Kindnessgirl

her: Do you wanna pick flowers with me?
me: yes!

Is there ever a time when I do not want to pick something, anything? Hardly anything grows in our yard except long grass, so long that we are “those neighbors” on the street. Yet Lucy and I have 2 flowering trees, I don’t even know what kind but various times through out the year something  is blooming or trying to…and we will pick what ever it is. She sings, warbles off key like Snow White while I listen and smile.

It is deep in her, the joy of seeing something beautiful and taking part to carry the joy to a new place that is longing for something fresh.

so we pick…and I find I don’t want to do much else these days…except maybe…

text Josiah all day long as we unlock a whole new level of conversation and connection

laugh at Lyra’s animal sounds as they are the most wonky you have ever heard

dance with Jack in the living room to the silly fireflies song

wander the thrift store for pretty (and insanely cheap) dresses to wear to fancy parties 

take more and even more pictures making me feel less like a photography poser every day

make lemon bars and worship how delightfully addicting they are

sit in the sun by the river watching kids deeply immersed in the bliss of nature

go ding dong ditchin’

hold smooth river rocks in my hand

getting up with the sun to pick strawberries

dream up new short videos I want to make

eat roasted veggies, fresh fruit, something cheesy and finish with sweets for every meal

try to forget, think, let go of half of all that is in my head

be held

…and another week goes by that I’m out of touch, not keeping up, behind…no kindness revolution, no book writing, no speaking, no networking, doing nothing that all the movers and shakers are religiously doing to build empires…sometimes I worry if it will all still be there but then I see a berry, hear the little girl warble, get a new idea and feel the ground move, cracking open to reveal even more…more trust, more magic, more faith to follow all that is right before me.

I’m discovering I can take pictures or write, but not both at the same time. My brain has lost all ability to string words together to create meaning, so I’ve been taking lots of pictures…and settling down into family life. There are kindness projects in the works and new learning that is spawning some big plans I can’t wait to share but for now it’s been a week of cats, sticking my foot in my mouth and family friendship.

The tiny cat strolled up to our door on Monday night. The kids were out of their minds and played with him for hours. I suddenly turned into my mother or father yelling, “Absolutely NOT!” out the window.
“Please don’t say you are nervous about the cat!” Lucy wailed, “You can’t be nervous about it!”
“I am Luce, I am nervous no one will take care of this cat, like no one takes care of the dog.” I replied.
“We can get rid of the dog mom!” she said. Like this will solve my problem.

The cat disappeared as quickly as he came leaving everyone devastated, until Friday. It was a sign, he was back, even I was warming up to him. He was a nice little cat. The kids named him Silver…and 42 minutes later our new neighbor came over.
“You met my cat!” she said cheerfully as four tiny faces fell. “His name is Monkey!”
“oh.” was the collective reply.
I liked Silver better.

This article got me into a heap of trouble this week. It was written pretty impulsively, completely off the cuff yet kind of honest. I mentioned a question I had in my head (when we were considering our school options years ago) about homeschool kids being a little weird, but wondering if it was a “good” weird.
Oh, to try to get my foot out of my mouth on that one was near impossible. Who wants to be called weird, and even worse who wants their kid to be called weird?!!! I know, I know. The stereotype was perpetuated, feelings hurt, it was a disaster. No sooner than I hit the send button on my e-mail, did my life instantly become a homeschool experiment. The universe is funny that way.

The truth is lately we have been considering the homeschool option more than ever, my son Josiah is practically begging. I think my own fear of if-we-do-this-will-it-make-my-kid-weird feelings are in overdrive. Throw a little ignorance in there and you have a recipe for disaster. Please forgive me homeschoolers and please feel free to share your own thoughts and fears about homeschool before you took the plunge in the comments.

I don’t know or think we will do it for 322 other reasons but the whole drama ignited a little fire in me to be present with my kids in a deeper and more meaningful way. Let’s just say we are gently exploring…barely, maybe.

Josiah, Jack and I were all up at the crack of dawn on Sunday morning when I decided to make pancakes.
“Can I help?” Jack said.
“Sure!” I replied.
“Can it be like a lesson mom?” He asked. (we have been having “get some manners” lessons at dinner because I realized the children are practically babarians. The kids strangely love them, it’s like cotillion, Salgado style, without the debutants)
“Yes! We are doing pretend homeschool, on the weekends, but not, really.” I answered.

They both cheered and we went on to make pancakes and let the math, science and measuring goodness unfold. There was SO much pancake pride floating around, you could feel it in the air…and smell it. Surprisingly, they are MUCH better at making them than I am, especially after I explained that there is a pancake dud in every batch (3 or 4 in my case).
I instructed everyone to have recess after we were done which was a wild hit. Oh homeschool, you are lovingly weird and maybe partly wonderful…

Every once in a while, Jorge will do something so incredibly sweet and endearing that I’m literally speechless and this covers any assholery the man has ever committed. It is usually delivered in a quiet, round-a-bout way. This week he came home and up the stairs and laid 2 small bracelets on the bed.
“I got somethin’ for you.” he said “Give me your hand.”
It was a brightly colored bracelet like the kind we made in the 6th grade.
“What is this?” I said as he tied the neon red, pink and purple bracelet around my wrist.
“It’s a friendship bracelet.”
I instantly was returned to puppy love and girlhood. I went downstairs to get the kids ready to go out and realized he gave one to everyone in the family. I’m telling you, family friendship is where it’s at people…wonder twin powers activate.

and so goes another week in this crazy and beautiful life…

she whispers in my ear:

don’t tell the boys but the girls are rock and roll, that’s you and me…and maybe papa if he doesn’t tell the boys.

take this flower, we are rock and roll…

on my 10th mother’s day there was…

a field of purple wild flowers

a cool breeze for early morning strawberry picking

handmade presents made with such care

a needy baby

a family video expressing thanks and love

a touch of sadness

a new altar complete with a family rock we found at the river

our wishes written on the rock for spring

a sick papa

an inbetween feeling of happy, tired, weary and very,very loved

I missed this little guy’s entrance into the world by 10 minutes because his mama was so incredible and suprised us all! Thank you Alexis and David for being so understanding and allowing me to hang around to capture those first sweet moments…I’m still in awe of you all.

As women, there is a space and moment where we sit knowing, seeing,  feeling all that is before us… bringing life into the world, surrendering every last inch of our bodies, facing our biggest fears, unlocking a whole new part of ourselves, stepping into becoming, the beginning of being …and in the most intense place, or in the total bliss, there she sits. She is “with woman”…a midwife.

Letting it unfold, helping us find our way, guarding our bodies, space and safety, believing in the power of women, babies, and in being completely invested in the most amazing part of our humanity.  So this day, May 5th, we invite you to honor Midwives around the world.

Join OmMama as we give our offerings of kindness to Midwives for Haiti on behalf of the great joy it is to both hold the space for women everywhere to know this kind of love and care that midwives offer and learn all our Haitian friends have to teach us about togetherness and birth.

If you would like to celebrate, join us this Saturday at the Oh Mama! Birth and Baby Fair at the Lewis Ginter Recreation Association from 10am-2pm.

*I will be offering a mini-photography session for baby/kids at the raffle, digital copies included. Hope you can make it!

It’s almost here…my sisters and I over at www.PBSParents.org are getting ready for the Supersisters Great Day of Gratitude on May 5th to show our appreciation to teachers across our country.

Now is our chance to say “Thanks!” to teachers, librarians, administrative staff, crossing guards, and janitors for all they do and how they care for our kids. You can even be sneaky about it. We just went to pick strawberries so we thought our teachers might enjoy some fresh picked goodness to go along with our thanks. We folded paper boxes and made signs that said “Thank You Berry Much!” which the kids thought was hilarious.

If you plan to join us, share your pictures of your gratitude projects on our Flickr Pool.

this found its way to my doorstep at just the right moment…I wondered if maybe you might need to know too.

thank you dear kindness worker.

Keith talking to his new daughter just moments after she was born…

There is a space and time where happiness takes up every inch, every last part of you, it has complete control of your soul…and oh my…oh my.

I have found the current marriage magic….it’s always changing but worth constantly trying to find. It’s his and hers old people cruiser bikes. I’m telling you, riding your bike down a hill in spring with a cool breeze on your face watching your man ahead of you will send anyone into pure bliss mode. …that and making out, really making out, like the old days. …and for the love of all things sexy, never call it “date night” or day for that matter.

Stop all excuses and choose play, it solves a multitude of marriage funkness… it will send you to all the places you started and need to be.

Oh my…what an amazing birth and the love, oh the love this couple had. Thank you Donna and Laurence for allowing me to be part of such a special night.

She folded her hands like she usually does when something is about to happen. It comes quietly and with a gentle strength…”I think this is going to be holy…” she said. And it is, for these women know just how to call it, in the quiet, in the chaos, in the dark, in hope, in despair, in truth, in mystery, in fear, in strength, in weakness, in power, in love, in kindness…they just know.

Just hours earlier I had called teary, overwhelmed and exhausted, so engrossed in myself completely forgetting it was her birthday. I could barely get over my own assholery. “Please come over for birthday breakfast, please come.” she said after a pathetic apology text. Almost all of my ashamed self was shouting loudly to stay home, totally horrified by my behavior but I went because I would pretty much cut off my right arm for her. So I went and we chatted and she pulled out a tiny flowering tea ball. Before I knew it my other dear friend brought Aunt Mary Lou’s lace and sparkling candle holders, we arranged her fresh roses and daisies and just like that, the birthday altar unfolded before our eyes.

We watched as the boiling water opened the flower slowly. “You just have to add water, it’s all we really have to do…” We reminisced of just the year before when everything was so dark and hard, we talked of the journey of walking out together, sometimes carrying each other, and I wondered how I was even standing in this moment. Beside these women. The people who know the darkest parts of me and yet love all of it, the women who can hold so much, such wisdom and grace, and more intuition than even I can imagine.

We wrote our blessings…”Write one for yourself too…” she said…and I did. We lit the old candle that has burned many a flame for all our hearts have held, we sipped our tea and read our blessings to her…it will be so. Amen. …and we scooped up babies and scurried to pick up children from preschool. The beauty of the sacred unfolding, living our lives together, offering the greatest blessing we have…each other.

you can see more pics from the birthday blessing here.

Compassion brings us to a stop, and for a moment we rise above ourselves.
~Mason Cooley

…the real kindness work is within ourselves, in that opening of our own hearts. and once you are truly practicing this extreme love, this ahimsa, others around you will too. those are the big guns. when the drop of water that begins on the tip of a leaf reaches the ocean, it is still the drop of water, but it is also the ocean. we are all the drop of water and the ocean. -Sara Heifetz

I’ve been lost all week, reeling in my head and dropping grenades everywhere I turned. It was the kind of week of such emotional intensity, even higher than my usual state if you can imagine such a thing, my heart and head trying to push through anger and frustration…and then I read that the Westboro Baptist Church is coming to town. A group using deep hate to express themselves, going for the jugular on so many levels. They plan to protest our local Holocaust Museum, our Jewish Community Center, a local temple and high school this Tuesday, March 2nd in our Richmond, our RVA. I instantly felt a sort of shock this exists in the world, my energy shifting to wrap my mind around it.

All day I thought about kindness and wondered…Is kindness strong enough for this? Would it really change everything? What can we do to turn this on it’s side? I felt genuinely perplexed…I know it’s there, I can feel it but I just can’t quite see it. So I sat quietly in my kindness dark for a bit…

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that.” Dr. King

…and after talking to some fellow mama’s, my friend Sarah heard of an idea that some brilliant folks in NYC had. For every minute these signs were held in the air they asked folks to contribute to a fund that would benefit the very people who are meant to be the targets. Thousands of dollars were raised for just a 30 minute protest. So my friends Sarah, Sara, Jess and I dreamed of what might happen if we invited our friends and our whole city to do the same. 

Every penny would be an offering of kindness reminding us that we will choose love and believe it will conquer all.

Within 2 hours, Sarah created a website,  wrote a press release and we all started to get the word out. It seems lots of people believe the same, here we are 24 hours later holding $2000 in open hands.   

And yet there is part of me that felt so conflicted as we are turning this dark thing into light, knowing I continue to struggle with my own unrest in my frustrated heart from earlier this week. All of it starts to connect after reading Sara’s words, while my actions have not taken me to a place to carry any sign with such hate, yet my own angry heart is holding a big brightly colored sign begging for love and kindness. …and so the kindness light is brighter than ever. In tiny pennies, in everyday troubles, and even in the deepest hate, LOVE is alive…

If you would like to join us in making an offering of kindness go to Pennies in Protest or join us as we talk more and share ideas on our Facebook Fan page  

If there is any part of you holding some shred of doubt,

you should know…you are the one.

you are the one who can do the thing, whatever it is…

whispering or screaming loudly in your heart,

you have everything it takes,

and all you need,

you can trust yourself.

you can believe without any shame or fear…

you can say it out loud and show all it holds because…

you are the one.

(and it’s going to be great)

from the lovely lydia

Perfect placement-On the Glee Soundtrack! I love you Allen-Shorts!

more from the Allen Shorts!

From the ever creative Lucia Hardy Clan:

From awesome Erica who spread the word from Atlanta all the way to Chicago:

Check out the rest of the pics in the Guerrilla Goodness Flickr Pool! Even if you didn’t take pictures let me know in the comments if you went and what city/town so I can add it to the list. I’ll be talking about kindness on Tuesday morning on our local news show Virginia This Morning and it would be good to share how far our project is reaching! Happy Valentine’s Day dear friends! May all your kindness be returned 10-fold!

Special thanks to storyteller Slash Coleman who has told all his friends…and then some! 😉

There was a minor crack in the snow bliss today…the snow being beautiful as ever but I was losing it. Maybe it was the stomach bug during the week or the 10th consecutive day inside or the push pull of toodlerhood and acrobatic nursing or the children literally tying each other up but whatever it was, I was way past the edge.

“I don’t want you to do it mom, papa can help us, you’ve had a hard day.” Jack said as he headed downstairs to get ready to play outside in the snow. This is how you know you have expressed all your annoyance too well…and you can’t exactly help it because it’s how feel, even if you don’t want to.

“Oh Jackie! It’s alright, I can help you.”

So we all went out at dusk, just when the snow stopped falling. While we can’t keep the lawn mowed in the spring, we are always the first on the street to have our sidewalks shoveled. The boys made snow angels, Lucy shoveled snow paths to nowhere and Lyra chased me while I tried to take pictures of the sparkle of snow.

This is everything you signed up for and didn’t all at the same time, the quiet snow falling over you like a blanket, the crazy strung out kids, the tiny birds finding shelter in our small tree, the thoughtful kind boy worried for the well being of others, the toddler who wants endlessly, falling apart with your partner and friend…a snowy night.

feeling this dear friend from far away as she feels those she holds dear and the place she began even closer… hope we all can offer what we have to help…

My tiny winter altar…a little space on the mantle with fortunes, blessing rocks from friends, Guadalupe and some tiny gifts from nature. It is everything I am inviting every time I walk by the little box…so small and yet so big at the same time.

Other sacred spaces had a much longer road to travel before coming into being…So we had this room, it was a sunroom morphed into an office really. Nobody went in it very often, it held some old memories we have grown out of but weren’t quite ready to let go of. It’s the kind of thing where you start to just sort through papers and are left wondering why you feel so exhausted until you realize it was life you were combing through… But we did this work, pushing through making a clearing for something new. I find this is the perfect time to call in a wish, or claim some new territory in your heart, or finally give some space to something longing…and we did.

We always had this shelf of art supplies over the years but visiting my creative friend’s house made me realize it deserved a home of it’s own for our kids. It’s the point where a supply shelf turns into a studio and your art turns into a way of life requiring a place to grow.

The kids are delirious…they can’t stop sharpening pencils and taping things. The old silver box monster finally has a home, recycle sculptures are popping up and stick figure family portraits are lining the refrigerator. It all feels very free and new, honoring the everday makes it all feel like something more, maybe even something sacred.

I had the honor of capturing the birth of a sweet baby girl this weekend…an amazing couple, beautiful baby…thank you Stacy and Tina!

Lucy (age 4) playing polly pockets in the back seat:

“Oh, I picked you to get married because you are the best…”

I feel you girl….I did the same thing.

I’ve been so in love with black and white photography lately…well actually, I’m pushing through a new level of learning in my photography and my color work has been terrible lately, terrible. So after hours of messing with a bad picture and discovering what I’m doing wrong, I throw that bad boy into b&w and I’m in love again.

Everything simplified, showing you only what matters…maybe this is how we learn. Working hard or just stumbling along, sorting, growing and then returning to a simple place to enjoy what is so clearly before us. We need each part and draw out certain stages depending on what our soul is requiring, and what the universe has in store.

Today it is clear, tomorrow gray, a future of color and everything in between.

photo by jorge salgado

It all ways happens after a run of good art, productivity, dreaming….something happens, something small or big, it doesn’t matter. The old tapes start to play. The mental tape that asks you what the hell you are doing, or who do you think you are, or this is all you are, or maybe you can’t do what you think you can or not that well…and you wonder how you can feel so strong one minute and so fragile the next…today it was about my photography, and for Josiah it was multiplication.

The tapes plays loud or quiet, just enough to hear in the background of life. So we held each other and told each other the truth, because the truth always sets you free….and then we watched this:

we both felt a little better…

art by Griffin

I just adore this fresh spin on the 365 photo project…pure loveliness.

All he wanted for his 7th birthday were krispy kreme donuts and clementines…easy peasy. So Josiah, Lucy and I got up early to decorate and make a donut cake of sugary goodness.