Kindnessgirl

I was way excited to show this picture I took in Vermont to my friend Jess. I felt like a school girl showing my teacher my prettiest drawing. Jess is an insane nature photographer among a bunch of other things. Her gifts are like the size of a billboard or have been written by a sky writer on the horizon, and yet sometimes I wonder if she can see how wondrous she truly is….so today I am hella excited, she actually said yes when I asked her to guest post on Supersisters. Go check it, and enjoy the magic that is nature and Jess.

What do you do when unkindness strikes? The kind that hurts your heart in a deep place. I’m always kind of stunned by this and deeply saddened. Especially when it is cloaked in something else and it’s hard to see at first that you just got screwed over. So vague right? sorry.

I’m not sure what to do except sit in the pain for a little while…and look at it, wonder how it happened, try to understand, and cry, and look at flowers, and hold babies, and let big strong love in the form of your husband’s arms hold you, and try to move on…try really, really hard.

Remind yourself that kindness can change everything, everything.

I didn’t find this fortune in a cookie after sweet and sour chicken or wonton soup, it was laying in the grass at the strawberry patch. I find most of my soul there so it made perfect sense. You might say that this is the fortune of my life, that maybe the entire universe might be a friend even just for a moment, nothing makes me happier.

It’s been a long week. I’ve been pretty down, it’s nothing major, just one of those times when you are so aware of just how much sh*t you still need to work through. Like the kind that settles in the tub at the end of a nice bath or the backwash in your drink after a kid takes a swig. I’m very tired, like a soul tired.

It has been nothing I can hide or feel like talking about, so I’ve been hibernating. Most of my exchanges being with strangers, which feels appropriate right now…

My New Toll Friend

I drove up to the toll to get over the bridge.

Toll Friend: Hi, how are you?

Me: Bad.

TF: Did you say bad?!

Me: Yeah. It’s not going so good.

TF: Oh girl, it’s gonna be alright.

Me: Thanks…

Next day, same time, same girl.

TF: Hi, how are you?

Me: Better, you were right.

TF: You remembered me?!

Me: Of course, I believed you, I needed that. Thank you.

TF: I know how it can be…

Me: See you tomorrow? same time?

TF: Sounds good girl!

Sometimes I feel like the whole world is trying to be kind to me…and I am so grateful, you have no idea.

8:00am- Lyra is whining. Must have just woken up.

8:05am- Lyra still whining, a whimper actually. I call for Jorge to get her.

8:08am- Jorge finally goes to get her because it takes him three minutes to start to do anything.

“Pache, come see this.”

Lyra is under the middle of the king sized bed. Whimpering because every time she starts to crawl out she hits her head on the wooden bed slats. The child fell off the bed (onto a large pillow, ummm, this might have happened once before), didn’t make a peep and crawled under the bed to get out. Yes, we are the best.parents.ever.

We send these pencils in peace and love. by Roman, age 6

Kids in Utah decided to sell some toys at a yard sale to earn money to buy even more pencils.

A friend in North Carolina had a party and charged pencils at the door. She collected 5 times what she was expecting.

A little girl in Florida wrapped her pencils in her old hair bows to make them pretty AND send the girls something to wear too because girlfriends do that for each other.

A woman in Northern Samar discovered happiness can be found in small things, like pencils and pens.

And everyone involved found HOPE is real. and simple and true. Thank you Nortehanon, for inviting us into your Pens of Hope project.

We collected hockey pencils! thanks Kristin…

We put our pictures on them so you know what we look like…

We collected pencils of all kinds, who knew there were so many?

These pencils have power in them.
We sent our power in these pencils…

Your fellow peeps from the Filippino-American Association of Central Virginia and The Philippine Nurses Association have your back in a BIG way, like a thousands of pencils kind of way.

And here we are, with 8,918 new reasons to hope. We made tiny offerings and big offerings, we send our friendship and joy to all our friends in Northern Samar. Thank you everyone for all you are and all you did…much peace to you and those you love.

WE did it…and so much more!!!!!

patience

Today we are celebrating…

Balloons– I woke up before I was supposed to, so I helped Jorge blow up 100 balloons in my living room for my celebration. Gotta leave it to the event manager husband to come up with the best idea to show you are loved and worth celebrating. Lucy was delirious…”Let’s get this party started!” she kept saying while twirling. And the ole’ sucking helium and singing like the chipmunks is the best silly fun! ever.

Responsible Giving– Let’s just say it was HUGE progress for my family to give me a gift within the budget. HUGE, huge progress people! and now I have a lovely starter nest egg for my super wow camera I’m going to buy after I’ve SAVED for it!

Dreams– a random conversation this morning , “I hope your dreams come true Jackie-boy.”  I said.

 “Me too, except the bad ones. But I’ve only had like 3 of those.” he replied.

I think our dreams are coming true. I’m waiting for one more phone call but I think we are gonna make our GOAL!!! We are at 3754 pencils but we have 2 BIG donation counts coming very soon. It looks like we will do it!!!!

A Mother’s Day Miracle– I’ve been feeling pretty low about a lot of things lately and I just knew the only thing that would help me is to pick strawberries….I’ve called every day this week hoping they would be ready. It was looking bleak, I tried one more time this morning and THEY ARE OPEN!!!! I can’t tell you what this means to me. I told the farmer it was a mother’s day miracle, he laughed and told me to “come on already!”

I hope you are feeling deeply loved if you are a mother, or should be a mother, or are a mother to the earth, the world, to those around you. May you been seen, really seen, for all that you are. May the joy of all your giving be returned to you today…

Eljah, Joy and Zac with their awesome pencil collection!!!

I have loved these kids since before they were born…I want to cry just seeing their faces with all those pencils! Thank you my dear friend, love to you all….

You can upload pictures of your pencils here.

I think we are at 2500, halfway to our goal of 5,000 pencils!!!! BUT I need to know your number if you are sending them straight to the Philippines. This way we can know exactly how much is left and race to the end.

Do you still want to be join our Pens of Hope project? Don’t worry, it’s not too late. I am now taking pencils from all over the country and will include them in one big box that will be mailed on May 15th! E-mail patience@kindnessgirl.com  for a mailing address if you would like to be included and please leave a comment telling me how many you are sending so we can announce our number by  May 10th.

Wooohoooo, I think we are going to do it guys!

Thanks to all the tweeters, facebookers, and fellow friends and kindness workers…we are finding hope and connections in every nook and cranny of our planet, even our junk drawers…I think it’s because we all know even small and simple things like a pencil can change us and the world…

The magic of del– I can’t begin to tell you how awesome this kid is! His message attached to his pencils said- “Enjoy these pencils, I hope you have a sharpener!”

We are on the homestretch of this project. The pencils are coming in slowly and I have a few promises to collect on but honestly, I’m a little nervous. I KNOW we can do it but it’s time for the hustle friends. Gather all you got, the bundle you have been carrying around in your purse, the box sitting on a table in your foyer or the backseat of your car, now is the time for the trip with your kids to Target….Our  friends at the Organization of Young Filipino Americans at UVA are stepping up, so is this fabulous lady and her kind organization, not to mention all the cool kids in my city. Do you have any pencils you want to share? It isn’t too late but we have to gather our gifts for our friends soon (by May 10th).

If you are in Richmond, you can write me at patience@kindnessgirl.com for a super secret drop off address or you can mail your pencils directly to Nortehanon at

PENS OF HOPE
P.O. Box 16
Post Office, Bgy. Dalakit,
Catarman Northern Samar
6400

Remember! Nortehanon is not accepting money, just pencils- this keeps things easier for her. Don’t forget to add a message for the kids and now you can upload your pictures of you (and your pencils) to our Pens of Hope flickr pool. The race to the end is always my favorite….it’s gonna be great!

Leave me a comment telling me if you have already mailed or plan to mail something soon!

peace, joy and especially hope,

patience

Every time I see a particularly beautiful moon, I think of my friend Christa. She loves the moon, she knows it like an old friend and I am convinced it shines for her. Live music was created for my husband Jorge, his soul is revived by the sounds mixing together in the air. It’s pure joy to watch, let me tell you.

And right now, I can FEEL the earth growing the berries for me to pick. Did you know they grow for me …for me?! and I couldn’t feel more grateful.

and the ocean exists for my dad, and the sun shines for Anne, and on and on…

What breathes, lives, grows for you? I’d love to know…

The Paper Earth by Josiah, age 9

The Supersisters are all about the very awesome Kids Art Auction for Earth Day 2009 . You can even bid on Josiah’s submission shown in the picture above. All proceeds are going to The Nature Conservancy. We are bursting with pride over here, for our artist and the earth love going around. Check it out! and bid!!!

international travel+spontaneous dancing+sound of music mix= my nirvana

My friend Nortehanon and I live very far apart. She lives in the Philippines while I call Virginia home. We both come from big families, love children’s book and all things simple.  My favorite part of our friendship is how she teaches me her kind and gentle ways of loving her home and people. It all started when she wrote me last year to tell me about a project she was working on called Pens of Hope. Nortehanon (which is really what you call someone from the province of Northern Samar) gathered pens to take back to the kids of her town who really needed a very simple thing like pens for school.

Isn’t that great? Pens! These are special pens, they are pens of hope. I can only imagine what goodness can from writing, drawing, creating and learning, can you? It is such a lovely and simple idea, with so much hope wrapped up in it. I can’t tell you how excited I am about it. I am mostly excited about Nortehanon and our shared love of kindness work, so much so, that I’m dreaming one day I can go meet her in Northern Samar, in her hometown and pass out hope with her while I gather my own from new friends…until then I’m inviting you to join us in a Nortehanon and KindnessGirl Challenge.
Here we go:

Do you think we can collect 5,000 pens and pencils by Mother’s Day (Sunday, May 10th)? I think we can do it!

Here’s how:

You can find all the info here and see pics from the last project here. Nortehanon needs pencils this go around, so gather your kids, your grandmother, your dog and head out to buy pencils (the pretty glitter kind or regular old standard #2, colored too). This is a great opportunity for a neighborhood project, a recipient for lemonade stand profits, or other clever ideas your kids can come up with to gather funds to purchase the pencils. It’s perfect for students of all ages, for artists, for lovers of travel, for kindness workers, anyone who feels the call of friendship.

In every donation, please write a short note or send a picture, introduce yourself…make a friend!

You can mail them right to Nortehanon at this address:

PENS OF HOPE
P.O. Box 16
Post Office, Bgy. Dalakit,
Catarman Northern Samar
6400

or if you are in Richmond, you can write me at patience@kindnessgirl.com and I’ll give you an address of where to send them so we can send a big shipment together to Pens of Hope. I’m headed out to get a post office box today, it’s so thrilling!

If you would like to spread the word, you can grab a badge here.

Look for more info soon…and start collecting pencils and a little hope for all of us!!!!!

Growing up, my school sold magazine subscriptions as a fundraiser ever year. I can remember being so excited and not for the super cool whistle you could win if you sold 57,000 subscriptions. I hated selling anything and I’m pretty sure my mom hated it more. I was more excited about the triplicate forms and tiny stamp-like cut outs they sent home in the packet. These meant hours and hours of playing office. It all felt so official and important. I still love office and school supplies…go figure.

I’ve been thinking about the power of pretend lately. It’s a way to try our dreams on. I find myself pretending during the more mundane tasks of everyday life. Lately when I do the dishes, I pretend I’m greeting the guests walking through the door of the gallery showing of my birth photography. The room has soft light like my kitchen, the pictures are so big, so raw and powerful. I’m wearing something lovely that  has a gentle quality reflecting how I feel inside. I have a warm smile on my face and am overwhelmed and humbled by my experiences and the joy of getting to share it all. There are berries, lots of berries, and lemonade, and chocolate. Everyone has an amazing time looking at love and joy and power…

Who knows if it’s just pretend or dreaming, but it has become blurred somehow. What if we try on our dreams over and over again to gather the courage for them to actually happen? What if we decide to believe in pretend? It all feels so child like and beautiful.  I’m willing to keep trying and happy to wash lots of dishes in the mean time.

I know this girl. She can find hope anywhere, it’s her superpower. She can even see it in the darkest of places and days. It isn’t the cheesy kind either, it’s the kind that comes from residing in deep places, from living life with eyes wide open no matter what, from constantly looking for truth and love. When you hang around her the world starts to feel so different. You uncover things about yourself, about others, that you never saw before.

She has lots of dreams, so many that some times I wonder how her heart holds them all. Her latest dream invites the entire universe into her hope-full world. It’s so much bigger than her really, but she is a beautiful eye.  Who knows what can happen…

vote for hope and the girl here.

learn more here:

It was late and they were fighting again. Jack knows just how to push Lucy’s buttons to get that shriek out of her. I try to ignore it most of the time because that little girl can sure hold her own. This time however, she cried, it was the hurt feeling cry. It seemed the usual little sister and big brother bother had a little mean thrown into the mix. It was a sign something needed to be said.

“Jack, buddy, I think you’ve reached your limit my friend. I gotta take some Wii time away tomorrow.” I said.
There was a look of instant panic. It’s kind of rare at our house to have an actual punishment, lots of logical consequences but this, the Wii, it was a biggie. He started crying and it soon escalated into a full out tantrum. A tantrum at the age of six.

Read the rest here…

I really, really do not like pictures of myself. I always look at them and think, “Oh, I hope I’m cuter than that, yes, I’m definitely cuter than that.” And then I put it on the muppet-o-meter in my head. I have a sort of muppetesque looking quality to me but I measure each picture in my mind, “Hmm, yep, at least I don’t look too much like a muppet in that one.” The silly games I play in my head…

But for some reason I love this self portrait. I’m not exactly sure why but maybe because I think it might be one of the truest pictures I’ve ever taken. I look a little raw, and weathered, a little old. And I am, but suprisingly it’s okay. Each one of those tiny wrinkles came from love. From dark and joyous places, from living, from trying, from growing. There is nothing to cover, at least not today…

Luna – dog and friend to the Reavey-Gilbert’s

So there is this photography project called 365…a picture for everyday of the year. Except I’m late to the party, I’m always late to the party and usually this isn’t a bad thing. I like to think of it as the little bit of Miami still left in me. *

 I really wanted to do it but didn’t want all the pressure and I REALLY didn’t want homework. I’m already doing kindergarten and 2nd grade every night, thank you very much but…I realized I’m now taking my camera everywhere I go and when I don’t have it, I wish I did. and I miss her, she’s my new best friend. So I’m joining, I’m in all you 365ers, sort of, it’s the loser version. No  pressure, just play, everyday…it’s fun. I can definitely play every day or almost every day.

You can follow along here. Or play your own game. What would you do for fun every-single-day if you could?

a close second for me would be:

jump on a trampoline

pick flowers and berries

have sex (well, this would be my first choice but you know, you know…)

your turn….

*Cuban/Miami time- be a half hour late to everything all the time, it’s awesome!

Conversations over the 2 hour ordeal of cleaning the boy’s room:

Me: Guys, did you notice it isn’t all stressful, miserable and hard this time?

Josiah: I did notice that, I wonder why?

Me: Because I’m not making this all stressful, miserable and hard.

Josiah: Hmmm, that’s true.

~

On the subject of trickery:

(this is after we exchanged some of our tricks)

Me: Who do you think has the better tricks, kids or moms?

Both boys at the same time (while laughing): KIDS!  for sure (jack added)

~

Jack- Do we have any more to clean because I think my brain is full, it can’t take any more stuff to do.

Check out Guerrilla Goodness Quaker Style. Have I ever told you how much I love the Quaker faith? or just Quakers in general. One of these days I’m going to make my way over to a Friends meeting for all the peace and the sacred quiet. Kelly and her kid friends came up with a great idea for spreading kindness in their town. Their sneaky goodness will inspire you, I promise!

The snow finally found us after 5 years. We ended up at our neighborhood park with about 200 other people out of their minds excited over the snow glory. Lou (the snowboarder above) and his lovely family (they were like the beautiful people) were just a few kind strangers that let me take their picture.

I loved this guy:

and the sledding dog:

this guy said it was the most fun he had since he was a kid:

Lucy, Lyra and I didn’t last very long. Lyra’s cheeks were windburned so we decided to walk home…this was our view:

*happy sigh* I love you snow…

read all about it here…

I added the heart…it’s paper.

It was the last day as just the brothers, their baby was going to be born in only a few hours. What do you do while you are waiting for your little person to come? Charlie and Sam let us hang out with them and find out…

first you help your friends dog shop…rescue mutts only please.

then you go to the toy store and try on funny hats…

after the funny hats, funny faces follow…

you decide you are hungry and head to the deli, you play the “who is getting a baby game?” while you wait for sandwiches…

it’s time to leave and go deliver a meal to another friend who got a baby this week, then home to get ready to party, it is valentine’s day after all…

you secretly hope your mom will be in labor at little bit longer (actually said this) so you can have your first sleepover…you then have your valentine’s day party and you don’t even know it but just as you were toasting to baby sisters and love, your very own sister, pippa, came into the world while your papa held your mama…it was magic.

and this is the day when 2 kids turned into 3…

Much love and happiness to the Wilsons…thanks for letting us be part of your day.

This is Jorgie’s tree… he bought it before the holidays and said he was going to grow our very own Christmas tree. I laughed and he faithfully watered everyday. Nothing happened for the longest time, but Jorge’s Journey philosophy in life and sheer love grew the little seed.

I  look at the tiny plant on the windowsill everyday and feel a sort of friendship. I’m out  and growing. No hiding under a dirt surface, I’m growing both ways now. I’m so into my things, it’s all I ever want to talk about…to talk about myself. (tiny gasp) For so long I mirrored the thoughts and feelings in a room, held back or guarded my own. It was my superpower to meet you wherever you were, and stay there. Except now I find my own ideas and opinions coming out of my mouth and sometimes, well, I’m slightly horrified. But I can’t swallow them back and it’s okay. Surprisingly, okay.

I’m no longer the most comfortable girl in the room to be with and I’m a little self-absorbed at the moment and I’m creating and kinda proud and frustrated and determined and scared and strong…and strong. It’s good and sad all at the same time.

I’m a growing girl…

capturing the moment…

being present in every second…

a powerful girl who finally decides it’s time to let you take her picture…

discovering the beauty all around…

finding myself in this new art…

being seen…

seeing love through the lens… 

I am blissing out on art and pictures and babies and family love this valentine’s day…I hope love finds you too today, in the way you need  it most.

Do you wanna be friends on flickr? check it out here!

All you need is love…It was Lucy’s first song. She sang it in the back seat of the car many a morning as we dropped boys off at school. I think she was trying to comfort herself, she wanted to go more than anything else. She was livin’ on love till her time came.

Whatever your relationship is with the holiday of love, here are a few ideas sure to make the love come ’round.

1. Welcome chocolate into your heart.  Now is the time to invest in experience my friend. Buy good chocolate (dark and rich) and good wine. No worries if these things do not appear via someone tall, dark and handsome, Love yourself and love yourself well.

2. Get Suggestive. When Jorge started turning our “healing words” set of magnetic poetry into suggestive sexual phrases on the refrigerator I decided to see if the real thing existed. Whaddya know, it totally does and it is WAY fun! Every morning I wake up to or leave a phrase like this:

Our kids haven’t caught on and the sexual humor is endless. We never even speak about it, but sometimes I hear him laughing in the kitchen.

3. Give in to the Family Love.  Growing up I had no idea Valentine’s Day was an exclusive holiday. My mother made a heart-shaped meatloaf, we decorated brown lunch bags to hold our family valentines, my dad brought home roses for me and my sisters.  Embrace whatever kind of love is before you and invite it if it’s not there. 

It came down to food one year. Jack suggested that if Valentine’s Day was about love we should each pick a food we love to eat at the “love dinner”. I kid you not, we had corn dogs, corn, and ham croquetas that year. and cheesecake with cherries on top for dessert.  It was one of my favorite Valentine’s ever.

4. Skip the expectation game. Don’t wait to see what your other is going to do or not do before you decide how this holiday is going to go down in the history books. Make a general plan leaving just a little room for surprise should one person be feeling the desire. It’s better to be in it together.

5. Spread the love. It’s the perfect time to share the love around. Take red flowers and homemade notes to old ladies or other unsuspecting individuals- teacher’s aides, school janitors, toll collectors, grocery baggers, etc. The love will come right back to you, kindness love is like that.  

Make way for love to come…it is all around.

“Oh yes, we just got back from Sundance, it was lovely and the film did well too….”  These are the exchanges in my head when I day dream. We all remember this little period of delusion I had a couple years back. I love film, it feels like the best church…it’s an image, there is music, emotion, a message. Sometimes it’s complicated and deep, other times light and joyous, all of it speaks to my soul. Part of me can’t deny my desire to create it, craft it, enter it.

So then this crosses my path:

Birth Matters Virginia (a non-profit organization that works to improve the culture of birth) is sponsoring a documentary contest with celebrity filmmaker judges and cash prizes of $1000, $500, and $100.

We’re looking for short (4-7 minutes) documentary-style films that will educate women about the choices they have surrounding birth. We live in a culture where epidurals, inductions, and c-sections are common place events, and where women may not know they they have a say in what interventions take place when they give birth.

You don’t have to be a parent or have any experience with birth in order to enter. You just have to have a curious mind and an ability to research birth in America with an open mind and an eye toward exposing audiences to new ways of thinking about birth. Entering will make you eligible for the $1000 first-place prize and could also expose your work to internationally acclaimed filmmakers and documentary producers Ricki Lake and Abby Epstein.

The deadline for entering the contest is Mother’s Day, May 10, 2009. Everything you need to know about the contest can be found here: http://www.birthmattersva.org/videocontest.html

You can also join our Facebook group to get updates about the contest and exchange ideas with other participants at
http://www.facebook.com/groups/edit.php?gid=73753459808#/group.php?gid=7375345988.

And if you have questions, email Sarah at Richmond@birthmattersva.org

And I’m part of the group of women that came up with this very brilliant idea- except I wasn’t there that night, the night when all of this was discussed and decided. Isn’t it screaming for me to do it, to try, to make dreams come true with a 7 minute video that surely will go on to Sundance? I know, I know.  So now I’m mildly tortured because I can’t enter but you can! And your friends can! And other dreamer wanna be indy film people can! Consider this your personal invitation to the rest of your exciting creative life…and if you are still unsure, will you at least pass this on? This thing is gonna be big, I can feel it and you could be the person that was there from the start. We are a Youtube generation, anything can happen.

Go film friends and dreamers, I’ll live vicariously through you until my moment comes….at a minimum, link this for me, will ya?  We need the power of every man, the grass roots, the true wisdom of a gathered people hoping for change.

Feel free to e-mail me if you would like more information. Patience@kindnessgirl.com