this week…
June 23, 2012
well, last week, but you know…
the most simple way to love…
June 22, 2012
I am starting to wonder if it isn’t the most simple ways of connection that hold the greatest hope for change and good.
One man knowing deep in his soul and body that growing something green can bring us together and care for our most basic need that every human deserves
One woman believing sharing salad can heal us and bring life
One family calling in the rhythm of an ancient goodness with drums
…and for one sweaty Richmond night, none of it feels so complicated…it’s just a gathering of people in a community garden, eating salad, while kids give wagon rides and take turns watering the plants…and someone gets an impromptu photography lesson and another financial advice…while others that had no plans at all find their way out of their houses to listen to the drums.
…and the space is held unknowingly and yet with so much intention.
*
…because growth, food and community are the most simple ways to love.
If you live in RVA, you can join us for the garden and salad magic at RVA Salad Fest #2 this Sunday at 7pm at the McDonough Community Garden in Woodland Heights! Thanks to Duron and Maat for including me!
*these 2 sweet souls had never met but I caught this sweet hug at the end of the night.
i am kind.
June 21, 2012
“You are kind like my teacher Karen. I am sorry those kids were mean” -Lucy, age 6
So you may have heard or seen the story of Karen Klein that raced through the internet yesterday. Karen is a grandmother and bus monitor in Greece, New York. A 10 minute video was released on 6/20 of her being verbally abused by some kids on the bus. Honestly, I could only watch about 3 minutes of it. It was really, really bad. You can read the story here: http://huff.to/PvAgVU (warning: the verbal abuse is graphic- lots of expletives)
The moment you first see something so mean, you say a little prayer in your heart for the person being abused and pray, pray, and wish this is an isolated incident…but somewhere in your soul, you know it probably isn’t. I start to wonder if I live in a kindness bubble, and I know I do….BUT then something else rises in me- this work, this belief we hold so close around here- that Kindness Changes Everything.
There is this drive to hold on to it closer than ever, to return it in an overwhelming expression, to find it in the places you would least expect it, to ask people to stand up tall in it. We have to make the connections for people that have suffered terribly as a result of extreme unkindness. We have to be and offer what we want to see in the world. We have to believe it is not only possible, but real and thriving….and bigger than anything else.
So here is what we came up with:
1. We created a I AM KIND Facebook page for kids, adults, all human beings to take a pledge of Kindness in honor of Karen and all those that have endured a similar experience. We are doing that by offering photos of us holding signs saying “I AM KIND.” Pictures in front of school buses would be especially awesome!
You can upload all your pics to the Facebook page here. OR e-mail them to patience@kindnessgirl.com .
2. We are leaving notes and pictures with the words “You are LOVED” for Karen on the Facebook page too!
3. We still believe there is some kindness magic in Greece, NY and would love to send them some wands! Does anyone have a contact there or would be willing to hide some there for us? Let us know in the comments or e-mail me!
Thank you all for holding the space for kindness today…and for returning it in critical times when the world and people really need to know it exists! Love to you all!
If you can help spread the word of this project via Facebook or Twitter, that would be great!
Other good news: Funds raised to send Karen on a vacation! over $119K in less than 24hours
another place to share your love for Karen! Kindness For Karen Facebook Page
kindness captured: a day of bravery and kindness
June 19, 2012
We just need an hour of your time.
To be brave. To be kind.
American Bear and Guerilla Goodness are collaborating to bring you Kindness Captured: A Day of Bravery and Kindness in Syracuse, Richmond, New York City, Dallas, Boston and Seattle.
All around the city we will be placing Kindness Kits — complete with a draw your own mission envelope, the props you need to complete the missions, instructions, and a disposable camera to document your adventure.
TO FIGURE OUT YOUR TIME AND PICK-UP-POINT EMAIL PATIENCE at patience@kindnessgirl.com. Instructions will be e-mailed the week of June 25, 2012.
I will give you a time and a place to meet on Saturday the 30th. You show up at the location, with a friend or two in tow, follow the directions and have an amazing time.
All you need to bring is $5, yourself and an adventurous spirit.
There will be 10 missions in each kit and you and your team will complete one within the hour. Mostly they are very easy. Like picking wild flowers and handing them to strangers or writing three letters and sticking them under random doorsteps. The kit explains all the pieces. Then you will hand off the kit to the next team and they will continue to spread the kindness.
If you want to share the amazing and kind things happening in real time, we recommend a cell phone or digital camera — disposable photos take some time to develop.
The kindness is goin’ down in RVA friends… and we can’t wait.
You can find out more about the American Bear documentary and Guerrilla Goodness here:
www.americanbearfilm.com
www.iamakindstranger.com
www.guerrillagoodness.com
To sign up for the event and all the latest info, head on over to the RVA KC Facebook Event page!
this week…
June 18, 2012
well, last week, but you know…
Don’t forget the Summer Kindness Challenge for Kids starts today! It’s a week of kindness and family love for our Dads. Would love to have you join us!
I didn’t know…
June 17, 2012
last year’s Father’s Day gift
I knew you would be a good father, you were playful and kind…
but I didn’t know how tender you would be…
how you would see things about them I couldn’t see…
how wise you would be about all the parts and stages of growing up…
how deeply connected they would be to you…
how you would ground our family, be the foundation of love…
how your integrity would guide us…
how each child we had would make me love you even more…
just how proud and honored I would be to be partners in loving these dear people together…
happy father’s day Jorge
kindness magic kids: the dad challenge!
June 16, 2012
Lucy’s Father’s Day card
The Magic Wand Project for Kids continues to grow so we thought it might be fun to invite all the kids that have already found or made wands to keep the goodness going by offering a few kindness challenges this summer.
What’s our first challenge you ask?! Kindness to DADS! Tomorrow is Father’s Day but we thought we could keep the love going for the whole week. 7 days of Kindness Magic for our dads.
So here is how it works:
1. You find an old or recycled jar and make a label for the front.
2. Download our Kindness Magic for Dads! cards, cut them out and drop them in the jar.
3. Pick one each day to do for your dad, grandpa, uncle or some other kind friend that has loved you (maybe even your mom if she does both jobs!) 🙂 . Here is a funny card from the challenge- it’s a love bomb for dad that involves pictures. Make signs that say… “We love you when…”, then leave the pics all over the house for your dad to find!
4. Have fun and send us picture of kindness or even just a picture of you and your dad at The Magic Project for Kids Facebook Page.
We LOVE you Dads and can’t wait to share our kindness with you!
guerrilla goodness: do for dad…
June 15, 2012
My dad felt really far from me as a little girl, maybe because he actually was or maybe because when you are little everything feels big- like work travel and soul distance. I had a hard time shaking that feeling as it spilled over onto my heart over the years. I knew he loved me, but I don’t remember him knowing what I liked on my sandwich or my boy problems, or feeling a sense of relief from his care.
But every time we he was home or we were together, there was pure delight in his eyes for all of me. My teenage self could not quite reconcile the two, so I picked up brick by brick to build around my heart, I also grabbed some judgement to keep with me while I hid behind it. There was only black and white for me, no grays of life allowed…no understanding of how a difficult start in this world can shift and change you or how hardships can make it hard to know how to connect with each other….how your cards are dealt and you play the best way you know how.
So my dad held tight to love and delight and brokenness while I held pain and anger.
It wasn’t until my own fall that I could see my dad and his love in a new way. It created a crack in my fortress. I was 19, completely in love with Jorge, and pregnant. Sleeping with your boyfriend (and irresponsibly), not to mention any sex before marriage was a HUGE no-no in my conservative growing up world, with much shame and guilt…and secrets. He may have never even known any of it ever happened, but found a medical discharge paper from the miscarriage left in the car a week later.
He was worried, he didn’t know what the medical jargon meant, but he knew it wasn’t good. I was shocked by his response.
“Oh honey, you are just two kids in deep, deep love. It’s okay, you tell Jorge I wanna shake his hand and tell him I am sorry this all happened to you both.” …and he hugged me.
Not a hint of judgement…or even disappointment…just pure, very unconditional love. I didn’t even know what to say. I held every flaw of his so close and now he was blowing mine away with the wind, leaving only love.
The redemption was profound. …and still it took time, but it had created a small space for love and time to heal me and to really see him. He called, I didn’t always return, he listened, he called again, taking one brick down at a time…and I realized his love for me had really never changed, it was always that pure, that kind…but the way we found each other did, our brokenness lead us to the same path. He never gave up.
I don’t really know if there is anyone else on the planet that loves me quite like my dad does, no one cheers and stands so boldly and loudly behind me…I am so grateful for his persistence and sheer joy for me. …and for all I have learned from his love and life.
So here is the mission:
Write a love letter to your dad…tell the whole story, whether it was rocky or smooth, beautiful and old, whether he is dead or alive, thank him for what he taught you both from his goodness and from his broken places…or tell him what you wish it could have been, it all counts.
If you think he needs or would love to hear it, hide the letter in his pocket or jacket, or the glove compartment or on top of the credenza…or send it to your mom for her to hide it for you…
OR if you are not (or maybe never will be) ready to for that, hide the note in a newspaper or leave it on a park bench, coffee house or the hardware store…some dad (or son or daughter) will find it and know…and sit with you in that place for just a moment.
Thank you dads for loving us and caring, we honor you this weekend.
Feel free to share stories of your dad in the comments.
this week…
June 12, 2012
well last week, but you know…
monday gratitude…
June 11, 2012
Really good things for today my friends:
1. Kindnessgirl.com got a small and lovely mention in the July issue of Good Housekeeping in their article on Kindness…it’s a great article with lots of great ideas. Check it out on page 126 next to the orange crayon! Woohoo!
2. Kindness Captured: A Day of Bravery and Kindness, our kindness adventure in 4 cities on June 30th, has an invite up on Facebook for those in RVA! If you want to host this event in your city, e-mail me at patience@kindnessgirl.com and I’ll send you the invite and information.
The city host role (is 1 or 2 people) involves:
Creating a Facebook event page and managing it.
Inviting friends and people in your city to join you.
Answering e-mails and questions about interest in the event.
Organizing who will be where and when.
We’ll have a kit explaining it all but I just thought it might be good to know what it all involves!
The rest of you kindness people: Just show up with 5 bucks at the time and location you are given and be ready to do a kindness mission! Yay! (you have to send me your e-mail address so I can send you all the info!
3. Magic Wand is rollin’! We are working on some in-city wand making parties at some of your favorite places and festivals in RVA this summer!
4. I finally, after much resistance, added an “about me” page. I decided it would be SOoooo much better if it was about US….so please head on over there, read mine and then add yours in the comments. It’s always been about us anyway.
What bit of gratitude is rising for you today…on this Monday? Please tell us in the comments below, gratitude is contagious.
grateful for these 2 babies of their families today…
it’s always the ice cream after…
June 10, 2012
“How did it go? Are you okay?” I asked as he walked into the waiting room.
“It was okay, it was definitely weird, but I’m okay.” he replied.
The lovely woman lead me back her office to hear the results. She was extremely gentle and kind as she explained exactly where he fell on the bell curve. Careful to express his strengths and gingerly tell me the places where growth might be needed. It was an intelligence test.
I finally relieved her.
“Dr. _________, I have to tell you, I totally appreciate what you do but I really do not care about this test AT ALL. I just want him to feel loved and be kind and grateful.” I said.
“Ohhhhh, well that is music to my ears.” she replied. She looked a little shocked and delighted at the same time.
…and a few days later, it was time for an awards dinner for this same boy who called the intelligence test weird, a lovely award…the only in his school. Awards are sort of a mixed bag because the truth is, you love your kid and are hella proud even if no one ever gets a plaque with their name carved in it, or a paper saying how great you are or how hard you worked. …and then there are moments when awards hold the space to celebrate the part of your kid that makes him or her special or dear.
…but that day I looked around, he seemed unaffected by the accolade…and yet more touched when Jorge helped him tie his tie, then held his face and kissed him…right in the middle of all the grouchy chaos of getting the family dressed up and out the door on time.
…when his brother turned and looked at him with wide eyes of pride every time they congratulated the honorees as if to say, “they are talkin’ about YOU” during the ceremony.
…when his Marmie bought a plane ticket to come see his moment, because she just does that…even if it means she has to work double the hours at her job.
…when it is more exciting to get ice cream/yogurt after than it was to get the actual award. The place is rad and seems the more appropriate place to celebrate any way….more like us.
…when your mom insists on taking a picture with you because she has none…and you know it will mean something to her (and you) when you are old. …and you even let her hold you tight, and too long.
…when your dad wears his bad ass sunglasses and lets you try them on and you imagine what it feels like to maybe be like him some day.
…and you forget what was ever said at that ceremony, or that award but you remember the family pride and deep love that was held for you…and how weird that intelligence test was.
“
the wand making party and kindness magic everywhere!
June 6, 2012
Guys! Kindness magic is EVERYWHERE…like every where I turn there are more wands, more magic, more kindness from The Magic Wand Project for Kids. (we think there are close to 1,000 magic kindness wands out!)
…we ran out of wands and funds over here but that does NOT stop kindness…we decided to have a wand making party. The neighborhood kids were all about it and created their own magic in the process.
For the wands:
Sticks
Wood dowels (that we spray painted silver)
Those skinny green bamboo sticks that you use in the garden also work great
For the stars:
I just drew a star freehand, although there are lots of star templates on the internet, we just cut ours out from some recycled cardboard
Some craft stores also sell wood star cutouts
Foam sheets are another great option
We found some lovely glitter paint so we didn’t have to mess with actual glitter although glitter is super magical!
For the pretty:
Glitter
Buttons- beware of choking hazards though!
Googly eyes
Feathers- oh, how I adore feathers
To put them together:
We used hot glue which won’t exactly make them weather proof but we thought they will still hold up well in doors.
We laminated (which was so exciting!) the tags- that you can download here– hole punched them and attached with a clear zip tie. We then cut the extra length of the zip tie off.
Make a wish:
Don’t forget to make a wish that just the right kid will find the wand and that more kindness will make a way to the place it is needed most.
We added a bit of our love and sent them out into the world. I think the thing I am most amazed by is how kids of all ages seem to love this project…and how it has opened my own heart to think about magic and kindness in a new way! LOVE!!!
We thought you might like to see how the magic is unfolding for kids across the nation, pictures and stories are coming in daily on The Magic Wand Project Facebook page. Here are just a few magical kids!
The response from teachers and schools has been so fantastic that we created The Magic Wand Project Teacher Guide. I hope we see lots of kindness pop up in summer school and even more wand making parties!
You can download The Teacher Guide here. (thanks to Lourdes and Jennifer for helping on the tech end with that!)
You are also welcome to share the video too!
Special thanks to our friends at Macaroni Kid Richmond who have helped to spread the word and to all the schools and teachers (and kind kids) that are joining us in all the magic!
Keep all the pictures coming! They do all our hearts some serious good! Kindness is MAGIC!
xo,
patience
blast from the past: the curse of capability…
June 5, 2012
from July 28, 2008
wish I knew who took this amazing picture so I could credit
The ant…I understand this tiny being. It is said they can carry 10, 20 and even 50 times their own body weight. This makes them very remarkable. I’ve been at war with whole colonies in my kitchen lately and yet sometimes I just watch in awe. So many of them, working so hard, carrying so much. I can kind of relate.
It seems I have acquired, inherited, been gifted, whatever you want to call it, the curse of capability. I can carry and juggle quite a bit before I drop anything or things fall apart. Maybe it is some inner self value I’ve held on to, at the very least to try, give everything I have, keep carrying on. Withholding any bit of myself feels like withholding my love.
While this is usually a good thing and has served me well, in the wrong circumstances it can be disastrous. My vision of wants and needs gets all meshed together with both strangers and people I love. All I can see in every room is need, the kind that is as plain as the nose on your face and the tiny one hiding behind your heart. It all looks like need to me, it’s hard to distinguish want.
But when I find myself alone in a room with my own need, an awkward conversation ensues.
“Hey Need, how’s it goin’, I’m patience.” we shake hands and I shift in my seat nervously.
Need stares at me, we sit in silence….”Okay, I’m going to be heading out now, nice meeting you.”, while I make a beeline for the door.
I rarely ever see want, I’ve heard of her but she feels more like a rockstar that rolls into town ever so often, the concerts and hotel parties are amazing but feel indulgent.
I start to wonder about this part of myself as life unravels around me. I wonder just because I can do something, does it mean I should do it? I start to imagine what might happen if I put my load down for just a minute. I’m learning to allow space to find out. Maybe there are more ants like me, ones I haven’t even met yet. The kind that know when and how much to pick up and don’t carry a curse.
The interesting thing about curses is they only have power if you give it to them. They seem big and overwhelming but mostly they just like you to feed them. They die when the power is cut off and taken back.
So today I sit longer with Need and try to get to know her. I invite Want to come over and play, we eat brownie sundaes and lay around together. I tell the curse I have nothing to offer him today, he leaves in a huff and I return to watch the ants.
this week…
June 3, 2012
well, last week….but you know…
love me like this…
June 2, 2012
“Sooooo, what do you want for your birthday?” I asked cheerfully.
“Ummm, nothin’.” he replied.
Oh my lord. This has been his answer for every birthday and Christmas for at least the last 20 years. And I never listen to him, and then there were the years where I painstakingly listened for clues on which electronic gadget I should buy only to have him buy it for himself 2 days before the holiday.
I still love to argue this maddening topic but I kept it cool.
“Well…how about a backyard party, ya know, just a few people…” I said. Inside my head this meant a Pinterest worthy garden party with 5 different amazing salads, cheeses I can’t pronounce, an insane wine I know nothing about and beef tenderloin or something else ridiculous. And by golly, there would be a shockingly beautiful table with meaningful touches at every turn…and dancing and sparklers to close the evening…you know, like a wedding but for a guy, on his birthday.
“Yeah, like burgers and beer? You know we have that giant blue plastic bucket, it’s good for beer and we can use the tiki torches. I just don’t want you to, you know, be all stressed out and stuff. ” he replied.
“ME? Stressed out before a party?!! NOoooo….” I laughed and he hugged me tight.
Okay, I’m gonna do it, I’m actually gonna give him what he wants…yes, I can do that. Well, almost. I started to Pinterest, just a bit and realized it was pointless. I could settle on pulled pork and beans, corn and slaw, and summer beer…but I couldn’t totally get rid of pretty.
I spent all day cleaning up the secret garden, and set a table with the colors of his new company and a large picture of he and Lucy, wishing I could put little story starters or notes of love for Jorge at each place setting…but I didn’t, and I didn’t even buy a cake or presents. I only got the slightest bit stressed at the end when our friends started to arrive and I still hadn’t showered.
He walked outside, summer beer in hand.
“Soooo, what do you think?” I asked.
“It’s great babe, it kinda looks like I died, but I like it!” he said as he looked at the table with the giant picture.
And it did, it totally looked like he died.
“Oh Jorge Salgado, everyone should know how much they are loved BEFORE they die!”
he laughed…and even in my feeble attempts to love him how he wants to be loved I can only almost get it right…
…and yet this dear man who needs no fan fare, only a cold beer on a sticky night, yummy food on paper plates, kids crawling on his lap and leaving to chase fireflies, a good razzing or story and his family and friends close…it’s all he’s ever wanted and needed to feel loved.
…to be loved like this.
my birthday love song for you my partner and friend:
Are you a birthday kind of person? Do you like them big and grand or quiet and meaningful? Tell me in the comments, I’m taking an unofficial poll. or even better, do you have some one that you care about that you are stumbling through trying to love them right?
ALSO!! Hey RVA friends, I just hid one of these in the back sleeve of the DVD copy of The Sound of Music at Westover Hills Library! If you find it, it’s yours! But take a pic and send it to me at patience@kindnessgirl.com!
Kindnessgirl 