’s sad and good at the same time. Sad, realizing we might not have as much as common as I thought and have to find a new way to be. Good, as they are teaching me new things about themselves, me and the beauty of differences at the same time.

3. Small is definitely our speed. This little house feels more like home than the last 2 and more like our beloved old green house. I get this weird satisfaction from making it work. Cozy is good and it helps to have the coolest neighbors.