Kindnessgirl

There was a minor crack in the snow bliss today…the snow being beautiful as ever but I was losing it. Maybe it was the stomach bug during the week or the 10th consecutive day inside or the push pull of toodlerhood and acrobatic nursing or the children literally tying each other up but whatever it was, I was way past the edge.

“I don’t want you to do it mom, papa can help us, you’ve had a hard day.” Jack said as he headed downstairs to get ready to play outside in the snow. This is how you know you have expressed all your annoyance too well…and you can’t exactly help it because it’s how feel, even if you don’t want to.

“Oh Jackie! It’s alright, I can help you.”

So we all went out at dusk, just when the snow stopped falling. While we can’t keep the lawn mowed in the spring, we are always the first on the street to have our sidewalks shoveled. The boys made snow angels, Lucy shoveled snow paths to nowhere and Lyra chased me while I tried to take pictures of the sparkle of snow.

This is everything you signed up for and didn’t all at the same time, the quiet snow falling over you like a blanket, the crazy strung out kids, the tiny birds finding shelter in our small tree, the thoughtful kind boy worried for the well being of others, the toddler who wants endlessly, falling apart with your partner and friend…a snowy night.

feeling this dear friend from far away as she feels those she holds dear and the place she began even closer… hope we all can offer what we have to help…

My tiny winter altar…a little space on the mantle with fortunes, blessing rocks from friends, Guadalupe and some tiny gifts from nature. It is everything I am inviting every time I walk by the little box…so small and yet so big at the same time.

Other sacred spaces had a much longer road to travel before coming into being…So we had this room, it was a sunroom morphed into an office really. Nobody went in it very often, it held some old memories we have grown out of but weren’t quite ready to let go of. It’s the kind of thing where you start to just sort through papers and are left wondering why you feel so exhausted until you realize it was life you were combing through… But we did this work, pushing through making a clearing for something new. I find this is the perfect time to call in a wish, or claim some new territory in your heart, or finally give some space to something longing…and we did.

We always had this shelf of art supplies over the years but visiting my creative friend’s house made me realize it deserved a home of it’s own for our kids. It’s the point where a supply shelf turns into a studio and your art turns into a way of life requiring a place to grow.

The kids are delirious…they can’t stop sharpening pencils and taping things. The old silver box monster finally has a home, recycle sculptures are popping up and stick figure family portraits are lining the refrigerator. It all feels very free and new, honoring the everday makes it all feel like something more, maybe even something sacred.

I had the honor of capturing the birth of a sweet baby girl this weekend…an amazing couple, beautiful baby…thank you Stacy and Tina!

Lucy (age 4) playing polly pockets in the back seat:

“Oh, I picked you to get married because you are the best…”

I feel you girl….I did the same thing.

I’ve been so in love with black and white photography lately…well actually, I’m pushing through a new level of learning in my photography and my color work has been terrible lately, terrible. So after hours of messing with a bad picture and discovering what I’m doing wrong, I throw that bad boy into b&w and I’m in love again.

Everything simplified, showing you only what matters…maybe this is how we learn. Working hard or just stumbling along, sorting, growing and then returning to a simple place to enjoy what is so clearly before us. We need each part and draw out certain stages depending on what our soul is requiring, and what the universe has in store.

Today it is clear, tomorrow gray, a future of color and everything in between.

photo by jorge salgado

It all ways happens after a run of good art, productivity, dreaming….something happens, something small or big, it doesn’t matter. The old tapes start to play. The mental tape that asks you what the hell you are doing, or who do you think you are, or this is all you are, or maybe you can’t do what you think you can or not that well…and you wonder how you can feel so strong one minute and so fragile the next…today it was about my photography, and for Josiah it was multiplication.

The tapes plays loud or quiet, just enough to hear in the background of life. So we held each other and told each other the truth, because the truth always sets you free….and then we watched this:

we both felt a little better…

art by Griffin

I just adore this fresh spin on the 365 photo project…pure loveliness.

All he wanted for his 7th birthday were krispy kreme donuts and clementines…easy peasy. So Josiah, Lucy and I got up early to decorate and make a donut cake of sugary goodness.

photo by Gina Bass

feel free to make a wish for you or someone else in the comments…

Sometimes our fate resembles a fruit tree in winter. Who would think that those branches would turn green again and blossom, but we hope it, we know it.

-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

saying goodbye to so many hard fought love and growth battles in 2009 and welcoming  all the peace and joy 2010 holds…

 our beloved Perly’s…because everyone should have a really great breakfast joint in their lives.

“The practice of art isn’t to make a living. It’s to make your soul grow.” 
Kurt Vonnegut

That is a picture of a double dipped pecan my friends, a heart hiding in chocolate love. This is the kind of art that unfolds in the everyday. The art that sets off the joy in my heart for simple and unexpected surprises by just taking a bite into a treat…they are tiny signs from the universe sent to delight and remind us that  there are a million reasons why we should live everyday like the whole world is some big giant canvas for art that invites us to both contribute and soak in.

the art of being…

and Vonnegut’s words pop up again the way they always do when you need them most…just when 2010 is coming and my mind is rushing with projects that put my art card next to the ”making money” card. I hate those two together. I’m constantly shuffling the deck hoping the two will never come into play in the game. I start to sweat when they do…and the truth is, they will, very soon, as this is the place where my soul must grow…with lots of hope and courage in my heart, but it will only happen if I forge new paths. 

If my soul grows, the parts of money that make me break out into hives will fall into the right places…the place of honoring my work, the place of trust, the place I allow a new kind of success,  the place where I sink into my art of just being, come what may. I need not worry about making a living, I must only say yes…

So in 2010…give yourself permission to allow your art to unfold, to give it all it deserves, to discover how strong your soul is…and if you feel weary, or overwhelmed, or scared….I wish pecan hearts in many bites of chocolate goodness come your way…

christmas miracles happen in all sizes you know…like when…

after many, many years you figure out how to share the Christmas load of magic making (i.e. shopping, cleaning, decorating, cooking) with your partner… you discover a way to be in it together.

the dog and baby are obsessed with the hot pink feather boa my sister bought that Lucy rejected.

creating the exact Christmas breakfast feast would go very far in making this the ”best christmas ever” to a six year old.

that you can actually stay in a Christmas budget.

you get a white Christmas just like the movies.

the children require toasts and “wishes” (prayers) at every family togetherness moment.

even though some family members are sick, you happen to have your very own personal nurse visiting (my sister) who gives excellent care.

hibernation made the season merry, bright and oh so chill.

What Christmas miracles (big and small) happened at your house?

It’s the vampire jack, team edward I think…except jackie-boy couldn’t be more dreamy and less vampire-y.

“Mom, this is my best Christmas ever, the snow, the kindness, our love…” said the soulful six year old.

and yet, all I can think is that this child can not possibly be of this world…

ETA- lest you think it’s all unicorns and rainbows over here, i woke up  today to the oh-my-god-there-are-a-gagillion-things-left-to-do heavy feeling this morning…i hate that one. trying to rally the spirit of Christmas back!

I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t sleep so I did what every mother does during the hours of peace and quiet, I cleaned. For four hours, I picked up and scrubbed, sorted and collected, I did laundry…just feeling thankful to just accomplish, to work and let my mind go through thousands of thoughts uninterrupted.

As I pulled out the 324th load of snow clothes, I started thinking about my own mother. So many holiday nights finishing every last little detail that would shape our experience and offer us a memory. My memories revealing her efforts of shaping our childhood in an act of service and an expression of deep love…and for all her faults, her love has reigned supreme. I am with her on this night almost as if I was standing beside the 33 year old her, our babies asleep as we do the dishes and think about the next day ahead. I reached for the tiny snowman mug and feel every intent of love she has ever held for me, hoping my own girls know the same.

It was the dreamiest tree trimming last year. We picked out the tree all together, each person offering input, a collective decision. We came home and put the lights on together, had a fire, listened to music…there might have even been a family hugging session. Whenever you have an over-the-top holiday memory, you should bank it and worship it, and here’s the key- do not expect it to repeat itself… I mean each year will have something that is magical but it’s never the same thing. And in the words of my mother superior preschool teacher and friend Anne, “Low expectations mean high serenity!” *sigh* it’s so true…so here is the tree trimming extravaganza of 2010, in pictures.

We went to two stores, one didn’t have tree stands and twine so off we were to another five minutes before closing. No one could agree on a tree so we let Jorge pick as he was in the grumpiest mood that night. We got home too late to trim so that left us to decorate the next day but Jorge was working late and the kids could barely stand it. I decided to just start, getting the tree in the stand and putting on lights, it was positively comical.

I couldn’t keep Lyra off the table. Here she is looking triumphant. Seconds later she dumped an entire bag of animal crackers on the table which she pushed to the edge so the dog could reach.

Lucy insisted we put the star on, immediately, while Josiah and I tried to just get the tree in the stand and Jack turned 235 pins into the trunk to keep it standing.

She finally gave up and started playing with the greens and boxes.

Lyra moved on to sharing the rest of the milkshake with the dog.

Then she discovered the wonder of lights, as I discovered that every strand had only half the lights work.

and then somehow Christmas works her magic and all is well…

Hope your holiday is merry and bright, even if it isn’t exactly perfect.

I found myself in quite a swirl of buzz and goodness surrounding my kindness work last month. It seemed all at once, the universe was sending me lots of contacts and showing me how kindness could be on the map in new ways. This left me with lots of dreaming and trying to gather my courage to look at this thing head on. I talked with lots of folks, had meetings with a PR maven, it was all extremely helpful and enlightening.

During each session I had a chance to uncover parts of myself to see what was inside. Even though a tiny bit of fear still resides in my heart, moments of feeling completely incapable started to fade away which was totally new territory for me. As I listened to the plans and strategies all I could think was, “Oh, I just want to be with my family, I just want to hibernate, I’m tired.” I realized kindness wasn’t going to ask me to stay away from all I love and will guide me in my part of her much larger scheme of love.  She knows the way…

While total hibernation is still a bit of a pipe dream, we have been taking steps towards the holing up this winter in our little brick house. Halloween puppies, less internet, caramel apples rolled in toffee, baking with Lucy, the boys creating board games, jorge and I engrossed in episodes of Mad Men and books…it has been divine. Everyone needs to pull in every now and then, gather all you love close, take in the warmth, go into the cave…

So here are some tips on exploring the art of hibernating:

1. Yummy food is essential. Now is the time for soups and crusty bread, hot chocolate and marshmallows. Return to your kitchen, there is time to reclaim the art of cooking and baking…the sun goes down so early calling you to hearth and home. Dig out old recipes, let things stew, slow can be your guide.

2. More is More. Get a boatload of firewood givng you the freedom to have a fire every night if desired. Stock up on supplies so you don’t have to darken the door of a Costco for the next three months. Buy the case of wine, you get the idea…  

3. Make a Nest. Pull out the quilts and flannel sheets from the atttic, wash everything in the softest detergent. Buy more pillows than any person should have on their bed, till you are almost sitting in the middle. Have blankets, pillows and slippers all over the house inviting you to take a nap, cozy up, making every space inviting for rest and warmth. Use the old blankets and quilts passed down inviting old love to be draped over you.  

4. Paper and Film. Hibernation is the perfect time for stories. It is when we are quiet and have little to distract us that we can absorb and see all that is meant for us. Read books, books, books… in bed, in the bath, at the table. Make space for the stories you have been meaning to get to, the ones you have been avoiding, the kind that have been whispering a call to you. Watch films, old and new, over and over or in marathons. Fill up the queue and fall asleep in every documentary you watch too late into the night, it’s okay. Story is the thing.

5. Be back later. Disconnect from the world, fall off the map, let obligation rest- for just awhile. Don’t answer the phone, auto-reply “out of office” for personal e-mails which will be confusing and kind of funny to friends. Check out to the world and check-in to those who help you unwind and recharge. If you are itching to connect, invite friends to come to you. Your friends will love the yummy food and nests all around.

Hope you have a warm cave to hibernate in and much love to draw warmth and strength from this night…

Wondering what Guerrilla Goodness is exactly? you can find out here.

Are you interested in being part of the next city wide Guerrilla Goodness mission or looking for ideas for your own city?  you can e-mail me at patience@kindnessgirl.com with your name and preferred e-mail address and I’ll add you to the GG news list.

Special thanks to Style Weekly for including me on their Top 40 under 40 list  , and thanks to Jonah for nominating me (on the sly!). I was shocked and honored and all that good stuff, mostly excited to watch the power and joy of kindness…

all images are property of patience salgado – but feel free to blog, tweet, share, pass along…

Can you imagine anything better than getting a chance to talk to Elmo about love and kindness? My work for PBS Supersisters gave me the very opportunity at The Library of Congress National Book  Festival last weekend. The experience left me wishing I had been on Sesame Street. I think I would have fit in perfectly with the muppets.

Check out more pics here.

because her eyes always tell a story…

Everyone has a story…and if you think they don’t, it usually just means it’s bigger and deeper than you probably imagine.

My path has been crossing all kinds of new people lately… friends of friends, local social circles in my city I never knew even existed, twitterlebrities…it’s more socializing than I have done in a long, long time. I feel like a freshman on the first day of high school. The exchanges of first impressions, some awkward, some instant life long friendship and some I’m still scratching my head trying to figure out. 

I’m sorry to say that my Judgey Joanna has been in total overdrive at times, I thought I knew…I made decisions instantly or even before I arrived, before the story. The story is always there, some give it freely right from the get-go, others hold it close trying to decide if you are worthy, some folks have them locked up so tight hoping they will never see the light of day. No matter how or when we eventually arrive, I am always so humbled by the truth before me.

The story is what makes us real, the place where see and are seen, the moment when we are most amazing and human all at the same time, the destination of understanding and true connection. So I sit around now, trying to wait , reminding myself  to listen, looking and holding hope for the story… 

Photo by the Koshock crew

The sky was blue, the air warm, the breeze cool…everything the weather wasn’t just a week ago. I drove with the boys in the hoopty thinking along the way,  there was  just one little un-met desire in my heart. We needed music, music makes everything better. We drove up, grabbed our basket and walked to the field in front of the Carillon steps. There, right in front of us was a drumming circle, I felt like I had just put in a short-order to the universe diner with super fast and friendly service. The bell rang- order up- everything you asked for, everything you need to Guerrilla Goodness your heart out.

Photo by The Checkout Girl

There were all kinds of folks there: artists, mothers, kids, teens, twitter celebrities, babies, foodies, fathers, teachers, friends, strangers…almost 35 total, we hit 17 schools, all in our city of Richmond.  I was sort of tortured, surprisingly. I wished I could go with each person to each place, but instead we milled around trying to decide who would take what and wondering if we should take more. Each went their own way and then we (the kids and I) traveled around the city GG’ing and trying to catch up with the others…

Photo by John Haddad

I was so touched to read each message, each intention, each act of kindness…and again, like always, I left feeling so undone by the  good in the world, mission accomplished.

At the last school the kids rolled in the grass, lyra helped draw(i.e. eat chalk) and I listened to the kickin’ church service across the street while I wrote.

The hip-hop was filling the air, and just then we heard a horn. A man and women were blowing rams horns, and it all felt sacred somehow. It was a perfect ending to a guerrilla good day.

Thanks to each of you that came out from RVA and our friends all over the country  who made this so special and so much fun!

Photo by Mary Margaret Park

Photo by Tiffany Glass Ferreira

If you have more GG adventures to share, please do so in the comments! We would love to hear about them. Thanks to all who spread the word. If you missed this one, no worries, there will be another chance soon…or even better, do your own, invite us, we’ll come!

So Loki (the cutest kid you ever did see) came with his mom, Thea,  in the pouring rain last Sunday to GG. He somehow held hope is his heart that our little event of kindness could still happen. For this reason alone, I knew we must reschedule. I guess you just never know what kindness will hold and when it is best meant to pour out on the world.

Here we go:

Sunday, September 13

3pm in front of the Carillon (near Byrd Park)

I will provide directions and chalk, you just show up with lots of joy!

Rain plan- If it is raining at 3pm we will take it as our sign from the universe that next year will be the right time to try again.

Hope to see you all there!  Can’t wait to tell you about the next mission I’ve been cooking up. This one will be for the 21 and older crowd…hmmmm, drinking, bar hopping and Guerrilla Goodness-ing. Can’t wait!

Please, please spread the word. Twitter, Facebook, and blog to get the word out RVA!

There are times when you just have to trust the universe. I woke up to a terrible weather forecast. It seems even if we dodge the rain today, it is coming tonight either way which is sort of disastrous for our sidewalk chalk intentions for the kids tomorrow morning.

Strangely, while I am bummed, my heart has a peace about the whole thing. Because all roads lead to The Sound of Music, I just keep thinking, “when God closes a door, he always opens a window”…and so we have a decision now, an opportunity, if you will. We get to decide what comes next.

Do we:

a. Postpone until next Sunday when maybe the messages are meant for the second week of school?

b. Cancel all together because this event has the biggest punch for the first day,  wait till next year!

c. Cancel, but plan another Guerrilla Goodness mission very soon so we don’t lose the goodness juice that is flowing in a big way.

d. Your own brilliant idea that is at the tip of your tongue that you are now shouting at the screen.

Now that we are mulling around what to do, I want to tell you about what Guerrilla Goodness  has ALREADY happened as a result of opening this project up to the world.

Pam and her kids Guerrilled it up and their local paper sent some love their way.

Rachel and her peeps, who are homeschool friends are doing the project in two towns. Her site was listed in blogger’s Blogs of Note shortly after she linked to GG which sent both her and GG’s page hits through the roof! Yay for spreading the word!

My good and rockin’ blog friend Chris at Everyday Heartbeats  decided to gather her people and do Guerrilla Goodness: West Coast Style. It was a smashing success, her very own lovebomb to the world.

Besides these amazing women, my inbox has had a steady stream of folks telling me they decided to share their own Sidewalk Chalk love in their cities and towns. If you would like to share your pictures please feel free to upload them in the Guerrilla Goodness Flickr Pool.

I also had a chance to talk about GG on the local news which was wonderful, weird and exciting all at the same time.

So now it’s up to us, share your thoughts as to what we should do next in the comments.

Thank you for all your heart and excitement about GG and all that is to come.

While out eating a fine dinner of burgers and fries the other night, Josiah had a moment of kindness genius. I thought this idea was particularly stellar.

“Mom, you know those vending machines (gumball machine) over there? What if we put quarters in there and the candy was just there as a kindness for a kid to find?”

I couldn’t think of a better idea for a random act of kindness from one kid to another. How many times do we say no to that stuff? It was perfect. Off we were to get a roll of quarters. The kids knew it was going to be a good mission when the bank teller put lollipops in with our quarters. It seemed appropriate that the candy mission was starting with some.

“Look mom, these are the hands of kindness!” Josiah said. He was bursting with pride the entire day, deciding how we should execute each part of the plan.

We stuck quarters in some  and left them, others we taped a note to the bottom where the candy comes out.

We hit some malls, restaurants, other random spots…we got some candy for ourselves too.

Josiah must have said 5 times, “Isn’t this great mom?” It was, but the kindness high felt a little secondary to the pride that was swelling in my heart.

Pure kid goodness, almost as sweet as the candy…

This is an easy one to do and sure to be a hit with your kids!

Don’t forget to bring your crew on September 7th at 3:00pm in front of the Carillon for the city-wide Guerrilla Goodness Sidewalk Love event. Can’t wait to go guerrilla with you…

So you might remember last year when we kooked up this idea with the Supersisters to team up to do some Guerrilla Goodness for the kids heading back to school? Well, this year, we have a special invitation for you?!

Come with US!!! You can spread kindness wherever you are but we would would like to put out a special call to all Richmonders:

We know our city is a little screwed up, well a lot,  but would you like to do something kind for the kids of our city?

Yes? Meet me and other Guerrilla Goodness lovers in front of the Carillon (Byrd Park)  at 3:00 pm on September 7th!

Here’s how it works:

1. I will pass out addresses to city schools and sidewalk chalk.

2. You head out with friends, family, kids, dogs, grandmothers, artists, whoever…and write positive messges to kids on the sidewalks in front of the elementary schools in Richmond city for the first day of school.

3. Go home blissed out with the kindness high!

4. If you are kid, be super quiet when you are walking to school the next day and everyone around you is talking about the cool art out front. and smile.

We are looking for graffiti, tattoo  and other artists that might be interested in doing one crazy cool “square” at each school. All in chalk, of course. Please contact patience@kindnessgirl.com if you are interested in helping.

Can’t wait to see you there. Leave a comment if you think you might like to come, or just show up. Please, tweet, facebook and blog this too! Thanks, it’s gonna be great!

There were problems from the beginning, I was a child bride by today’s standards. Twenty-one, itching to get the altar to begin my life. My ambition went about as far as the end of the kitchen counter where I was making dinner. We came from completely different families, cultures, backgrounds. Opting out of finishing college to be poor newlyweds didn’t go over well with cautious family members. We didn’t always know how to communicate well, we were so, so young.  Yet somehow I knew. 

I knew this was a serious love.

Skeptics thought we were naive and foolish, and we were about so much but not about this. We were far beyond our years in love…a love that has seen…

unexpected pregnancies

us grow up together

sickness and surgeries

mental illness

financial hardship

death

each of us navigate the discovery of dreams  

 the realization that great love was needed to cover big pain and hurt, bigger and deeper than we ever knew

and we did, and this love, this love has conquered it all…during the nights of tears, deep joy and pain, fear and truth, bliss and laughter. There were so many moments when I didn’t know what would happen or how we would figure it out but one thing I was sure of over and over again, in the deepest place of my heart was that if he held me, I was fine, the world was fine, I was me…

…we are love.

Come what may.

So now I am wiser and older, I feel my bones settle in the intuition of what my soul has always known, as he holds me tight.