Kindnessgirl

thanks tina!

Check out our new writing adventure with this girl and her guy, Mr. and Mrs. RVA:

Kindnessgirl and husband go local on all things RVA and Parenting

(i really just wanted a reason to post this picture of lyra, i’m swooning over this kid these days)

Today I wonder if she can be tamed…today I hold an inner wish  for harmony and compliance. No conflict, no struggle, no quest for balance,  just peace and quiet. and I know, (sigh) I know,  if this wish came true, everything would be wrong in the world. Her beauty is in her power, her grace in her strength, her magic is in her will.

and she sleeps, and I rest, waiting for it to awake in me…

playdough packages of love

Every now and then I get an e-mail of pure goodness. The kind I go back and read over and over again. I feel this sort of calm and joy knowing people like this live and breathe in the world, and I feel so honored to know them, even if it’s only through a computer screen. Meet Chris and then go read what she and her family decided to do on a cold winter day. After all of this enchantment, you can read her adventures of traveling across North America. Isn’t she the coolest?

and it doesn’t end…the lovely Jessica of A Parent in Silver Spring decided to join her friend Becky (a password protected blog or I would share) and her Kindness Challenge. And then a whole bunch of other people jumped in and well, these things just make my heart swell.

AND, I know, there’s more…I have an invitation for you, but you must wait until tomorrow. I know, I know…but kindness lives on until then.

Peace…

what one thing makes you happy? something YOU do. you are yourself when you do it, you feel happy after, you think about it in daydream fashion, it could be pure play, fun, or even a bit scary. it makes you feel alive…

 you know what I’m talking about. or maybe you forgot because it’s been so long. here’s the thing- even if you’ve decided it costs too much or is too hard or not that important, or you’re tired or somehow living life has stepped into your path, you need to do it. you will never be you if you don’t.

no more excuses, start small, start now, just do…today is the day.

today is a happy day.

amen.

brave readers: tell me your thing in the comments…

a bad ass geek

ring, ring…

Jen: Hello?

Pache: Hi, quick question. Are you doing any geek prevention or management over there?

J: No, not at all. Why?

P: Well, I’m just seeing a staying power of legos, along with pants being worn higher by the day and oh, a huge interest in role playing video games with a decreasing interest in team sports. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for the geekness as we all know geeks rule the earth but I’m hoping they’ll avoid being stuffed in a locker between now and then. Know what I mean?

J: Do you even know any high school geeks right now?

P: No, please educate me…

J: No problem there Pache, they do just fine. just fine… It’s all about the nerdalicious love. It’s everyday knowledge.

P: Whew, good to know. social development crisis averted…

lately when making take out food decisions we start with urban spoon, when this doesn’t work we resort to the baby.

Jorge: Lyra, raise your hand if we should eat chinese. (no response)

Lyra, raise your hand if we should have subs. (no response)

Lyra, raise your hand if we should have Sticky Rice. (wild hand flailing).

Sticky balls it is boys!

Cuban food, aye mija, extreme beauty, pretty boys you can smell coming down the hall, kisses cheek to cheek…miami will always hold a deep place in my heart because it was my home for so many years. So many crazy and wonderful things happened there…We went back for Christmas and I was hoping to do a little GG on South Beach while the wind blew through my hair and the sun shone on my face…no such luck. My GG plans were completely foiled by what Jorge called, “THE SICKNESS”. It was truly amazing how every child got incredibly ill…No club hopping and sitting on the beach with our feet in the sand at night for us.

So I scratched these little technicolor cards on the 20 hour car ride down (another fun story) and never got to blissfully distribute them on people’s cars, on the beach, restaurants,  bars, park benches…here’s where you come in Miami readers. Do YOU want to do it? It’ll be so much fun!  Take pictures (or not), write me and tell me about your GG experience.

I will send the first south florida KG reader to e-mail me (patience@kindnessgirl.com) the technicolor goodness/love cards for Miami and I’ll throw in a couple more for you to add your own words/advice for the bright city.

ready, set, go!

I’m pretty sure kind women make the world go ’round…

I hear him from the other room…he tells her everyday, “I’m so glad you were born.”

Sometimes he whispers it, other times he presses his nose against hers, everyday of her life…

May every human know the love of someone being so glad they were born. 

It’s a blue sky, so blue, and the long rows and wide fields of farm land seem to go on forever. The crops are just popping up even though it is the end of December. This is the place where I grew up. And the place I left… A wave of sadness washes over me. The kind where you feel like crying but aren’t sure exactly why. The lump in my throat grows while I sit in the moment. We stop at the little Mennonite farm and market for sticky buns and strawberry milkshakes. I’m jealous of dirt, flowers and the earth.

I just miss a more simple time…maybe when things weren’t so complicated, when bliss and living were all we knew. Eating, resting and young love reigned supreme. We were easily distracted by shiny things and unaware of the road ahead. There is no regret in my heart as I nurse the sweet babe in my arms, just a longing and remembering of what it is to come home…

just the first of many christmas mosaics…this was christmas day with my sister-in-law Carol and her husband Jean Louis…they were lovely, such hospitality, I felt refined and international. so unlike me…in a good way.

just because…

Feeling like the magic doesn’t exist or you’ve already lost it on day 9, here are five ways call it to your house and heart.

1. Buy a Charlie Brown Christmas tree– forget the fluffy, beautiful, picturesque trees that cost a kagillion dollars, buy the saddest one on the lot. The kind where you can see the trunk and have a tiny bird’s nest inside.

A few years we even waited until the 24th, thus saving a tree from missing it’s Christmas destiny. With 1,000 lights and all the old ornaments, that little tree will hold Christmas magic, I promise.

2. Get some Christmas Pajamas– and here is the secret…wear them everywhere. Cook (their aunt) bought the kids skull pajamas which Jack proceeded to wear to a playdate yesterday. Because really, who can resist skulls with christmas hats and comfy all rolled up into one? I also wore my pajamas with a fleece pullover to the grocery store and the park this week. It felt like I was taking the warmth of Christmas to the cold of the world.

3. Start a fire– this one is for boys/men in particular, especially former boy scouts. Boys love to start fires, I love to watch fires. Nothing feels like Christmas than something crackling and the smell of wood burning. If you are feeling too tired and still want the magic, be a Cheater McCheater and buy a duraflame log.

4. Make Something– Forget the shopping and to-do list and sit down to fiddle with your hands. If you are already artsy in your heart, I don’t have to say another word except you have permission to blow everything else off for this moment of art fulfillment. If you aren’t and can’t imagine such a thing, start with stringing popcorn. It can be meditative and christmasey. It will be good, trust me. Kids will lead you if you have any doubt on this one.

5. Write out your Christmas wish-write out every wish on tiny pieces of paper, they can be about anything. Things that make you happy, sad, hopeful…fold them up until they can be folded no more and stick them in a jar. If you want to remember them then leave the jar somewhere where you can see them, if not, hide them deep in your closet. Don’t open them until next Christmas and add again. You might find the magic did happen or things and desires have changed or you might be inspired to make changes…or you might even still be a little sad. It’s okay, it’s just good to put it out there, to know in the end you’ve invited Christmas magic, come what may…

4 happy people after trimming the tree

1. Lately I have to preface every public outing with: “Jack, No part of your body should be on the floor at any point in our shopping experience today. Not your head, your elbows, your ears, your nose, your knees, just your feet, feet are okay. And let’s keep the Zelda moves to a minimum, alright?”

Can you imagine Amanda Soule saying such a thing to her children?

2. I am in a serious friend groove at the moment…wise wonderful women everywhere I turn. It’s blissful.

3. Fat babies are the best…even with my bad back. Lyra gets more rolls by the second. Her cheeks will soon take over the city. So much to kiss and nuzzle.

4. I think I might want to try to photograph someone’s birth- before, after or during. This would be a huge honor as birth is such a big deal, but if anyone knows anyone that might be interested, shoot me an e-mail wouldya? no charge involved.

photo taken by gina

A Mother and Baby Christmas

So I totally want to ask Santa for a macro lens for christmas but it’s a completely gutsy request on my part. Jack disagrees entirely, he says I should just ask because you never know and Santa can do pretty much anything. I’m thinking Santa is pretty strapped, what with the economy and all the travel so I’m going to stick to some smaller items.

If you are feeling some Santa woes at your house here are some KG favorites for mothers and babes:

1. It’s the lovely Sarah soothing all the noise of Christmas out in the nicest way. It’s Lyra’s favorite in the car when all is wrong with the world. I used to play it for the boys while they were going to sleep.

you can find it here.

2. Jen just rolled out these soulful little cards for the holidays. They are the perfect answer to everything deep in your heart you might not be able to even say. Jen’s photography on the front with the power of her handwriting on the back. They make a love bomb when paired with #3.

3. You know how I feel about a good story. Jen Lee put together a collection of her work on a cd perfect for relaxing into all the best places of your soul (and hers). She is a brilliant writer and I predict will be a kind leader of all things soulfull on the net.

4. Lyra was given a pair of these in pink after she was born by my dear friend Amy. Aren’t they sweet? What could be better than baby mary janes…more baby goodness here.

5. Just a small reminder for those in the family that would give their right arm for a puppy…and she is SO much better I must say. This adorable tee is by Baby Brewing made famous by this hilarious pregnant woman. If you are a Richmonder, Kris and clothing line will be at Bizarre Bazaar this weekend. Stop by and tell her KG sent you.

6. Most importantly…A gift you can give another mom and babe…

For every 10 people that sign up for this club, the kind people of Graco will give a free car seat to someone in need. All you safety obsessed car seat enthusiasts, it’s time to be loud and proud. I say it’s the least we can do right?

Okay, let the shopping commence…peace and love this holiday.

Love has taken me to dark places, showing me how messy it can be. Calling me to fight for it over and over again. I have held it, stared it in the face, been broken by it, hid in it, served it, felt it’s transforming power, surrendered all of my self to it…I will follow it to the end of the earth, I know no other way.

I am a love warrior.

amen.

i remind myself of this when i feel scared or unsure, completely undone…reminding me i can trust my intuition and heart, and most of all, love.

This one is for you Kee! Thanks for being part of our project…

see the prep fpr gg7 here.

I never write thank you notes. Isn’t that horrible? scratch that, I sometimes write them but then they sit in a basket on my kitchen counter waiting to be sent for months on end. Only GG could turn this personal flaw around. I decided I wanted thank people who rarely get thanked. You know, those doing the grunt work in the world, the thankless jobs. I wasn’t sure exactly how I was going to do this.

Gina came to the rescue as she always does. I knew I wanted to write personal notes and then Gina came up with the genius idea of including scratch lottery tickets along with our cards. (We secretly hoped our particular batch of tickets would be super lucky.) The message being, “Thanks and we are lucky to have you!”. And so our adventure began and let me tell you, it’s even more fun to do GG with a friend.

We spent the morning traipsing around Richmond with a car load of kids handing out thank you notes to complete strangers. It was awesome.

Our gettin’ lucky lotto cards.

Here is Gina giving a card to the DHL guy during a red light. Umm…can I tell you how unsafe this was with the oncoming traffic? Gina was so brave, the things we do for the GG thrill.

The school bus driver who was waiting for us to move so he could turn the corner. He was a little surprised.

We left one with the host to give to the dishwasher at CanCan. (a french restaurant here in Richmond)

We left one for a member of the cleaning staff at a local private school.

This one was our favorite, the street cleaner and Gina had a moment…he was very reluctant to take the card, Gina asked him to just trust her, he did. Sometimes we aren’t sure what to do with kindness or if it’s even real.

We hit the window washers at The Jefferson.

We also handed more cards to garbage truck guys, the thrift store clerk, the city bus drivers, lawn care friends, etc…20 total. It was nerve wrecking trying to hand them out and then make a quick get-a-way, my heart was pounding every time. We were surprised how normal most recipients responded, like a stranger handing you a card happens everyday. We laughed and felt silly. It was a total rush.

We hope you feel thanked if you have a thankless job today, even with out the note and a lucky card.

This also got us talking about maybe doing a group GG project in 2009. Are ya in? Let me know in the comments.

Happy Thanksgiving!

find out what makes thanksgiving great over here…

Things you need to take on GG 7: We’re LUCKY to have you! with 2 kindness girls and 6 kids…

1. A fabulous shiny silver clutch made from recycled candy wrappers.

2. The mack daddy SUV complete with Bob the Builder video.

3. A pit stop at Chick-fil-a with play place time and a refusal to eat anything but waffle fries.

4. Illegal apple juice stealing by a cute baby.

5. The prettiest and brightest thank you cards.

6. The ability to nurse and do anything at all times.

7. To admit you never write thank you notes, not even after your wedding.

8. A baby smile.

9. The belief that Kindness Changes Everything.

10. A fellow kindness girl from another city that sends a note of encouragement and funds to back the project. We wish she was here to do it with us.

11. A dear friend to read your notes to and anticipate how awesome it’s going to be.

12. The inspiration only a good blue pen and an old dining room table can bring.

Check back tomorrow to read all about GG7, the thankless, gettin’ lucky, and random kindness.

Conversation in the back seat of the car:

Josiah: Jackie, let’s say you have one THOUSAND dollars (said just like dr. evil), what would you do? I know what I would do, I would buy lots of legos and a laptop. and I’d do it before Dec. 1st because then I wouldn’t have to pay shipping.

Jack: Hmmm, that’s a good one. *a matter of fact pause*

I would go to NYC and live in a hotel…

Stranger story #2:
a burly guy and a baby smile…

check out the first stranger story here.

The queen of the stuffed animals…and they are her loyal subjects

What are you the queen of? What thing is yours, like it or not, the thing you own, your queendom? I’m pretty sure queendom isn’t even a word but it works huh?

I am the queen of…

buying and collecting boxes of thank you cards and never writing them…or writing them and then never sending them out

guerrilla goodness

picking every kind of produce the various farmers will allow (particularly berries of any kind) and way too much with out realizing it

grammatical errors

worrying there is something stuck in my teeth or visible boogers in my nose

having babies that fill their diapers exactly 3 seconds after I finish changing them

having a minor car accident every 3 years

making up words and trying to see if I can work them into real language (i.e. queendom)

never having wipes when I need them most

feeling the feelings in a room

being late to almost everything

cheering you up

creating a constant soundtrack of my life

eating way too much chocolate

family love

Tell me dear friends, what are the queen of? or king perhaps?

Brother Talk:

while playing on the computer…

Jack: Hey! Don’t pick that one.

Josiah: Why?

Jack: You know how I feel about that, it’s PINK! Pink is a girl color.

Josiah: I do NOT get why people have ISSUES with that.

*

Later on that evening…

Jack: Josiah, you know what?

Josiah: What?

Jack: I have discovered my secret talent! (he says secret in a whisper)

Josiah: What is it?

Jack: It’s drawling!

As Jack spent the entire night at the kitchen table drawing 57,000 pictures of Link from the Legend of Zelda. Link on a boat, Link in a tree, Link swimming, you get the idea…

It’s the day before the BIG day and I’ve spent it listening to an old favorite Arrested Development album. I feel dreamy, trying to soak in the impact of what voting in the first African American President into office means. It is the perfect soundtrack for the moment and even better that it’s 16 years old. AD, like so many other African Americans have been holding the space for so long, paving the way, believing in the ultimate hope and change for their race, for our country, for the world.

Pride must be overflowing from so many hearts…I will be honored to cast my vote tomorrow, I can’t imagine a better man, *regardless of race.

*added so you know my intent and heart.

“It’s my very first Halloween costume.” Jorge said.

“Really?” I replied.

“Well, except the one year my mom did let me dress up as a cowboy but I barely remember it.”
he explained.

It explained a lot actually. It explains why he was so excited this morning, pouring over the tiniest details of his Village People construction worker costume for work. He was so engrossed in trimming his blond wig that we were 40 minutes late for school. How could I stay mad? He was following his Halloween bliss.

and I decided I should too….so I got 10 of the 300 pumpkins in my front yard (another story entirely) and wrote messages on them. Lyra (on her first GG mission) and I put them all over our city.

don’t give up

it will be…

you are awesome! (it’s true)

you are beautiful…

my favorite was “believe in love” but I couldn’t get a decent picture.

Enjoy the candy goodwill tonight my friends! May guerrilla kindness find you soon wherever you are…

jorge, lucy and shadows

“I like this side of you, it’s edgy and kind of desperate.” my sister said referring to my postpartum self.

My work since I turned 30 has been to discover new parts of me, live them, rejoice in them, in some cases grieve them, make peace and accept all that I am. The shadow side being my least favorite and most needed to take me to new places.  Can you live in the shadow? I guess it just means the light is shining on you from somewhere and maybe the shadows aren’t so scary or bad after all.

She isn’t my easiest baby. Screaming erupts when she can not feel my heartbeat. Her body is constantly close to mine, we are in the fourth trimester. I am tired and completely touched out but I hear myself saying over and over again in my mind, “but she is my baby.” I instinctively know how precious this time is and I’m willing to do almost anything for her.

It seems everyone feels this way as they look at Lyra in sheer adoration and wait patiently for their turn to hold her. I imagine what it must be like to be the object of such love. It’s like a puppy that never grows up.

My mom reminds me of the days when I was the baby before my younger sister came. My older sisters dressed me, sang songs and read books to me for hours on end.

We all had a time when every little cry was settled and every smile celebrated. A time when arms were all we knew. I can’t help but think there are still parts of us that are like a tiny baby, still needing such intense love to grow. These parts are longing to be cradled and nurtured. Some of us have given it to ourselves while others have screamed, cried and required it from those closest to us. Either way, we must not leave, ignore or put off the tiniest part inside for it is the most precious and deserves all the love it can hold.