moving to the light…
July 31, 2010
It was a dark time, a very dark time, so I made a cave. It had fires and warm blankets, comfort food and a place to hibernate, to talk, to cry, to struggle safely, to heal. The only problem is when spring comes, it’s time to go out, to feel the sun light on your face, to believe in new hope, to take in all that is before you. The cave gave us all she had but it was time to go.
We looked high and low for a new house, a grown up house if you will, with charm AND function. For so long I was the girl who could make anything work and turn nothing into something, it was (and still is) my superpower but somewhere along the way I started to tell myself a story that was all there was for me and all I would ever need. I have to admit, after all the cave dwelling, I needed and wanted things to be easier, I started to want even the things that other people wanted like diswashers and working washers/dryers, a pantry and a new bathroom. All of it felt okay, to need, to want, to invite abundance in.
In the midst of all the looking, a dear friend suggested a house of a mutual acquaintance, a home, not a rental, a rad family moving to their next new adventure. I was reluctant, thinking about how four kids really live in a house but she insisted. As soon as we stepped in the door I knew, I could feel all the house held, all the love that existed from this sweet family, it was a move into the light…it is the kindness house.
There were more hurdles to make it happen, exhausting, draining hurdles but it all started to wash away when we got to the big green house. My desire to have everything just so went into overdrive, so I started writing notes to myself on the little blackboard on my porch. Every box carried through the door came with the reminder that all would be done in just the right time. I decided to leave it there and write a new message every week because sometimes you just need to tell yourself exactly what you need to hear. You don’t have to wait for it, you can give that gift to yourself.
This is the place where babies sit on counters while you cook because you actually have counter space for the first time ever…while you give them treats so they stay out of the batter.
…and kind neighbors bring rice krispie treats for the kids and their latest harvest from their most amazing garden.
…and you sit in your new breakfast nook and write letters to those you left behind and honor all that place gave you.
…and you feel so full to know how you have been carried and held, and overwhelmed by your own story… by the way at every turn something new awaits you to show you even more.
Kindnessgirl 
July 31, 2010 at 1:29 pm
I just LOVE that chalkboard sign. What an awesome idea. And the different colored rockers? That is SO you. Enjoy your new house. Fall in love with it. You deserve it!
August 4, 2010 at 5:33 pm
miss you girl! hope all is well in the West coast kindness world…loving all your work at Shutter Sisters!
July 31, 2010 at 4:15 pm
What a lovely porch! Oh, and I really like the chalkboard idea! Sometimes you just need to hear (or in this case read) what you want to, it can be so helpful. Try to concentrate on positive stuff and enjoy the new home as much as possible!
August 3, 2010 at 5:57 am
thanks Elli, there is so much to be positive about, still definitely lost in the new house-moon before i have to really start doing theme rest of my real life too. Thanks for taking the time to write and offer kind words…
July 31, 2010 at 4:24 pm
oh, it’s been tooo long since I’ve read your blog…how beautiful it is and you are…and, of course, your sweet family. Congratulations on your green house…and thank you for reminding me to love mine. 🙂 ❤
August 3, 2010 at 5:54 am
i just plain miss you B, i miss your gentle and sweet spirit with a hint of sass! i would love to see you and JG if you head through RVA on your various adventures…much, much love to you all…
July 31, 2010 at 11:19 pm
I’m so glad you’re in a new place, and in the kindness house, no less. Although I suspect that most any house you live in becomes the kindness house. It’s in you, it’s who you are.
To new beginnings!
August 3, 2010 at 5:43 am
oh thanks Amber, how do you always know just what to say? it has been pretty dreamy, you should see the garden they left me…and raspberry, blackberry, wine berry bushes, a cherry and peach tree…2 little ponds, so amazing. now i have NO idea how to care for all these things, I’ll be asking you for sure! 🙂 thanks mama!
August 1, 2010 at 8:08 am
it IS all going to be great in the beautiful kindness house. what a fantastic story of your home.
much happiness awaits…
August 3, 2010 at 5:40 am
girl…your photography is getting yummier by the minute, oh to live in the color of your world! i’m almost inspired enough to follow SC’s august challenge with you…thanks for the kind wishes.
August 2, 2010 at 11:26 am
This was nice! Thanks for sharing!
August 3, 2010 at 5:37 am
thanks so much Shari!
August 2, 2010 at 11:37 am
I just found your blog through Kim Klassen’s and it is so wonderful! It is just what I need. I used to be this Pollyanna girl who was so sweet, went through some rough times and now am quite a bit jaded. Thank you so much for your words! Will be following you.
xo Erin
August 3, 2010 at 5:37 am
oh, i hear you mama! …but can i secretly tell you how excited i am to be put in the same sentence as Pollyanna? the only thing better might be Mary Poppins or Maria VonTrap :)…but seriously, i think my heart has been a bit altered after uncovering hardship i didn’t know existed and yet still trying to allow kindness to heal me and reach all the places i can’t is the work of the universe everyday…some days feel so open and others so closed, *sigh*…and so it goes. Thanks for taking the time to write, so loving getting lost in your Dropped Stitches…
August 2, 2010 at 4:06 pm
What a beautiful post, I love the idea of the chalkboard sign.
August 3, 2010 at 5:32 am
thanks so much Kathryn…off to check out your most creative blog…
August 2, 2010 at 8:33 pm
Congratulations! I know how you feel – I called my dishwasher “my new best friend” after it was installed. Happy times for you! Please share more pictures as you settle in!
August 3, 2010 at 5:30 am
i think the dishwasher may change my life forever Jenny! i love your room transformation pics on your blog- wish you were my neighbor so you could come over and obsess over pretty with me. 🙂
August 4, 2010 at 10:14 am
It’s got GREAT energy, Kgirl! Once the fall comes, we’ll plant even more stuff!!
August 4, 2010 at 5:38 pm
can’t wait A!!! so excited you will advise me! loved having you over the other day…
August 4, 2010 at 2:49 pm
what lovely news!
Hugs and embraces to you and yours,
Trish
August 4, 2010 at 5:39 pm
oh thanks Trish so very much…hope all is well with you!
August 5, 2010 at 12:03 pm
so sweet and special! Your words are powerful…just like you. you remind me of my most favorite poem…..
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond imagination. It is our light more than our darkness which scares us. We ask ourselves – who are we to be brilliant, beautiful, talented, and fabulous. But honestly, who are you to not be so?
You are a child of God, small games do not work in this world. For those around us to feel peace, it is not example to make ourselves small. We were born to express the glory of god that lives in us. It is not in some of us, it is in all of us. While we allow our light to shine, we unconsciously give permission for others to do the same. When we liberate ourselves from our own fears, simply our presence may liberate others.
your kindness is liberating!
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