Kindnessgirl

My favorite kind of kindness is the act that comes totally unexpected. These are the ones that leave you speechless and undone in the best way. Things have been really hard for my family the last year, things I really wouldn’t share because it might hurt people I dearly love. I went from having sort of a charmed life to having layers peeled back that have required me to find a new way to be on so many levels. And really through it all, love and kindness have held firm, teaching me that I have always had everything I really need, come what may…

I will admit all of this struggle has left me soul weary for too long. Just last week, I was tearfully milling around the around the house secretly (or maybe not so secretly) wishing that we could run away together for a while, just get away to a quieter place. Jorge came home the next evening and said someone we know had offered us their beach house, free of charge, during a prime rental week. I was shocked, tiny and big wishes can happen I guess. This tremendous act of generosity came at just the right moment reminding me once again that we are being held. We are not alone.

The kids and I packed up and went ahead with Jorge meeting us for the last 2 days. The cottage was so perfect, bright with touches of joy everywhere you turned. Lots of little details made the home feel very loved. Every morning I opened the windows and looked out at the ocean, allowing the breeze blow over me, working her magic.  It was tricky to have 4 kids alone on a sandy beach, I am tired but somehow my heart feels rested even though my body does not.

We dug deep holes and buried each other, jumped the waves, watched too much horrible tv, spent hours making art, stayed up way late, ate sugar cereal, watched the sunset…and were away in the quiet, as quiet as 6 can be, together.

Sometimes what feels like an ocean of hardship requires an ocean of kindness or maybe lots of small acts to right a heart, to heal. I guess you never know what small or big act can do and what it will mean, but you can be sure it can change everything…

Thank you kind friends…

more pics here.

Josiah: You know, I think Lyra is getting curlies just like Jackie.

Me: I KNOW!!! Aren’t they cute?

Josiah: Yeah, she has something from everybody. She has my nose and papa’s skin, it’s so brown. She has Jackie’s curlies and I think Lucy’s eyes. What color are Lucy’s eyes again? brown, yep. Lucy’s eyes.

Me: She doesn’t have anything from me?! She doesn’t huh?

Josiah: She might have your kindness, we’ll just have to wait and see when she gets older.

*sigh*, Oh, be still my heart, I think she got kindness from him…

“Surely goodness and mercy shall follow thee, all the days, all the days of your life…”

She was so full of  peace…walking forward, never looking back. May love meet you there, love for the deepest and most tender places in yourself and for Rwanda…as you boldly step into and meet all the desires of your heart.

 May traveling mercies go before you…

What is sending you power these days? This green car, I could feel the charge. The electric slide is comin’ on friends. (insert a boogie- woogie! here) Oh, it’s on, it’s on like Donkey Kong!

Other places I find power these days:

My friend Kelly and her wisdom are packing a serious punch lately. Girl has got it going on.

Gina’s bread

Forgiveness

New kindness schemes- what if I offer one free photo portrait session (shhhh! i think i’m becoming a real photographer) a month, guerrilla goodness style….you anonymously nominate someone else, for any reason, I pick one a month, kindness photography is born. (this might be really fun because I will not be offering portraits, just birth photography) Hmmmm….maybe someday I can even travel.

Stories and new friendships

Guacamole and  chips

Finding new strength in being vulnerable and fragile

Tell me, what is charging you today?

I traveled down a love lane with a soulsister this week, hers, not mine. She gave the gift of reflection via photos to her man to celebrate 14 years together. We put a gaggle of kids in the car and drove to the places where it all began. I listened to stories of livin’ on love with just a hibachi grill and a cooler big enough for a 12 pack. No refrigerator, no air conditioning…just hot city summer nights with a table pulled out on the sidewalk.  Romantic dinners by candlelight and the neighborhood kids wandering in and out of the light to see what real love looks like. and maybe grab a piece of garlic bread. 

The tiny place where the view of the city goes on forever was where he asked her to be his partner forever, the secret garden where promises were made to care for each other no matter what, the bright yellow house where babies were made and  born in a tub of  water filled with joy and welcome, we sit at each place and take it all in. I turn to her, we laugh, the dreamy in overload.

“But what about the inbetween?” I ask.  What about working hard at a job you care about with little pay, what about postpartum hell, what about all the need of the little people around you, how did you find your way to each other then?

We exchanged stories of deeper love then, like the old cracked and tired houses we drove to. You find yourself in the same place you started. Staring at the simple truth before you- that no matter what happens,  love rests at the bottom. And you choose each other over and over again…forever.

I went home and sat next to Jorge feeling in the inbetween place. Wondering how he could choose me after being tired, pissy, annoyed, drained for the better part of the last year. And we sat quiet, I started typing our own love lane list since we are far from our beginning place. 

Things that are great about US

and we wrote and wrote and wrote, it flowed so easily. And I thought about Hobie beach in Miami, and the sunset that day, the place where it all began…and so it goes.

The one I am trying to do (and was  failing miserably at last week) :

I wake each morning with a new day inviting me to create,

to listen to myself and the world,

to speak and be heard,

to act in grace, kindness and love.

Amen.

keep on truckin’…right?

My photography allowed me to be barefoot in the greenest grass that is the pure nature bliss of Vermont last week. Some dear friends hired me to photograph a birthday celebration. The farm was beautiful, the food was insane, the nature spectacular but nothing could even hold a candle to the true magic there….it was George and his values.

Everywhere I turned there were little notes, manifestos, in plain handwriting signed by G. I was struck by this and read each one feeling like it was a little window inside his head and heart. I looked around and realized one man (with a LOT of help I’m sure) had created something so beautiful because he did not waver from what he knew to be true about himself, about what called to him, about what he had to offer the world.

I ate his flatbread, I slept in his inn (in a room named Kindness), I talked to his staff and friends, and I soaked in all of his values…and I was blessed and renewed. It reminded me that I too can hold to what is most important to me. There is no rush and each time I follow what I know to be true, I can create something beautiful. I wake each morning with a new day inviting me to create, to listen to myself and the world, to speak and be heard, to act in grace, kindness and love.

I came home and thought of all the places and tiny ways we fall away from living the life and way we want. And I asked, What Would George Do? He would probably write a little note telling himself and the world what is most important to him. So I’m writing mine now…signed by P. You can write one too. Let’s trade tomorrow, shall we?

I was way excited to show this picture I took in Vermont to my friend Jess. I felt like a school girl showing my teacher my prettiest drawing. Jess is an insane nature photographer among a bunch of other things. Her gifts are like the size of a billboard or have been written by a sky writer on the horizon, and yet sometimes I wonder if she can see how wondrous she truly is….so today I am hella excited, she actually said yes when I asked her to guest post on Supersisters. Go check it, and enjoy the magic that is nature and Jess.

What do you do when unkindness strikes? The kind that hurts your heart in a deep place. I’m always kind of stunned by this and deeply saddened. Especially when it is cloaked in something else and it’s hard to see at first that you just got screwed over. So vague right? sorry.

I’m not sure what to do except sit in the pain for a little while…and look at it, wonder how it happened, try to understand, and cry, and look at flowers, and hold babies, and let big strong love in the form of your husband’s arms hold you, and try to move on…try really, really hard.

Remind yourself that kindness can change everything, everything.

I didn’t find this fortune in a cookie after sweet and sour chicken or wonton soup, it was laying in the grass at the strawberry patch. I find most of my soul there so it made perfect sense. You might say that this is the fortune of my life, that maybe the entire universe might be a friend even just for a moment, nothing makes me happier.

It’s been a long week. I’ve been pretty down, it’s nothing major, just one of those times when you are so aware of just how much sh*t you still need to work through. Like the kind that settles in the tub at the end of a nice bath or the backwash in your drink after a kid takes a swig. I’m very tired, like a soul tired.

It has been nothing I can hide or feel like talking about, so I’ve been hibernating. Most of my exchanges being with strangers, which feels appropriate right now…

My New Toll Friend

I drove up to the toll to get over the bridge.

Toll Friend: Hi, how are you?

Me: Bad.

TF: Did you say bad?!

Me: Yeah. It’s not going so good.

TF: Oh girl, it’s gonna be alright.

Me: Thanks…

Next day, same time, same girl.

TF: Hi, how are you?

Me: Better, you were right.

TF: You remembered me?!

Me: Of course, I believed you, I needed that. Thank you.

TF: I know how it can be…

Me: See you tomorrow? same time?

TF: Sounds good girl!

Sometimes I feel like the whole world is trying to be kind to me…and I am so grateful, you have no idea.

8:00am- Lyra is whining. Must have just woken up.

8:05am- Lyra still whining, a whimper actually. I call for Jorge to get her.

8:08am- Jorge finally goes to get her because it takes him three minutes to start to do anything.

“Pache, come see this.”

Lyra is under the middle of the king sized bed. Whimpering because every time she starts to crawl out she hits her head on the wooden bed slats. The child fell off the bed (onto a large pillow, ummm, this might have happened once before), didn’t make a peep and crawled under the bed to get out. Yes, we are the best.parents.ever.

We send these pencils in peace and love. by Roman, age 6

Kids in Utah decided to sell some toys at a yard sale to earn money to buy even more pencils.

A friend in North Carolina had a party and charged pencils at the door. She collected 5 times what she was expecting.

A little girl in Florida wrapped her pencils in her old hair bows to make them pretty AND send the girls something to wear too because girlfriends do that for each other.

A woman in Northern Samar discovered happiness can be found in small things, like pencils and pens.

And everyone involved found HOPE is real. and simple and true. Thank you Nortehanon, for inviting us into your Pens of Hope project.

We collected hockey pencils! thanks Kristin…

We put our pictures on them so you know what we look like…

We collected pencils of all kinds, who knew there were so many?

These pencils have power in them.
We sent our power in these pencils…

Your fellow peeps from the Filippino-American Association of Central Virginia and The Philippine Nurses Association have your back in a BIG way, like a thousands of pencils kind of way.

And here we are, with 8,918 new reasons to hope. We made tiny offerings and big offerings, we send our friendship and joy to all our friends in Northern Samar. Thank you everyone for all you are and all you did…much peace to you and those you love.

WE did it…and so much more!!!!!

patience

Today we are celebrating…

Balloons- I woke up before I was supposed to, so I helped Jorge blow up 100 balloons in my living room for my celebration. Gotta leave it to the event manager husband to come up with the best idea to show you are loved and worth celebrating. Lucy was delirious…”Let’s get this party started!” she kept saying while twirling. And the ole’ sucking helium and singing like the chipmunks is the best silly fun! ever.

Responsible Giving- Let’s just say it was HUGE progress for my family to give me a gift within the budget. HUGE, huge progress people! and now I have a lovely starter nest egg for my super wow camera I’m going to buy after I’ve SAVED for it!

Dreams- a random conversation this morning , “I hope your dreams come true Jackie-boy.”  I said.

 ”Me too, except the bad ones. But I’ve only had like 3 of those.” he replied.

I think our dreams are coming true. I’m waiting for one more phone call but I think we are gonna make our GOAL!!! We are at 3754 pencils but we have 2 BIG donation counts coming very soon. It looks like we will do it!!!!

A Mother’s Day Miracle- I’ve been feeling pretty low about a lot of things lately and I just knew the only thing that would help me is to pick strawberries….I’ve called every day this week hoping they would be ready. It was looking bleak, I tried one more time this morning and THEY ARE OPEN!!!! I can’t tell you what this means to me. I told the farmer it was a mother’s day miracle, he laughed and told me to “come on already!”

I hope you are feeling deeply loved if you are a mother, or should be a mother, or are a mother to the earth, the world, to those around you. May you been seen, really seen, for all that you are. May the joy of all your giving be returned to you today…

Eljah, Joy and Zac with their awesome pencil collection!!!

I have loved these kids since before they were born…I want to cry just seeing their faces with all those pencils! Thank you my dear friend, love to you all….

You can upload pictures of your pencils here.

I think we are at 2500, halfway to our goal of 5,000 pencils!!!! BUT I need to know your number if you are sending them straight to the Philippines. This way we can know exactly how much is left and race to the end.

Do you still want to be join our Pens of Hope project? Don’t worry, it’s not too late. I am now taking pencils from all over the country and will include them in one big box that will be mailed on May 15th! E-mail patience@kindnessgirl.com  for a mailing address if you would like to be included and please leave a comment telling me how many you are sending so we can announce our number by  May 10th.

Wooohoooo, I think we are going to do it guys!

Thanks to all the tweeters, facebookers, and fellow friends and kindness workers…we are finding hope and connections in every nook and cranny of our planet, even our junk drawers…I think it’s because we all know even small and simple things like a pencil can change us and the world…

The magic of del- I can’t begin to tell you how awesome this kid is! His message attached to his pencils said- “Enjoy these pencils, I hope you have a sharpener!”

We are on the homestretch of this project. The pencils are coming in slowly and I have a few promises to collect on but honestly, I’m a little nervous. I KNOW we can do it but it’s time for the hustle friends. Gather all you got, the bundle you have been carrying around in your purse, the box sitting on a table in your foyer or the backseat of your car, now is the time for the trip with your kids to Target….Our  friends at the Organization of Young Filipino Americans at UVA are stepping up, so is this fabulous lady and her kind organization, not to mention all the cool kids in my city. Do you have any pencils you want to share? It isn’t too late but we have to gather our gifts for our friends soon (by May 10th).

If you are in Richmond, you can write me at patience@kindnessgirl.com for a super secret drop off address or you can mail your pencils directly to Nortehanon at

PENS OF HOPE
P.O. Box 16
Post Office, Bgy. Dalakit,
Catarman Northern Samar
6400

Remember! Nortehanon is not accepting money, just pencils- this keeps things easier for her. Don’t forget to add a message for the kids and now you can upload your pictures of you (and your pencils) to our Pens of Hope flickr pool. The race to the end is always my favorite….it’s gonna be great!

Leave me a comment telling me if you have already mailed or plan to mail something soon!

peace, joy and especially hope,

patience

Every time I see a particularly beautiful moon, I think of my friend Christa. She loves the moon, she knows it like an old friend and I am convinced it shines for her. Live music was created for my husband Jorge, his soul is revived by the sounds mixing together in the air. It’s pure joy to watch, let me tell you.

And right now, I can FEEL the earth growing the berries for me to pick. Did you know they grow for me …for me?! and I couldn’t feel more grateful.

and the ocean exists for my dad, and the sun shines for Anne, and on and on…

What breathes, lives, grows for you? I’d love to know…

The Paper Earth by Josiah, age 9

The Supersisters are all about the very awesome Kids Art Auction for Earth Day 2009 . You can even bid on Josiah’s submission shown in the picture above. All proceeds are going to The Nature Conservancy. We are bursting with pride over here, for our artist and the earth love going around. Check it out! and bid!!!

international travel+spontaneous dancing+sound of music mix= my nirvana

My friend Nortehanon and I live very far apart. She lives in the Philippines while I call Virginia home. We both come from big families, love children’s book and all things simple.  My favorite part of our friendship is how she teaches me her kind and gentle ways of loving her home and people. It all started when she wrote me last year to tell me about a project she was working on called Pens of Hope. Nortehanon (which is really what you call someone from the province of Northern Samar) gathered pens to take back to the kids of her town who really needed a very simple thing like pens for school.

Isn’t that great? Pens! These are special pens, they are pens of hope. I can only imagine what goodness can from writing, drawing, creating and learning, can you? It is such a lovely and simple idea, with so much hope wrapped up in it. I can’t tell you how excited I am about it. I am mostly excited about Nortehanon and our shared love of kindness work, so much so, that I’m dreaming one day I can go meet her in Northern Samar, in her hometown and pass out hope with her while I gather my own from new friends…until then I’m inviting you to join us in a Nortehanon and KindnessGirl Challenge.
Here we go:

Do you think we can collect 5,000 pens and pencils by Mother’s Day (Sunday, May 10th)? I think we can do it!

Here’s how:

You can find all the info here and see pics from the last project here. Nortehanon needs pencils this go around, so gather your kids, your grandmother, your dog and head out to buy pencils (the pretty glitter kind or regular old standard #2, colored too). This is a great opportunity for a neighborhood project, a recipient for lemonade stand profits, or other clever ideas your kids can come up with to gather funds to purchase the pencils. It’s perfect for students of all ages, for artists, for lovers of travel, for kindness workers, anyone who feels the call of friendship.

In every donation, please write a short note or send a picture, introduce yourself…make a friend!

You can mail them right to Nortehanon at this address:

PENS OF HOPE
P.O. Box 16
Post Office, Bgy. Dalakit,
Catarman Northern Samar
6400

or if you are in Richmond, you can write me at patience@kindnessgirl.com and I’ll give you an address of where to send them so we can send a big shipment together to Pens of Hope. I’m headed out to get a post office box today, it’s so thrilling!

If you would like to spread the word, you can grab a badge here.

Look for more info soon…and start collecting pencils and a little hope for all of us!!!!!

Growing up, my school sold magazine subscriptions as a fundraiser ever year. I can remember being so excited and not for the super cool whistle you could win if you sold 57,000 subscriptions. I hated selling anything and I’m pretty sure my mom hated it more. I was more excited about the triplicate forms and tiny stamp-like cut outs they sent home in the packet. These meant hours and hours of playing office. It all felt so official and important. I still love office and school supplies…go figure.

I’ve been thinking about the power of pretend lately. It’s a way to try our dreams on. I find myself pretending during the more mundane tasks of everyday life. Lately when I do the dishes, I pretend I’m greeting the guests walking through the door of the gallery showing of my birth photography. The room has soft light like my kitchen, the pictures are so big, so raw and powerful. I’m wearing something lovely that  has a gentle quality reflecting how I feel inside. I have a warm smile on my face and am overwhelmed and humbled by my experiences and the joy of getting to share it all. There are berries, lots of berries, and lemonade, and chocolate. Everyone has an amazing time looking at love and joy and power…

Who knows if it’s just pretend or dreaming, but it has become blurred somehow. What if we try on our dreams over and over again to gather the courage for them to actually happen? What if we decide to believe in pretend? It all feels so child like and beautiful.  I’m willing to keep trying and happy to wash lots of dishes in the mean time.

I know this girl. She can find hope anywhere, it’s her superpower. She can even see it in the darkest of places and days. It isn’t the cheesy kind either, it’s the kind that comes from residing in deep places, from living life with eyes wide open no matter what, from constantly looking for truth and love. When you hang around her the world starts to feel so different. You uncover things about yourself, about others, that you never saw before.

She has lots of dreams, so many that some times I wonder how her heart holds them all. Her latest dream invites the entire universe into her hope-full world. It’s so much bigger than her really, but she is a beautiful eye.  Who knows what can happen…

vote for hope and the girl here.

learn more here:

It was late and they were fighting again. Jack knows just how to push Lucy’s buttons to get that shriek out of her. I try to ignore it most of the time because that little girl can sure hold her own. This time however, she cried, it was the hurt feeling cry. It seemed the usual little sister and big brother bother had a little mean thrown into the mix. It was a sign something needed to be said.

“Jack, buddy, I think you’ve reached your limit my friend. I gotta take some Wii time away tomorrow.” I said.
There was a look of instant panic. It’s kind of rare at our house to have an actual punishment, lots of logical consequences but this, the Wii, it was a biggie. He started crying and it soon escalated into a full out tantrum. A tantrum at the age of six.

Read the rest here…

I really, really do not like pictures of myself. I always look at them and think, “Oh, I hope I’m cuter than that, yes, I’m definitely cuter than that.” And then I put it on the muppet-o-meter in my head. I have a sort of muppetesque looking quality to me but I measure each picture in my mind, “Hmm, yep, at least I don’t look too much like a muppet in that one.” The silly games I play in my head…

But for some reason I love this self portrait. I’m not exactly sure why but maybe because I think it might be one of the truest pictures I’ve ever taken. I look a little raw, and weathered, a little old. And I am, but suprisingly it’s okay. Each one of those tiny wrinkles came from love. From dark and joyous places, from living, from trying, from growing. There is nothing to cover, at least not today…

Luna - dog and friend to the Reavey-Gilbert’s

So there is this photography project called 365…a picture for everyday of the year. Except I’m late to the party, I’m always late to the party and usually this isn’t a bad thing. I like to think of it as the little bit of Miami still left in me. *

 I really wanted to do it but didn’t want all the pressure and I REALLY didn’t want homework. I’m already doing kindergarten and 2nd grade every night, thank you very much but…I realized I’m now taking my camera everywhere I go and when I don’t have it, I wish I did. and I miss her, she’s my new best friend. So I’m joining, I’m in all you 365ers, sort of, it’s the loser version. No  pressure, just play, everyday…it’s fun. I can definitely play every day or almost every day.

You can follow along here. Or play your own game. What would you do for fun every-single-day if you could?

a close second for me would be:

jump on a trampoline

pick flowers and berries

have sex (well, this would be my first choice but you know, you know…)

your turn….

*Cuban/Miami time- be a half hour late to everything all the time, it’s awesome!

Conversations over the 2 hour ordeal of cleaning the boy’s room:

Me: Guys, did you notice it isn’t all stressful, miserable and hard this time?

Josiah: I did notice that, I wonder why?

Me: Because I’m not making this all stressful, miserable and hard.

Josiah: Hmmm, that’s true.

~

On the subject of trickery:

(this is after we exchanged some of our tricks)

Me: Who do you think has the better tricks, kids or moms?

Both boys at the same time (while laughing): KIDS!  for sure (jack added)

~

Jack- Do we have any more to clean because I think my brain is full, it can’t take any more stuff to do.

Check out Guerrilla Goodness Quaker Style. Have I ever told you how much I love the Quaker faith? or just Quakers in general. One of these days I’m going to make my way over to a Friends meeting for all the peace and the sacred quiet. Kelly and her kid friends came up with a great idea for spreading kindness in their town. Their sneaky goodness will inspire you, I promise!

The snow finally found us after 5 years. We ended up at our neighborhood park with about 200 other people out of their minds excited over the snow glory. Lou (the snowboarder above) and his lovely family (they were like the beautiful people) were just a few kind strangers that let me take their picture.

I loved this guy:

and the sledding dog:

this guy said it was the most fun he had since he was a kid:

Lucy, Lyra and I didn’t last very long. Lyra’s cheeks were windburned so we decided to walk home…this was our view:

*happy sigh* I love you snow…